Dwayne Hickman: Dobie Gillis

Quotes 

• [Dobie and Maynard are unable to envision their future for the essay assigned by Mr Pomfritt] 

  Dobie Gillis : The way I look at it, we're in this mess on account of our parents. Y'see, the trouble with parents is that all they ever teach us is fun and games. Then, all of a sudden, playtime's over. Whither are you drifting, they say; shape up young fella; life is real, life is earnest. Well, sure it's real, sure it's earnest. Why do they wait so long to tell us?

  Maynard G. Krebs : Well how could they tell us any sooner? We were too young.

  Dobie Gillis : We're still too young. Why are we still too young?

  Maynard G. Krebs : Why, Dobe?

  Dobie Gillis : Because they kept us young. They didn't let us grow up. They protected us, they coddled us.

  Maynard G. Krebs : They pushed us around pretty good, too.

  Dobie Gillis : It's all part of the same thing, Maynard. It's like when you had a little dog when you were a kid. Ya hug it and squeeze it and tickle its belly, but every once in a while, ya give it a slap on the nose, too. Well that's what they've done, Maynard, made pets of us.

• Maynard G. Krebs : My father must have problems, on account of he cries a lot... . Especially when he sees me. I wonder why?

  Dobie Gillis : No offense, Maynard, but if you were your father and saw you, what would you do?

  Maynard G. Krebs : Cry. Well it could-a been worse... . What if I'd been a girl? With this beard, and these clothes, then he'd have somethin' to cry about.