User Reviews

I guess that's the best described movie title since Snakes on a plane. The movie delivers fully on its title and that's all you can expect from it, isn't it? A year ago Frightfest audiences were treated to a glimpse of some footage from the film. August 2012 the same audience (or whoever came again) got to see the whole film. And I'd say it played pretty well with most people.

I liked it too. The humor is good, you get Cockney language thrown in a couple of times and one the slowest chases you'll see in any film. And it works really good tension-wise. Mr. Ford of course is a delight to watch and he must have had a lot of fun on the set. You can't and shouldn't take a movie like that serious. Otherwise you'd have trouble enjoying this

A gang of bank robbers fight their way out of a zombie-infested London.

When I heard the title of this film, I kept thinking there was no way this could possibly be good. The reviews were consistently positive, but that title was just so bad. Hopefully others are not scared off by the lame name, because the critics were right -- this is a winner.

We have a rocking soundtrack that keeps the pace and flow going, one of the best chase scenes ever put to film, some clever moments in a subgenre (zombie films) that should be completely used up by now... and some elderly folks with big guns.

Others have said this is "Shaun of the Dead" meets "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels". That may be fair -- it is as good as both of these films, and really needs to be seen. I can see it becoming a cult classic alongside "Shaun"...

A fun filled zombie film. Definitely not one of the best, but highly enjoyable. Loved the dialog and all the actor character portrayals. The gore effects had highs and lows, meaning there were some gore effects that were crazy good and other gore effects that were most likely rushed or they didn't put too much thought into. Alan Ford had me in stitches, he did an awesome job, I guarantee you will like him a lot in this film. Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway who play the central characters were both entertaining, and I wouldn't mind if the two reprise their roles in a sequel. Lastly I wanna speak about the lovely Michelle Ryan (who plays Katey, the cousin), I sorta fell in love with her in this film and loved her fiery attitude as she helped kick some zombie butt. In closing, I really try my best not to give away any of a particular film, because we usually already know what a film is about, and the only thing that comes next is to watch the film. In my opinion spoilers suck and it takes away from what others may enjoy or dislike about a particular film, that's why I rather that others come to their own conclusion upon viewing a film for themselves. Cockney vs Zombies...I loved it!...and I hope other fans of the genre get to see it and come to love it as well.

(57%) Very much a movie that owes a great deal of its existence to "Shaun of the dead", and to a large extent that's no bad thing. It shares a super simplistic plot of its predecessor, only here it has got its head in the clouds a great deal more with its comedy bank job scenes and 17th century mummified zombies. The laughs themselves aren't of an equal quality of "Shaun of the dead", and they mostly derive from the very cockney turns of phrase, with the very funny Alan Ford giving it both barrels whenever the opportunity arises, and the sadly no longer with us Richard Briers gunning down zombies with an uzi from his zimmer frame. Overall it isn't a comedy classic, but it does offer exactly what it promises.

