"Sterne über dem Eis" is a German television film from 2009, so this one is already comfortably over a decade old now and still occasionally on television here, just like it was today. I am not sure that is the bigger travesty, if it is that this is still on nowadays or that this mess got released anyway. But let's start with the basics for now: The title means "Stars above the ice" and is a romantic reference to a polar expedition that takes place in here or maybe in fact to another one that took place over 15 years earlier. In any case, it's not a good title and surely feels pretentious. The director is the highly prolific Sigi Rothemund. He was in his mid60s when he made this and still seems to be active today. His most recent work is from 2019. Even if he may have started directing back in the mid60s already, this absolutely does not imply he is remote talented. On the contrary, the fact that at a relatively old age he worked on terrible stuff like that says nothing positive at all. And we also shall not forget about his involvement with Donna Leon adaptations, Katie Fforde adaptations, Der Clown and Alarm für Cobra 11. It will be really hard to find a less talented filmmaker than him with an amount of credits in triple-digit territory. He did not write screenplays for his directorial efforts too often, especially in the new millennium, so they got Henriette Piper on board for that. Her body of work is certainly not as terrible as the director's, but also far from convincing. She worked on a few theatrical releases too over the years, some of them films for children and/or children's book adaptations. Here and there, she may even have a mildly watchable film in her body of work. This one here, however, is a definite contender for worst career effort and this probably applies to every single person that was part of the production of this movie.
As for the cast, we really do not have too many big names here. Those two that play the lovebirds are probably among the most famous. This includes Birge Schade and Michael Fitz. Both have been in quite a few of these pretty terrible ARD releases over the years. The inclusion of Theaterkunst GmbH is almost always a safe indicator that a movie has poor quality and here it totally fits the description. May sound harsh, but it's true. Anyway, Fitz was even slightly tolerable here. The scene when he meets his daughter for the first time was even alright acting from him. Not gonna lie. Cannot say the same about Schade. She was really bad at times, especially those moments in which she needs to play awkward. Like the scene at the table when the male protagonist's father asks her something and she says she has to leave and make a phone call. That was so pathetic. And it was not the way she displayed how her character was weirded out. It was how she came really short to make this moment work. Admittedly, the script was not exactly helping either. Another weak moment from her was when she lied about her daughter's age. Said daughter is played by Vanessa Krüger. She was a bit on the cute side, but seems the actress also stopped acting and leads a life away from the limelight now as she has not been in a film for a decade almost. According to imdb. She was still tolerable, especially in the second half where she had more to work with. But how she screams at her dad when she finds out about the cheating was also cringeworthy. Sachtleben plays a key character in the first half of the film. Or first hour you could say as well. He is still alive now and turns 90 this year. His Asterix film inclusion sounds certainly interesting, but almost 200 episodes of the abysmal Um Himmels Willen are nothing that makes me really respect him either despite his very long career. Pity. There's other established actors in here like Schlattner, Klimsa and Daemgen, but they don't seem to familiar despite some fairly big projects they were a part of.
Now let's focus on the plot, story and individual scenes that make it very obvious that this is a terrible film. In general, you can say too much is happening to feel remotely realistic or authentic here. Subtlety is something this film would have needed. Badly. The issues are there from the very start. So many. Take it how the male protagonist's sister shows up there to hand over her dad to her brother for a while. Or how said sister's husband (I think) starts randomly swearing when they find out via phone that the old man has disappeared from the retirement home. So bizarre. Also why did they not send him there right away. I mean only for a little while until they return. But instead the yget the male protagonist involved. Said protagonist of course spontaneously is about to leave for the Pole. Within days apparently. Yeah right, confirmation and off you go. That makes sense. Also pretty stupid how they are celebrating when he shows up at work and nobody even called him. At the same time he is in a relationship with a colleague from his team and she wants them to live together, have children etc. He is hesitant of course because the real woman of his dreams is still somebody else. That was also embarrassing how they told this to the audience by having the old man say that Schade's character is the only one he ever introduced to his parents. There are so many cringeworthy moments with this film. Also the key idea that the old man manages to get on board of the expedition vessel by pretending to be a journalist. Or he does not even have to say anything, but is asked if he is xy and he says yes. Now that makes sense. About as much as the actual journalist not showing up to prove he is the one who belongs on the ship. Sigh. Or the idea that the two main characters randomly end up on the same expedition. I am not sure if this was more pathetic or if it was the way the other woman reacted to her man's former partner. The cringe was there already with the scenes early on when the man is admired by three young female students and she intervenes right away by telling them not a chance before the next semester.
