Valerie Harper: Valerie Hogan

Quotes 

• Valerie Hogan : I just spent an hour with the principal listening to the foulest language I have ever heard and he was quoting your brother. I don't know what to do with that kid.

  Mark Hogan : I thought you were making him pay a quarter for each bad word he said.

  Valerie Hogan : Yes, yes. See this?

  [holds up a jar of change] 

  Valerie Hogan : . We are now a three income family!

• Bruno : Excuse me, Miss Manners, you wanna take this kid back to the docks where you found him?

  Valerie Hogan : What's the matter, what's going on?

  Bruno : I don't want him using that kind of language around my kids.

  Valerie Hogan : Oh no. What did he say?

  Bruno : Let him repeat it, I got standards.

  Willie Hogan : It just slipped out.

  Bruno : Nothing with that many syllables slips out! That kind of cursing takes long hours of careful construction.

  Valerie Hogan : Thank you Bruno. Willie, sit down. You and I are going to have a talk.

  Bruno : Talk? What that kid needs it to chew on a bar of Palmolive for a couple of hours!

• Valerie Hogan : You are grounded for two weeks, do you hear me? No discussion.

  Willie Hogan : Two weeks?

  Valerie Hogan : Yes.

  Willie Hogan : That bites!

  Valerie Hogan : Three weeks. And no bicycle.

  Willie Hogan : I'll take cabs. To hell with it!

  Valerie Hogan : Four weeks. Four weeks Willie, and you better lose this attitude really quickly, really fast!

  Willie Hogan : I like this attitude, cause it matches my eyes.

  Valerie Hogan : Willie, I am warning you.

  Willie Hogan : Keep the bike, I don't even wanna ride that piece of...

  [she rubs a soapy sponge in his mouth]