I've grown quite allergic to the terms zombie-comedy, and especially to the allegedly cool slang name "zomedy", because we horror fanatics are literally overloaded with movies about the Living Dead that are supposed to be horrific and hilarious at the same time. In reality, however, the vast majority of them are just downright dull, uninspired and irritating. Ever since the British cult hit "Shaun of the Dead", it seems like every (young?) aspiring film director assumes that he/she can make a horror comedy even though these two remain the hardest genres to put into a blender together. Therefore I was rather skeptical when I went to see "Cockneys vs. Zombies" at a local horror festival here in Belgium. The idea sounded good, the trailer looked mighty fine and the cast features a handful of names that even make the most mediocre movie tolerable (Alan Ford from "Snatch" and Honor "Pussy Galore" Blackman) but still … it remained a zomedy! It took me more or less five minutes to put all my skepticism aside, though, because the movie starts out amazingly and I immediately got sucked in. The intro sequence and particularly the awesomely animated opening credits, guided by the magnificent song "What's that coming over the hill is it a monster?" by The Automatic, set the basis for an exhilarating, fast-paced and blood-spurting horror adventure. Admittedly the script features many clichés, stereotypes and redundant melodramatic moments, but overall seen is director Matthias Hoene's approach fresh and inventive. In Cockney country, the heart of working class East London, construction workers are building a gigantic apartment complex for which several traditional monuments have to be demolished, including the old folk's home of Granddad Ray Maguire and his friends. His offspring plans to rob a bank so that he doesn't have to move away from the area, but something else also interferes with the construction works… a zombie invasion! When the workers stumble upon ancient catacombs underneath the city, the region is quickly overrun by thousand of zombies. The bank robbers battle their way back to the retirement home as fast as they can, but the old timer prove themselves still tough enough to stand up against the undead. "Cockneys vs. Zombies" (don't you just love it when the title is, in fact, the entire plot?) is a straightforward and largely unpretentious zombie romp that delivers what you expect (or hope for). There are various flaws, like for example the screenplay refuses to sacrifice any real pivot characters and overdoes the melodrama a bit near the climax, but these are widely compensated through ingenious little plot aspects and the excessive gore effects. Certain sequences already qualify as instant classic in my book. For example, you haven't seen a zombie chase until you witness the race between a pensioner with a walking frame and a traditionally slow-sauntering rotting corpse. Or, how to kill a zombie with a metal plate in his head? And then for the obvious biggest trump of the film I'd like to refer to the title. The genuine Cockney characters and the delicious rhyming slang dialogs are the elements that truly distinguish the film from the others. Alan Ford must be the coolest Cockney since Sid Vicious and, as expected, he steals the show in every sequence he's in.

So Cockneys vs Zombies. I don't know if you have to be Cockney to find this flick amusing, I however didn't. Not able to compete with movies like Zombieland and Shaun of the dead, i found the movie weak, with a bad plot, and the special effects very bad. i seriously thought about turning the movie off more than once. i don't know if it was a low budget movie, even the funny parts of the movie failed to entertain me, and i normally really fond of Zombieflick. The acting was OK, and the casting was so so with a few flaws, the Mental mickey character wasn't really mental enough in my eyes.

The only thing i found amusing was the into and the theme song. OH and i hate when movies use "pretend" bullits where actors have to pretend to fire their weapons..

So - you liked Shaun of The Dead? The mix of drama, deadpan comedy and in-jokes? You will LOVE Cockneys vs Zombies! There's nothing not to like - great story, well-developed characters, loads of laugh-out-loud moments....

I watched this at the back of the house, downstairs. My daughter was upstairs at the front of the house, listening to music via headphones. And heard me laughing. That's how much fun this film is - I could go into more depth and say how funny Alan Ford is reprising his "Bricktop" role from "Snatch," how great is is to see Honor Blackman kicking ass again - in her mid-80's! and ....oh never mind. Watch, laugh and enjoy....I did! At least a 9/10.....

You've seen 'Shaun of the Dead' and most likely almost every other zombie spoof as well if you're now looking up this zombie comedy. Well, I'll tell you that you're havin a bath if you spend more than a film on this, not that I condone half-inching dvds either! It's good, it has so many laugh out loud scenes and hilarious dialogue, and then it has Michelle Ryan, who I quite like.

So, Terry and Andy are two brothers planning to rob a bank, with the aid of cousin Katy, nice but dim friend Davey Tuppence and local nutter Mental Mickey, all because the council is allowing the demolition of their granddad's retirement home. When the job goes bad, they're spared being shot by the police, when a sudden zombie outbreak lays waste to London's East End.

Banded together with the bank robbing gang and the hostages they've taken, Terry and Andy must find a way to rescue granddad, with the £2 million they stole in tow. That's it in a nutshell and the rest comes down to the silly fun they have taking the gypsy's kiss out of every cockney stereotype in existence.

