"Hammerfreundinnen" is a German television film from 2020 that actually premiered tonight at prime time on national television and ended minutes ago. The alternate title is "Kinder und andere Baustellen" that is easier to translate and basically means "Children and other building sites" if we take the verbal translation. Tough choice which title is better. Or actually neither should be associate with the word "good" whatsoever and the question is which title is worse. Both are really bad. The movie runs for 1.5 hours and the director is Christina Schiewe. Writer is Jens Urban. If you take a look at what this duo has done in the last 20 years basically, the director mostly in the last five years, then it should not come as a surprise to anybody that this is a terrible film. By the way, the one-word title we have here is all about the opposite of gender equality because it emphasizes females only and this strongly goes against the idea that there is one male character part of the gang too. Like he says himself, he does not fit in, but being attracted to the central character is of course enough for him to still hang around constantly and stay there even after his meltdown. That's how men are written in these films. Pathetic. Especially because the writer is actually a male too. But I shall get to the story later on and stay a bit with the basics for now. The male character I just mentioned is played by Stephan Grossmann and he is an actor I kinda like. Not sure he has a lot of range and versatility, but he sure has decent recognition value. Early on, in this film here, he is also still alright. But does not stay this way. The longer the film goes, the more absurd his character and the story surrounding become as well. And of course some fake tears are also asked for by the makers with the brief inclusion how his partner died. As for the rest of the cast: Mostly females. Oh well, not really. But the males play absolutely ridiculous characters. Sebastian Ströbel is only there for the female protagonist to feel more likable because she still sticks with her man and is nonetheless not scared about standing up to him and of course, as the film is mostly for female audiences, in the end, the guy has to show up and beg for forgiveness and follow all her orders to stay where they live. Dude, move to Hamburg. Forget her, she is not worth it. Look at her. On one occasions, when he returns unplanned to see her and talk to her and does not follow her orders immediately, she says something like that he must leave before he can see their daughter. Now that was really lovable and charming. Right what one wants in a relationship. If they were separated, he'd probably never see his child again until it's 18 years old. Okay, sorry I am in the story again. Martin Feifel is another male here. He plays one of the women's dads and there is also a conflict story, father-daughter drama, because he does not really accept her as an equal human being and that she is independent and does not believe in her. I remember the days when Feifel actually played the male love interest in these movies. Oh well, not that that would any better. Every role in this trashy film is a lost cause, even if admittedly, the cast overall is not as bad as the script. Then again, that is only because the script is so terrible and not because the actors would be any good. Also thumbs-down to them for accepting a role in this GEZ-finance travesty of a film. It may not be Degeto (because it is ZDF and not ARD), but it is just as bad.
Now a few references about the story: The key plot is already the biggest joke. So what do we have? A mother who wants to bring her child to the day-care center. However, they are closed. She finds out standing at the door? Really? They do not call, they do not send letters. Is this a joke? So what happens next. Yep, as usual in such a situation, you do not convince your boss to stay at home. You do not search for a babysitter. What do you do? You come up with your own day-care center obviously. This is how things go. Right now we have the best example. With corona day-care centers here were closed for quite a while. What happened? Mothers everywhere created their own day-care centers. Just kidding. All sarcasm to show you how absurd it all is. And if that is not enough already, we are supposed to believe that the mother keeps running into other mothers. Be it at an agency responsible for daycare people, be it at the home improvement store or wherever else. And of course, they collaborate in order to make sure the day-care center idea works. Which it does of course. In the end, there is a happy ending. How could it be something else. It always is in these films. Of course, we get some pseudo drama with the couple no longer staying together perhaps and also with the water in one room coming out of the wall. As if there was any doubt that things will work out amazingly. So the story is really stupid too. I only want to mention one actress: Valerie Niehaus because all the others I am not familiar with at all and even big German film buffs like myself will neither recognize their faces nor their names. I don't think it's my loss. I absolutely don't mind a new and fresh cast, but only if the performers are talented. The ones here don't seem that way to me. Niehaus is not talented either. She has proved that for decades really. But she is one to recognize