Family Guy (TV Series)
Road to Rupert (2007)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Pat Robertson, Bandit, Driver
Photos
Quotes
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Brian Griffin : [Brian singing] Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name.
Stewie Griffin : Who sings that song?
Brian Griffin : James Taylor.
Stewie Griffin : Yeah let's keep it that way.
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Stewie Griffin : [Stewie and Brian have just crashed their plane into a mountainside] Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.
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Stewie Griffin : And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering. Isn't that fun? I got these at Jack's Joke Shop in South Attleboro, Massachusetts. Remember, if it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack.
[Brian slaps him]
Stewie Griffin : Ah, bitch
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Brian Griffin : [after carjacking someone in Aspen, Colorado] Did we just car-jack someone?
Stewie Griffin : We sure did, Brian. We sure did.
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Stewie Griffin : [To an African American] You're welcome.
Guy : Excuse me?
Stewie Griffin : I'm just saying make it worth our while. We wrote a pretty big check for you folks.
Guy : I'd say the events that preceded it, the hundred years or so, we're even.
Stewie Griffin : Yeah, we gave more.
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Peter Griffin : There is no Peter, there is only Zuul!
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Stewie Griffin : What are we doing at the toy store?
Brian Griffin : I'm going to buy you another Rupert.
[takes a stuffed gorilla off the shelf]
Brian Griffin : This is cute and if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild.
[looks closer at the tag]
Brian Griffin : And if we don't, they kill one. Boy, these guys are really playing hardball.
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Stewie Griffin : Thanks for the ride, Bandit. And good luck tapping that
[with disgust]
Stewie Griffin : ... hot... hot... Sally Field tail.
The Bandit : Knock it off! I don't like it any more than you do.
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Brian Griffin : You are getting a little old for a teddy bear.
Stewie Griffin : Brian, I'm one.
Brian Griffin : Still?
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Peter Griffin : Aw, you should've seen what our amazing freakin' daughter did to that guy, Lois. She kicked his ass! It was like what life did to Dana Plato.
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Lois Griffin : Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?
Peter Griffin : Not me! What I want is a fresh glass of better daughter!
[Peter splashes Meg with lemonade]
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Peter Griffin : Hey, Joe.
Joe Swanson : Good morning, Peter. I'm here to revoked your driver's license.
Peter Griffin : What? Why?
Joe Swanson : We got reckless driving, disturbing the peace, plus the driver of one of the other cars was a virgin whose hymen was busted by the airbag, so rape.