What really sells it for me is Alan Ford as granddad Ray and his fellow retirees defending the nursing home from the undead. Foul mouthed cockney pensioner gangsters are always a bit of a laugh, but when he's backed up by Honor Blackman and Richard Briers, you're up for levels of ridiculousness you never thought you'd witness, and it's worth it.

The special effects ain't half bad, I've seen many worse attempts taking themselves way more serious, and I've seen comedies with less laughs. Give it a go, by all means!

Quite why anyone thought that the movie-going public needed another low budget zombie-themed comedy I don't know, but that is exactly what we have with 2012's Cockneys vs. Zombies, a simplistic and intermittently funny film, albeit one that is so derivative of other, far better efforts that it's chiefly memorable for so often drawing attention to its own pointlessness. It's a cliché already, given the numerous references made in the other reviews posted here, but it really does feel as though someone took a look at Shaun of the Dead and Snatch and thought 'I know, a film mashing these two hits up would make a ton of cash!', and set about doing just that. It is an unfocused film, at its most bearable when it is directly ripping off it's 'inspirations', though there is nothing here to match the inspired verbal sparring in Guy Ritchie's gangland corkscrew thrillers or the relentless in-jokes of the Simon Pegg-starring 'zom-rom-com'. With its protagonists a group of novice bank robbers, the film is able to both focus on the supposedly fertile ground of East London's criminal element, and at the same time, heavily arm them in readiness for the zombie attacks that dominate the second half of the movie. There are a couple of standout bits of black comedy that give you a jolt because they are in such bad taste (the zombie baby, for instance), but these are offset with far too many other scenes which descend into tedious melodrama. As to the cast, they are largely ineffectual, and quite what potential Richard Briers, one of our most respected actors, saw in either the film or his part is unclear; his doddering old duffer barely makes an impression and his one supposedly hilarious comic set-piece falls flat because it is so poorly paced (perhaps he thought that since his old Ever Decreasing Circles co-star Penelope Wilton turned up in Shaun, he had to do something similar?). Snatch's Alan Ford is clearly the 'marquee' actor in the film, as his screen persona pretty much personifies the vision of East London the movie is supposedly built around; however, despite Ford swearing in his distinctive accent, there really isn't anything else to bed the story into East London at all – it could just as easily have been called 'Scousers vs. Zombies' and been set on the Wirral with Ricky Tomlinson in Ford's role. Whilst definitely a charismatic and screen-dominating figure (and nobody else in the film has half as much to do), Ford is such a one-note actor that he makes Ray Winstone look like Alec Guinness by comparison. Honor Blackman also barely registers, whilst former Eastender Michelle Ryan's entire tedious performance and appearance (would-be bad-ass putting wimpy males to shame) are just ripping-off the genuinely talented Emma Stone's turn in the infinitely superior US effort Zombieland. Don't bother, really.

Old people vs. Zombies, now that's a twist for ya.

My favorite part of the movie was the beginning. It reminded me of Return of the living dead, which is one of my favorite movies ever. It's rare to get an origin story of where the Zombies come from.

Ray Macguiren was a cool character. An old army vet a bit angry at the world who gets back in the battle by saving his fellow senior citizens from the zombie infestation. One cool concept was Mental Mickey, a deranged war vet who has a metal plate in his head so when he turns into a Zombie you can kill him like the rule book tells you to.

Overall the movie was pretty funny and enjoyable. Glad I watched it. It's not Shawn of the Dead, but the Brits made another great Zombie flick.

First, it's a movie about zombies and it's English, so don't go in expecting some grandiose academy award winners. What we have is a film that is meant to be watched and enjoyed. It's purpose is to entertain us with zombies, gore, and the best type of dry Brit humor one can find. A job it accomplishes rather nicely.