because of her long and prolific career. But more of a reason to not watch a film than to watch it. That much is safe. Anyway, what else can I say. It's all so predictable here with the pseudo drama in the end, but also with how every character gets their poorly written story to justify them I suppose. Like the lesbian story for Niehaus' character. Or the father-daughter story for one of the others. It all feels so forgettable and uninteresting though. And unrealistic and unauthentic. Niehaus' character (again) is the best example for that. Her conflict with the protagonist when the two meet is the best example. Like this was the basis for a relationship where the two would not like each other at all and never want to see eacch other again. But hey, here they become friends of course because (great coincidence again!) Niehaus' character is a patient of the protagonist all of a sudden and shows up at her doorstep. What a small world! I don't even. Okay, should be enough now I suppose. I have made myself very clear in emphasizing why this is a bad film from every perspective. The music is another example. The soundtrack is really bad in terms of volume and how it is hammering sometimes and in general how it tries in the most uninspired manner possible to make scenes more significant. There are also some known songs included like a Spice Girls number. Can they not sue here? Come on, girls, if this is the way to prevent this trashy movie from being shown on national television for another ten years, probably tenty, then I am all for it. All in all, the good thing is they do not make these films as often anymore as they did approximately ten years ago. The bad news is they are still getting made. Big thumbs-down from me here. Highly not recommended.
Now a few references about the story: The key plot is already the biggest joke. So what do we have? A mother who wants to bring her child to the day-care center. However, they are closed. She finds out standing at the door? Really? They do not call, they do not send letters. Is this a joke? So what happens next. Yep, as usual in such a situation, you do not convince your boss to stay at home. You do not search for a babysitter. What do you do? You come up with your own day-care center obviously. This is how things go. Right now we have the best example. With corona day-care centers here were closed for quite a while. What happened? Mothers everywhere created their own day-care centers. Just kidding. All sarcasm to show you how absurd it all is. And if that is not enough already, we are supposed to believe that the mother keeps running into other mothers. Be it at an agency responsible for daycare people, be it at the home improvement store or wherever else. And of course, they collaborate in order to make sure the day-care center idea works. Which it does of course. In the end, there is a happy ending. How could it be something else. It always is in these films. Of course, we get some pseudo drama with the couple no longer staying together perhaps and also with the water in one room coming out of the wall. As if there was any doubt that things will work out amazingly. So the story is really stupid too. I only want to mention one actress: Valerie Niehaus because all the others I am not familiar with at all and even big German film buffs like myself will neither recognize their faces nor their names. I don't think it's my loss. I absolutely don't mind a new and fresh cast, but only if the performers are talented. The ones here don't seem that way to me. Niehaus is not talented either. She has proved that for decades really. But she is one to recognize because of her long and prolific career. But more of a reason to not watch a film than to watch it. That much is safe. Anyway, what else can I say. It's all so predictable here with the pseudo drama in the end, but also with how every character gets their poorly written story to justify them I suppose. Like the lesbian story for Niehaus' character. Or the father-daughter story for one of the others. It all feels so forgettable and uninteresting though. And unrealistic and unauthentic. Niehaus' character (again) is the best example for that. Her conflict with the protagonist when the two meet is the best example. Like this was the basis for a relationship where the two would not like each other at all and never want to see eacch other again. But hey, here they become friends of course because (great coincidence again!) Niehaus' character is a patient of the protagonist all of a sudden and shows up at her doorstep. What a small world! I don't even. Okay, should be enough now I suppose. I have made myself very clear in emphasizing why this is a bad film from every perspective. The music is another example. The soundtrack is really bad in terms of volume and how it is hammering sometimes and in general how it tries in the most uninspired manner possible to make scenes more significant. There are also some known songs included like a Spice Girls number. Can they not sue here? Come on, girls, if this is the way to prevent this trashy movie from being shown on national television for another ten years, probably tenty, then I am all for it. All in all, the good thing is they do not make these films as often anymore as they did approximately ten years ago. The bad news is they are still getting made. Big thumbs-down from me here. Highly not recommended.
