The Simpsons (TV Series)
Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One (1995)
Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson
Quotes
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Lisa Simpson : [on the phone] Oh, no! That's awful, Mr. Puente. What? Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash, too.
[hangs up the phone]
Lisa Simpson : Dad, how can you work for a man like Mr. Burns?
Homer : Well, he's not all bad. He did send me this nice thank-you card.
Lisa Simpson : Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Dad, this doesn't have your name on it.
[Homer looks at the card and lowers it slowly; his pupils shrink in anger]
Homer : Kids, would you step outside for a second?
[Bart and Lisa run outside as Homer stands up]
Homer : [inhales deeply] F...
[church organ plays a chord, birds fly away and everyone looks at the Simpson house]
Ned Flanders : Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard!
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Moe Szyslak : I lost my bar!
Barney Gumble : I lost his bar!
Lisa Simpson : He robbed the school of music!
Principal Skinner : He robbed the school of financial security!
Tito Puente : He robbed the school of Tito!
Homer : He can't remember my name!
Marge Simpson : He's causing us all to yell!
[Maggie sucks her pacifier violently]
Bart Simpson : Look what he did to my best friend!
[Camera pans to Milhouse eating Cheezies]
Bart Simpson : No, my dog!
[Santa's Little Helper rolls in on his cart]
Mr. Burns : [Mr. Burns enters, chuckling] Oh, those wheels are squeaking a bit. Perhaps I can sell him a little oil?
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Marge Simpson : I must say, Mr. Burns is being awfully inconsiderate - selfish, even.
Bart Simpson : Burns needs some serious boostafazoo, right Dad?... Dad?... Homer!
Lisa Simpson : [Bart pulls paper away to reveal Abe]
[Abe, Bart Lisa all scream]
Lisa Simpson : Sorry, Grampa. It's just that for a second it looked like Dad had melted.
Abe Simpson : Well, get used to it, 'cause I'm living here now. I ain't going back to the retirement home until they fish my bed out of that sinkhole.
