User Reviews

I give this movie a 5 because of two reasons. 1: It is the worst horror movie I've ever seen. 2: The horrible acting, camera shots, and special effects made me laugh so hard, I practically choked. If you're a fan of B-movies with such bad acting that its funny; pick this movie up. If you're looking for a horror movie; keep on looking. Since i got to fill up lines, Ill add some more reasons why this movie is a 5. At one part, a guy picks up a chainsaw and hacks off a girls arm. Blood spray was kinda cool but nothing special. The funny part was that you can tell the chainsaw was never on and that the sound was a crappy recording. Heres another moment that made me die laughing. A guys head was decapitated and placed on a plate in the foreground of the camera. Instead of watching the action in the background, I continued to watch the head blink and move throughout the scene. Talk about hilarious.

Blood Ranch starts as four friends, Jason (Dayton Knoll) his sister Jen (Season Hamilton) along with lovers Mark (Mike Faiola) & Val (Madeleine Lindley) on their way to a festival stop off to pick up a hitchhiker, an English guy named Alex (Daniel O'Meara). As they speed down the isolated desert highway they almost run-over a girl named Megan (Shalena Hughes) who is in a terrible state, then they are harassed & run off the road by a black A-Team type van, Jen, Mark, Val & Alex all head off into the distance in search of the nearest town while Mark stays behind with the car & Megan. The four travelling teens quickly stumble into heaps of trouble though as they seek help in at a ranch called 'The Web' owned by a psycho named Spider (Jim Fitzpatrick) who along with his disciples torture, rape, kill & eat anyone unfortunate enough to run into them...

Produced & directed by Corbin Timbrook I have to admit that Blood Ranch wasn't quite as bad as I had originally feared it would be but even then I would be very hard pressed to describe Blood Ranch as a good film or indeed anywhere near approaching a good film. The script by Antonio Hernandez is a sort of uneven horror comedy that to my eyes is a The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) wannabe. The basic set-up is alright if unoriginal, a group of teens travelling across America become victims of some gang of killer psychos who decorate their house with body parts as well as hang people up & torture them with chainsaws. For the majority of it's running time Blood Ranch is an unremarkable cheap low budget horror teen slasher that isn't the worst of it's kind but nowhere near the best either, then towards the end there's a very unnecessary rape sequence in which a filthy dirty old man rapes a young woman which I suppose is OK since Blood Ranch is an exploitation film but on a personal level if it's one thing that I find distasteful & have a hard time enjoying it's rape. I'm no prude & I certainly ain't that bothered by the scene but I just don't like the idea of a young woman being tied up then brutally raped for no reason, maybe I'm a hypocrite because I did enjoy seeing the other woman tied up & having her arm cut off with a chainsaw but I just have a hard time gaining any pleasure from seeing someone raped. The film moves along at a reasonable pace & it's watchable enough on a low budget teen slasher level, but that isn't saying much is it? The character's are pretty poor as well, there seems to loads of bad guy's running around on the ranch & a whole bunch of caged female victims but we never get to know any of them or what happens to most of them either & have little purpose in the film.

Director Timbrook does alright, the film looks competent & he at least keeps his camera steady so you can actually see what's going on. The gore levels are very disappointing here, there's a bit of blood splatter, there's a cut off arm, a decapitated head & nothing else worth mentioning. In fact more than half of the group of six teens survive! I always thought the reason behind having lots of annoying teen character's in slasher flicks is so you can kill them off, right? I guess Timbrook didn't realise that. The comedy elements are also very hit & miss, to start off with the film is very serious & then towards the end introduces various silly bits like someone playing darts using another mans bare back as a dartboard, almost nude killers running around in just their underwear, a midget woman & a whole cage of captive teen girls again in just their underwear.

Technically the film is alright, it's reasonably well made considering it's a low budget straight-to-DVD shot on a camcorder type horror film. The acting varies, some do OK while other's are terrible with Daniel O'Meara's English accent truly awful although most of the girls in it are nice & easy on the eye.

Blood Ranch is better than I expected it was going to be, then again considering I thought it was going to be one of the worst films ever that's not saying much. I'd say slightly below average although if your absolutely desperate it might pass 90 odd minutes without sending you to sleep.

I'm writing this review mostly with the intention of warning you not to waste any of your time with this, since the rating for it appears to be inexplicably high (5.1!?). I was attracted by this DVD cover, which is pretty cool and very promising, but unfortenately it just didn't deliver. For the record, I'm a horror fan and fond of trash movies too. That is, the good ones. When the budget is very, very low, you've gotta compensate that with something. Could be lots of well crafted but still cheap gore effects, nudity, believable violence, a clever script, unbelievable sickness... something! Blood Ranch doesn't. All the situations and dialogs are both cliché and fake. Everything in the movie is a rip-off from something else, only worsened. The only rape scene is ridiculously fake and chicks won't even show their breasts, which is the opposite that the cover from the DVD implies. Forget about this one, rent Cabin Fever or anything else instead.

