User Reviews

In interviews Will Ryder (the director and semi-genius behind X-play videos) talks about his projects like they were genuine Hollywood movies. Yes, they are definitely a cut above your normal porn pap and the production values are good but they are NOT real movies. Maybe that is the problem. First off, I never found any of these parodies laugh out loud funny as many have. Amusing, yes. Funny, no. Secondly, Will talks of casting like he has Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp and Scarlet Johanssen but I never found the acting particularly great or believable. You see,Will Ryder seems to think he is making real movies. Well,they do frustrate like many real movies do, and like David Lynch, (in Twin Peaks) Will seems to have forsaken his audience. Well, at least in the two most recent projects. He did this by the all too familiar trend of having beautiful girls NOT get naked. This is one of my biggest pet peeves (and frustrations) in modern porn. This inane trend of CFNM must die! And preferably die at the hands of a chainsaw wielding maniac! In NOT MARRIED WITH CHILDREN XXX Will completely ruins the best scene-what could have been a great group scene between three girls and a guy turns out to be 2 girls topless watching a guy and a girl. BALLS! I say! BALLS! Doesn't help that the two topless girls were the outrageously cute Emy Reyes and Alyssa Hall! ARGGGGGGGG!!! In NOT THE COSBYS XXX Will commits an even bigger crime: 2 of the main characters don't even get naked! In the Behind The Scenes footage we are teased with a promise of a sequel that has yet to materialize. This is worse than blue balls; this is outright mental whiplash! Seriously, a letter to all porn directors: having beautiful women in your films NOT (at least) get naked defeats the entire purpose of porn for most of your audience. This whole-let's-spend-15-minutes-at-a-time-on-dick- sucking-while-the-women-stay-clothed- is not only borderline homosexual but for people like me it is TORTURE! This especially goes out to your Eromaxx, Mofos, and VIP Parties, but it also applies to 3rd Degree and their TMSleaze (holy cats what missed opportunities for great group sex scenes!) and to X-Play. I just hope Will, you don't ruin the NOT SAVED BY THE BELL project.Hopeful but skeptical.

One thing I still don't get about Will Ryder's series of sit-porn is the meaning of the title. Because although the characters are obviously not the same characters as those from The Cosby Show (who were called the Huxtables and not the Cosbys anyway), they do share the exact same first names, the way of dress and the same character traits. I mean it used to be half the fun of these adult features to find out how familiar television characters were renamed (like when Norm Peterson from Cheers became Enormous Peterson in Smeers). But apparently times have changed.

This particular film has been drawing attention on the web with some very funny trailers and behind the scenes interviews. Star of these promotional pieces is without a doubt Thomas Ward who like most African American comedians does a brilliant impersonation of Bill Cosby. However unlike most of them, he also looks almost exactly like the Cos. Though he doesn't participate in any of the sex scenes, his version of Cliff really raises this particular porno several notches above the slew of similarly themed sitcom parodies.

The aforementioned trailer was for the most part a recreation of the opening credits of the Cosby Show, and served to introduce all the members of the Huxtable family: five women (all of whom are over 18 in this version) and two men. Perfect for porn one would think. Well, not quite. Unlike Will Ryder's two Not the Bradys efforts, this movie never gets round to featuring every one of the girls in the opening sequence. In effect, the trailer inadvertently makes a couple of promises the film does not deliver: neither Cassidy Clay as Sondra nor Nina Devon as Rudy ever take their clothes off (although the did for promotional material on the official website). I guess the filmmakers were obliged to focus on interracial sex and ended up including a lot more Caucasian females rather than featuring all of the main cast.

It actually takes over an hour before any of the Cos- I mean Not the Huxtable girls gets any sex at all. The main story revolves around Denise (Misty Stone) contemplating whether she should go all the way with her boyfriend Malik (Dick James). Sondra immediately advices against it (no wonder she never gets it on in this film) and her father is no help at all: he tells her to ask her brother Theo (Tyler Knight) for advice. So, Denise goes upstairs to play with herself instead (that's got the unavoidable solo girl scene out of the way in the first half hour). Next Denise and Malik go to a slumber party where there are a lot of horny white chicks in skimpy sleepwear. This shocks straight laced Denise, who leaves Malik to have his way with several of the unnamed characters. A bit later, Theo and Cockroach (Tee Reel) crash the party for more Caucasian booty.

It takes almost 80 minutes before the first of the female family member to finally gets it on and it's Monica Foster as Claire - in a flashback to her college days in the Sixties. Just when I was getting used to the garish Eighties sweaters everybody had been wearing up till that point, the scene changes into a colorful sixties pastiche similar to Will Ryder's Bradys films. Seems he couldn't resist using the same old props again. It also goes to prove once more that porn writers in this millennium have become so politically correct that they go to great lengths to come up with a way for Claire to have sex with someone besides Cliff without cheating on him. Also, apart from Misty Stone who did her solo act at the start and 'loses her virginity' at the end, none of the actors get to participate in more than one sex scene. For instance, only Theo got it on in the second slumber party segment, leaving Cockroach to get down and dirty with Vanessa (Melody Nakai) a bit later instead.

Denise, having dumped Malik, ends up getting it on with a white dude (Scott Lyons) who wears a Rubik's cube T-shirt and looks about 35 while the rest of the family are off to see Cats on Broadway. Obviously this XXX desperately needs a sequel, one that gives equal time to Sondra and Rudy (hopefully still played by Casidy and Nina) and a naughty scene for Claire in full eighties make-up and hair to make up for those lacking in this one. Luckily the special features on the DVD hint that two features were being shot at once and both Nina Devon & Cassidy Clay talk about shooting hot scenes, so two out of three are confirmed. Here's hoping it'll be released soon.

6 out of 10