It never takes itself seriously but doesn't go full on to cheeky parody mode either. I have to agree that like Shaun of the Dead or Tucker & DAle Vs Evil, this one has successfully blended a great comedy with a good horror flick. though I'll warn it's more about the good gore one finds rather than scares.

By far the strongest actor would be Alan Ford who fills the character role of "Grandad" brilliantly as the cantankerous grandfather of the two leads and the caretaker of an old folks home. He has some of the best lines- most of which you simply don't expect or at least won't know what the heck is gonna be said next. right from the get go with opening credits you have the idea it's gonna be a fun, somewhat satirical ride and indeed it is. In all, the plot isn't that much of a stretch(it's zombies) but the actors and director make it work. it has a decent music score too. after viewing it may not be in some horror fan's top fav list, but it will certainly not disappoint. (also if you like crass British slang you'll like this movie)

What a stupid film... but I really liked it.

I knew it was a comedy, but I was not expecting it to be this amusing.

The film is exactly what you would expect from the title... Londoners trying to escape a zombie plague from the East End.

There are some really great scenes in it... and the characters cockney accents really makes the comedy stand out more. It makes it more funny.

There are a couple of famous faces in the cast list. Our home born, Michelle Ryan plays one of the main characters. Michelle has had an interesting career so far. She started off in that rubbish soap opera, Eastenders... then she did a couple more TV shows before moving to America where she played the Bionic Woman... now she is back making more TV shows and movies here. This film also has former Bond girl, Pussy Galore... Honor Blackman.

The acting was not particularly great in this film, but that is a good thing when it comes to a movie like this. If the acting was good, then it would not have been as funny. This film does not take itself too seriously which I really like. It makes fun of itself in that they know that the way cockneys talk, their language, is funny and they use that to their advantage to get the laughs.

There is a character in the film that I love... he was my favourite character. But as with most awesome characters, he was only in it for a little while. He was not one of the main cast members. There is an old guy that always talks in cockney rhyming slang... but he seems to get it wrong every time. But when he is questioned about it, he can make everything rhyme. It is funnier than I just made it sound. You will have to see it to understand. haha

There are a few people I know that have seen this and they didn't like it. They thought it was too stupid and not funny... but then, they admitted to not understanding their accents in the film. I understand why people wouldn't like it... the budget looked very cheap on it. It had a b-move feel to it. In some scenes, it made me feel like I was watching a cheesy 80s horror film. Again though, i like those movies. So, if you are thinking you are going to see a comedy with lost of gore, you are! But the gore is not necessarily realistic. :)

I will give this film 7 out of 10.

I will leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the film:

"Those things are vampires! We need crucifixes, garlic, silver, holy water, and Christopher Lee!"

"No, you sloppy tart, those things are f*****g zombies!"

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Not much to say. The dialog is terrible, one or two good jokes, special fx are dreadful, and the storyline is so dull you'll be bored 20mns into the film. Tries really hard to be guy ritchie but fails miserably. You can tell the budget was pretty tight (they couldn't afford blanks so the actors shake their guns when they "fire"-and half the film is firefights because they probably didn't figure out another way to fill up the screen time), CG is so bad it jumps right at your face. I've seen better make ups at zombie walks, and some of the worst parts of acting are cringe-worthy (especially during the final scene where Alan Ford makes a total fool of himself). Generally unconvincing and half assed, some parts almost feel like the director himself is bored to death and is the rushing the job to end it quickly. Bad B movie at best, but not in the good way. To be avoided, unless you enjoy being bored.

COCKNEYS VS ZOMBIES is one of those films that's perfectly encapsulated by a "what it says on the tin" type title. A bunch of Cockney no-gooders find themselves caught up in a zombie epidemic, and the rest of the film plays out exactly how you'd expect, whether you've seen the trailer or not.

Despite the predictability, though, and let's make it clear - COCKNEYS VS ZOMBIES breaks no new ground whatsoever - this proves to be an entertaining movie, with solid production values, a game cast and fast pacing. Yes, the script is as dunderheaded and profane as you'd expect, and the young characters are stereotypically dull (aside from eye candy Michelle Ryan), but where the film really has fun is with the old-age cast members.