If we are taking a look at the relationships between humans, the movie could also not feel more fake. In the usual anti-male approach, we find out that the male protagonist back in the day got caught in the act by Schade's character. We also find out that he did not want any children. These are basically the justifications for the woman not telling her daughter or the father the truth. So likable. But hey, she just missed the right moment and she tells us and of course we are still supposed to like her a lot and want her to be happy. I know I didn't. And how quickly the daughter forgives her eventually before her play and also how quickly the father also forgives her is an absolute abomination. Women are getting away with everything in these films and they want us to believe this is authentic. Unreal stuff. And how does the man forgive her? Yep, he asks her to marry him. Before they were even a couple. She of course has the right to turn away initially, but then goes back and kisses him and agrees. I don't even. I mean this is not 1960. And yet marry without being together even? With all the drama that went on? How sweet, these two must be made for each other. This is so ridiculous. I just mentioned the play and yes the filmmakers here even had the audacity to (ab)use Shakespeare despite their entire absence of the slightest bit of talent. Of course, out two lovebirds sit next to each other in the first row despite the men getting the ticket on his own very briefly before the event. Makes sense. Oh and the old man also has a miracle recovery apperently and shows up for the show right on time. There we see his heart attack and really serious operation was also just used for the sake of it all. The father-son drama this way also feels as fake as it gets and this health issues are really an insult to everybody who really had a heart attack. By the way, there the anti-male component also comes into play again or the exaggeratedly pro-female component I could say with how the old man says he has done a lot wrong in his life, but best thing was that he married his son's mother. A bit of foreshadowing. The worst moment the involving the old man was probably when they randomly see polar bears (of course they do and with a cub obviously) and he says that the fathers leave like cowards after insemination. I don't even. The parallels here are utter cringe.
By now, you're hopefully getting that absolutely everything is wrong with this terrible movie. The gay guy was embarrassing too with the stereotypes and how he walked past Schade's character like a dog on some occasions in the second half. So many unwatchable moments that I could not mention them all before eventually running into the character limit. Another would be the old man's letter to his son. Then the talk from a random guy to the male protagonist's original partner how she should not wait with her dreams forever. That woman by the was only partially depicted as an antagonist. No surprise either though. Women are never evil antagonists in these films, they just have different priorities in her case. They would not risk 1% to offend the predominantly female audience here. More: How Schade's character randomly finds out about the old man's health struggles. How after she tells the age of the girl, another really minor character responds by saying she baked a cake. So the key story sucked and the small moments sucked as much. And the only perspective from which Schade's character is right by saying that she is not the evil one here is that the really evil ones are the people who agreed to this film, were a part of the production and financed it. These are truly wicked. Especially because once again it happened got made thanks to everybody's GEZ money. A true disgrace. This film should never even exist. May sound harsh, but it's true. Yes, it is this bad. Lowest rating possible. Highly not recommended.
As for the cast, we really do not have too many big names here. Those two that play the lovebirds are probably among the most famous. This includes Birge Schade and Michael Fitz. Both have been in quite a few of these pretty terrible ARD releases over the years. The inclusion of Theaterkunst GmbH is almost always a safe indicator that a movie has poor quality and here it totally fits the description. May sound harsh, but it's true. Anyway, Fitz was even slightly tolerable here. The scene when he meets his daughter for the first time was even alright acting from him. Not gonna lie. Cannot say the same about Schade. She was really bad at times, especially those moments in which she needs to play awkward. Like the scene at the table when the male protagonist's father asks her something and she says she has to leave and make a phone call. That was so pathetic. And it was not the way she displayed how her character was weirded out. It was how she came really short to make this moment work. Admittedly, the script was not exactly helping either. Another weak moment from her was when she lied about her daughter's age. Said daughter is played by Vanessa Krüger. She was a bit on the cute side, but seems the actress also stopped acting and leads a life away from the limelight now as she has not been in a film for a decade almost. According to imdb. She was still tolerable, especially in the second half where she had more to work with. But how she screams at her dad when she finds out about the cheating was also cringeworthy. Sachtleben plays a key character in the first half of the film. Or first hour you could say as well. He is still alive now and turns 90 this year. His Asterix film inclusion sounds certainly interesting, but almost 200 episodes of the abysmal Um Himmels Willen are nothing that makes me really respect him either despite his very long career. Pity. There's other established actors in here like Schlattner, Klimsa and Daemgen, but they don't seem to familiar despite some fairly big projects they were a part of.