Well, well well. Where do I start. I have been a fan of horror/splatter movies my whole life. I really like when the movie takes me by surprise and makes me stop breathing. I have seen so many movies in this genre and many of the has been rather bad and tedoius, but in some way I have enjoyed then anyway. So what defines a good horror flic? The script? The camera? The actors? the number of kills? The sound? Or is it the amount of really nasty scenes? Blood Ranch has absolutely nothing of the above. Just look at the editing and camera-work in the movie. I have never seen anything so poor in my life. Take the car chase in the beginning. In one scene they are driving on a highway, and the next clip they are on a "dirtroad", and then back to the highway again. Over and over again in the same scene. Not to mention the use of same clips for different parts in the movie. The editing in whole are just a joke, my 13 year old boy edits our home filmed clips way better to be honest. Blood ranch really tries to be all that and fails miserably from the very start. The story isn't much to talk about. It's been done hundreds of times before in different versions. But it's Blood Ranch strongest part, because it's truly weird. I have so much bad things to say about this movie and I could go on and on about it. Like when (spoiler) the madman shows the girl the chopped of head they are going to have for dinner. In that scene you can clearly see the actor moving his eyelids constantly, and thats kinda strange for a chopped off head.

I will end this before all this becomes a ranting of misery over this movie. My final word will be a plea that the version that I saw is NOT the finished version, and that I got ripped off buying a bad illegal screener instead of a legal release. This one will sit in my bookshelf as the all time high disappointment in my horror collection.

This movie is one of the worse movies i have ever seen, I thought all of the movie was a joke, me and my neighbor watched this movie and we first read about it here at IMDb and our expectations where high after reading about what the movie was about, we thought it would be like "WRONG TURN", "THE HILLS HAVE EYES" and "WOLF CREEK" but this movie was nothing like all of those movies. The movie contains the worse acting i have ever seen, and it is even filmed in a very weird and cheap way, just like in a low budget movie. Okey here we go the movie starts of with that some peoples car brokes down and they need to go on by foot and comes to a place called "BLOOD RANCH" where the most sick and retarded people lives and basically kills people. You may think that the movie should be good like somewhere in the movie but seriously i never found it. And the end just wait for the very end and try not to laugh! This is my first comment I'm sad it would be such a hard one against the movie, but it was hard to stay neutral and write all of the good stuff to, because they never was any.

Oh my God - where to start?? Quite possibly the worst horror film I've ever seen.

The set up had potential - however the makers of this drivel seem to have tried to select bits and pieces from other superior films.

So what makes it soooooo bad. - well here goes; the acting is terrible, the effects are shoddy, the script is corny , the direction is so poor that you wonder whether it is actually a joke.

Please don't be fooled by all the high ratings that this drivel is getting. Its not even one of the "its so bad thats its good" brigade.

to be avoided at all costs!! You have been warned.

Imagine a chopped off head resting on a dinner plate. A real head obviously, because the eyes keep blinking, no effort made on a special effects prop, except the piece of crap swinging in the hands of the eh... killer and shown only from behind, showing loosened up fake hair. Imagine you sitting there watching a heavily breathing scared victim who you know is acting like a heavily breathing scared victim. Imagine a shot of a van taking a wild left turn and seeing the exact same move a view minutes later. Are you mocking with me? Is this supposed to be funny? I'm 36 years old, have seen lot's of movies, this one must be the worst I've ever seen and ever will. That's for sure. And that's the only reason to watch this flick, and I guess the producers hope that's going to happen. I gave it a 2 out of 10 just for the effort and giving me a reason and the urge to comment.

This film was similar to "House of 1,000 Corpses". It is a combination of "Texas Chainsaw..." and "Blood Sucking Freaks". The movie has gore and is pornographic without nudity and includes one rape.

The bad guys are well played and colorful, about as much as one can expect from a movie named "Blood Ranch." If you are a Rob Zombie fan, and enjoy mixing gore with philosophy check this one out.

This movie was horrible! The acting was appalling by the victims and the crazy killers equally. The sound effects were awful too, when someone would get hit it sounded like someone thumping on an empty plastic yogurt container.

There were inconsistencies all through the movie, like the supposedly dead people breathing. When someone was supposed to be stabbed or hurt they would make the scene all confusing like they couldn't afford to pay for the effects to be shown on camera.

Most of the females would act either way too brave or way too frightened and could change from one to the other at any given moment. And how the victims would get themselves caught looked way to set up and had no originality at all. The whole movie was just a bunch of stuff already used and reused a ton of times by horror movies that I'm discombobulated as to why a company would have financed a movie like this in the first place.

Do not be fooled by the votes and comments on this movie. It is an attempt by the movie makers and friends to get you to see the movie. I was tricked and wasted time and money on this terrible, terrible movie. :-( This movie isn't even "good" bad. It's just bad.

I really hate to be this negative about a movie, but with all the fake reviews, people deserve to hear the truth. This movie sucks on every level. Bad acting, bad editing, bad sound, and terrible writing.

The story has been told a million times (and much better by others, might I add). This movie is not reminiscent of TCM, House of 1000 Corpese, or The Hills have Eyes. It is just low budget, predictable, junk. Much better could have been done with the budget.

**** Possible Spoiler Within ****

I had a tough time voting on this one. I mean it had obvious elements from "House of 1000 Corpses", "Wolf Creek", and "The Hills Have Eyes". It was these parts that contained the real horror elements that were done well, and for those who appreciate these movies, well I'm sure you'll get yer kicks here too.

The psychotic lack of empathy and the feeble attempt at a 'Charles Manson' type of philosophy are present here, as is the degrading circus freak show and the sickening gore fest. All this stuff doesn't really phase me anymore, but the rape scene was just totally unnecessary. I had to doc marks for that. Every time I watch these things I have to wonder if I've lost something of worth within my own self.

The acting is horrible, I'll leave it at that. If you want to watch something that's far more gripping and has much more substance. I would suggest 'Oz' or 'Panic Room'.