The scene stealer is without a doubt Alan Ford, delivering another of his delightfully sweary turns a la SNATCH, and proving himself an able fighter when it comes to tackling the undead menace. There are strong turns, too, from Honor Blackman, Tony Selby, Dudley Sutton, Georgina Hale and the late Richard Briers, for whom the film provides a fitting epitaph. The scene with Briers and a zimmer frame, heavily featured in the trailers, is an undoubted highlight.

Along with the old-timers, we're treated to all manner of zombie carnage, with plenty of gory effects and violent mayhem en route. The zombie scenes outdo those in B-movie fare such as FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD, while the comedy makes this preferable to the overrated SHAUN OF THE DEAD. No classic, perhaps, but certainly a lot of fun.

Unlikely lad siblings with some help rob a bank only to find that London has been overrun by flesh eating zombies. As things go awry the brothers and their cousin set about to rescue their Grandfather trapped in an O.A.P's home.

For those familiar with the sub-genre there's some nice touches including the removed jaws of the dead stuck in a mans arm, a metal plate in a head preventing the undead being shot which cheekily play on the 'rules'. Although some CGI effects and gags falling short of the mark on occasion Cockneys vs Zombies is a fun ride from director/writer Matthias Hoene.

The Michelle Ryan's Katy has some of the best quips, Ryan has a good presence and steals the action scenes with Terry played by Rasmus Hardiker giving a memorable quirky Mickey Pearce-like (of Only Fools and Horses) performance. Ageing Alan Ford as Ray, Georgina Hale and Dudley Sutton are spot on while delightful veteran's Honor Blackman and Richard Briers (who has since passed away) don't seem to be as having as much fun on screen as the aforementioned. The supporting cast are great with a few familiar UK faces showing up.

When Cockney' is on form it's highly amusing. Sutton's Eric announcing "Those things are Vampires!" With a title that includes 'versus' you know what you're in for and to Hoene's credit it meets expectations- it's well made for the budget, in vain of Shaun of the Dead rather than a cheap rip off 'versus' film. Time, effort and thought went in to this and is on the screen to see.

James Moran and Lucas Roche's screenplay has some laugh-out memorable dialogue. Debatably some of the soundtrack songs seem misplaced but other than that and small faults aside it does what it says on the tin - and you can't say fairer than that.

I can't say I expected this to be that good but I did expect to enjoy it more than I did. British zombie flick that will obviously draw comparisons to Shaun of the Dead (and to which it can't even compete with). There were some good ideas thrown around but I didn't really find it to be that funny at all. The two brothers and the grandpa are likable enough but I honestly just don't care about any of the characters. There is some cool gore but nothing that hasn't been done before. In my opinion, this was just a stereotypical zombie flick that attempted to add in some original ideas but was executed pretty poorly. For some reason the style and (attempted) comedy of this movie reminded me of 30 Minutes Or Less, which I also gave a 3/10...

Score: 3/10 Watch again?: Nope

The title says it all, you will have some heavy Cockney accents and you will have zombies. Does it work? I was afraid because seen the failure Strippers vs Werewolves (2012) I thought it was going to be the same. Luckily it wasn't. The gore was in tact this time.

The story is very simple. Some friends do want to rob a bank. By doing so they have one problem, while robbing the bank London is becoming infested by zombies. They have to fight against them and save granddad.

Was it funny? Well, I never laughed it out loud but it do has a few funny situations. When robbing the bank they had to put on some disguise. Doing it with moustaches and having girls involved it do delivers a few notable scene's. Not only that. Once at the care home one had to run away from a zombie. You must see it to believe it.