Now let's focus on the plot, story and individual scenes that make it very obvious that this is a terrible film. In general, you can say too much is happening to feel remotely realistic or authentic here. Subtlety is something this film would have needed. Badly. The issues are there from the very start. So many. Take it how the male protagonist's sister shows up there to hand over her dad to her brother for a while. Or how said sister's husband (I think) starts randomly swearing when they find out via phone that the old man has disappeared from the retirement home. So bizarre. Also why did they not send him there right away. I mean only for a little while until they return. But instead the yget the male protagonist involved. Said protagonist of course spontaneously is about to leave for the Pole. Within days apparently. Yeah right, confirmation and off you go. That makes sense. Also pretty stupid how they are celebrating when he shows up at work and nobody even called him. At the same time he is in a relationship with a colleague from his team and she wants them to live together, have children etc. He is hesitant of course because the real woman of his dreams is still somebody else. That was also embarrassing how they told this to the audience by having the old man say that Schade's character is the only one he ever introduced to his parents. There are so many cringeworthy moments with this film. Also the key idea that the old man manages to get on board of the expedition vessel by pretending to be a journalist. Or he does not even have to say anything, but is asked if he is xy and he says yes. Now that makes sense. About as much as the actual journalist not showing up to prove he is the one who belongs on the ship. Sigh. Or the idea that the two main characters randomly end up on the same expedition. I am not sure if this was more pathetic or if it was the way the other woman reacted to her man's former partner. The cringe was there already with the scenes early on when the man is admired by three young female students and she intervenes right away by telling them not a chance before the next semester.
If we are taking a look at the relationships between humans, the movie could also not feel more fake. In the usual anti-male approach, we find out that the male protagonist back in the day got caught in the act by Schade's character. We also find out that he did not want any children. These are basically the justifications for the woman not telling her daughter or the father the truth. So likable. But hey, she just missed the right moment and she tells us and of course we are still supposed to like her a lot and want her to be happy. I know I didn't. And how quickly the daughter forgives her eventually before her play and also how quickly the father also forgives her is an absolute abomination. Women are getting away with everything in these films and they want us to believe this is authentic. Unreal stuff. And how does the man forgive her? Yep, he asks her to marry him. Before they were even a couple. She of course has the right to turn away initially, but then goes back and kisses him and agrees. I don't even. I mean this is not 1960. And yet marry without being together even? With all the drama that went on? How sweet, these two must be made for each other. This is so ridiculous. I just mentioned the play and yes the filmmakers here even had the audacity to (ab)use Shakespeare despite their entire absence of the slightest bit of talent. Of course, out two lovebirds sit next to each other in the first row despite the men getting the ticket on his own very briefly before the event. Makes sense. Oh and the old man also has a miracle recovery apperently and shows up for the show right on time. There we see his heart attack and really serious operation was also just used for the sake of it all. The father-son drama this way also feels as fake as it gets and this health issues are really an insult to everybody who really had a heart attack. By the way, there the anti-male component also comes into play again or the exaggeratedly pro-female component I could say with how the old man says he has done a lot wrong in his life, but best thing was that he married his son's mother. A bit of foreshadowing. The worst moment the involving the old man was probably when they randomly see polar bears (of course they do and with a cub obviously) and he says that the fathers leave like cowards after insemination. I don't even. The parallels here are utter cringe.
By now, you're hopefully getting that absolutely everything is wrong with this terrible movie. The gay guy was embarrassing too with the stereotypes and how he walked past Schade's character like a dog on some occasions in the second half. So many unwatchable moments that I could not mention them all before eventually running into the character limit. Another would be the old man's letter to his son. Then the talk from a random guy to the male protagonist's original partner how she should not wait with her dreams forever. That woman by the was only partially depicted as an antagonist. No surprise either though. Women are never evil antagonists in these films, they just have different priorities in her case. They would not risk 1% to offend the predominantly female audience here. More: How Schade's character randomly finds out about the old man's health struggles. How after she tells the age of the girl, another really minor character responds by saying she baked a cake. So the key story sucked and the small moments sucked as much. And the only perspective from which Schade's character is right by saying that she is not the evil one here is that the really evil ones are the people who agreed to this film, were a part of the production and financed it. These are truly wicked. Especially because once again it happened got made thanks to everybody's GEZ money. A true disgrace. This film should never even exist. May sound harsh, but it's true. Yes, it is this bad. Lowest rating possible. Highly not recommended.