The fun was in tact but also the gore. Intestines and blood is flying around and the arm situation with the zombie was hilarious but also gory. Towards the end the end fight takes a bit too long but still, it all worked out fine

A nice entry in the genre but for people having trouble to understand Cockney's it will offer some trouble. There weren't any subs available.

And for the Cockney lovers Hodges and Peacock deliver one song Head To Head (with the undead). If that doesn't ring a bell they were used to be billed as Chas 'n' Dave. Legendary for a 40 year career but broke up in 2009 after the death of Peacock's wife but in 2011 they were back.

Gore 2,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 4/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 1,5/5

What caught my attention to this movie, aside from being a zombie movie of course, was the text brandished on the front of the cover: "a mad rollicking mash of Shaun of the Dead and Lock Stock". Well... That statement turned out to be true to a certain extend.

While funny, this movie was actually nowhere near the level of "Shaun of the Dead". There were some great enough moments in the movie, but hardly any that will cause you to laugh out loud. The comedy in the dialogue was good though, but visually there wasn't all that much comedy to the movie.

One thing that the movie did have working for it was the amounts of gore. Although not soaked in it or over-done, then they made good use of enough gore to keep most zombie aficionado and gore-hounds interested. And the effects in the movie were working out quite well enough too.

Another thing that the movie had working for it in its favor was the comedy. There is just something wonderfully absurd to that unique British humor. You got to love that.

Story-wise, then the movie was original, but not as funny as "Shaun of the Dead". It was a great idea to include a group of elderly people in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, because that did add a whole different flavor to the movie that what we're used to in zombie movies.

As for the people cast for the various roles, well then it was refreshing to see a heap of new faces, and a couple of familiar ones as well in a movie like this. And people actually did good enough jobs with their roles and in bringing their characters to life on the screen.

"Cockneys vs Zombies" is a nice enough addition to any zombie aficionado's DVD collection. However, for me personally, then this isn't particularly a movie that I have any plans to make a second watching of, it just didn't have that impact on me.

In London's East End, an excavation uncovers a 17th century crypt. Long story short, zombies are released and quickly multiply by attacking people, as they are wont to do. Meanwhile, two brothers and their sexy cousin (Michelle Ryan) assemble a gang to rob a bank to get enough money to prevent their grandfather's retirement home from being demolished. The bank robbery goes wrong but before they can be arrested, the zombies attack. The group tries to make it to the retirement home, where their grandfather and the other residents are already trying to fight off the zombies.

Worth a few laughs here and there. Ryan is the standout of the younger cast. The oldsters, among them former Bond girl Honor Blackman, pretty much steal the show. Give it a shot. Helps if you haven't seen plenty of horror comedies before.

The trailer for this movie actually represents what you get very, very well. Quite a bit of gore and funny moments. In fact, I thought that I would find it less funny than I did. There is some really witty writing here.

However, what already bothered me in the trailer really did not sit well with me in the movie too. Namely when the writing goes from witty to dim-witted. Mostly because of those one-liners. Although even some of the serious dialog seems just too unnatural and clichéd.

Also, for my taste, there is a little bit too much cutting to a certain location where people are stuck. There is nothing going on aside from some of the pretty awful dialog I just referred to.

A minor complaint, since there is still plenty of gory action going on, would be that there are some scenes in which gore spatters from off-screen where I would have preferred to see the action on-screen.

In the end, it is about a fun, gory ride and "Cockneys vs Zombies" sure delivers when it comes to that. However, productions such as "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" or "Shaun of the Dead" have demonstrated that one doesn't have to rely on formulaic dialog and one-liners so heavily in order to create a fun splatter film that is actually fun.

I enjoyed certain parts of this movie but it's as ridiculous as it sounds. That's cool and all but it's not as funny as it should be. Maybe it's because I'm not British and my humor isn't quite the same. It does have it's moments though such as when the like 83 year old with a walker was running away from the zombie. If you like zombies I guess give it a shot but it's like a much worse Shaun of the Dead.