"Verloren auf Borneo", which means "Lost in/on (nor sure) Borneo" is a German television film from 2012, so not that long anymore until it has its tenth anniversary. The title they used is not good at all because there is not really anybody lost, at least not physically/geographically, but I guess they went for it because it is easy to remember. The alternative the had, "Schlaflos im Dschungel", is not any better, maybe even worse because there is nobody sleepless either. So you see they failed already in terms of picking a decent title for this film, so how can anybody expect that the film itself could be any good. It definitely isn't. This does not surprise me at all because director Baumann and writer Kus have worked on several projects that were not a success by any definition, with the director being the more prolific from the duo and as a consequence also the one with more disappointments in his body of work. As for the cast, you will find familiar names here. Hannes Jaenicke is an actor who is always easy to identify for people who have an interest in German movies. Sadly, despitehis recognition value, his body of work is nothing to be proud of either. There are many films like this one. His co-lead here is Austrian actress Mirjam Weichselbraun and she has been in considerably fewer movies. This has to do with the fact that she is 20 years younger, but also with the fact that she is more of a mix between starless and host than really a dedicated actress. That is alright because her range is certainly nothing to be proud of. Same is true for her role selection I guess if she accepts to star in films like this one we have here. The only supporting player I want to mention is Michael Fitz, who also has appeared in many low quality movies like the one at hand, even more than Jaenicke. Still I must say that he surprised me in a positive fashion here. Maybe it is just because of his likable character, but I thought that he perhaps gave the best performance from the bunch, admittedly not a huge challenger as most performances here are utterly forgettable and that is quite a nice way to express it. Surely, the cript is not doing them any favors, but then again they did not have to appear in this movie. Nobody forced them. Many actors here are also Asian because of the film's location, but with the exception of the main antagonist, not one of them really has the material in terms of both quantity and quality to make an impact.
The one thing I liked the movie is the inclusion of environmental subjects like the deforestation of the rain forest. I mean it it sure feels shoddy and for the sake of it, but it's still better than as if this had not been a subject at all here. And honestly these moments with the (first) ape they save (or she saves, I should say) where pretty touching as he keeps holding on to her. Then again, even these slightly emotional moments they ruin quickly through poor writing because of course, they knew quickly afterwards where the ape's mother is and they have to free her too. What a coincidence honestly in such a large country, such a large rain forest that mother and son are both a factor in this film. There is a lot more that sucked in this movie. It already starts in a ridiculous manner with how the female protagonist is about to save a child that is about to drown. Aside from the fact that the child actress clearly was able to swim and it was easy to see, this rescue is already more than 99,9% of people will experience in all holidays from their lifetimes, but here it is just the beginning. As unrealistic as it gets and I could hardly think of a weaker fashion to depict that behind all her make-up and expensive clothing, Weichselbraun's character is a woman of action. They were even shameless enough to make a reference to said beginning later on then the girl's mother finds the humble (of course!) savior. Things stay worse. The first meeting between the two main characters is also tough to stomach with the (not so) subtle manner with which they show us Jaenicke's character is a ladies man with the kiss he gets and also how Weichselbraun's character is constantly annoyed by him. But it got really worse when he said something like she needs sex to loosen up. I am not even thinking of a sexist perspective, but I guess in a new film they probably would not get away with a statement like this in the age of #metoo. But I am just talking about the cringe that came with it and there is another moment later on when she says something like he will never grab her boobs. Yep, that really happened. Can't make uup stuff like that. And his response to himself (and the audience) is something like "we shall see". Again, they did not realize how much failure was in that scene and really they have her have him grab her boob eventually spiced up with a comment to make things even worse that all about her is natural or real. They use this quote for a chain or something like that in the end.
Then there are these strange ways in which she (at the end ith him) breaks into facilities to find evidence that the bad guys committed a crime. That totally came out of nowhere. And don't even get me started about how obviously the female protagonist's husband collaborates closely with the evil fellow. The latter one is not scared of killing environmentalists if they get in his way. I must admit the severed hand scene/reference was definitely more than I expected. Normally the good guys do not die in films like that, even if it is only implied. Anyway, the bad guy also says something about how stunning Weichselbraun's character is and her husband also wants to stay with her 100%, so this is business as usual. Please do not mistake this film for a movie that is about a strong female protagonist. Basically everything about her feels fake, no matter how often she says the opposite is the case. There were many pseudo dramatic inclusions that were utterly cringeworthy. One great example is her sickness and how quickly she recovered from that completely and continues her life-changing mission 100%. Or the sob story about the kid with leukemia and the teddy bear. Oh my... But it is also the small moments and quotes that suck here, not just the big picture. Like there is one scene when she is about to get up and says something like "the cleaning lady won't come until 10, so let me sleep", a not so smart reference back to her life as a "princess". And of course there is also the staged drama at the end with the two main characters having a big argument and we are supposed to think "oh no, they will never get together", but of course minutes later they do in what is the most rushed forced happy ending I have seen in quite a while. I mean it was not even unrealistic that they get together, but the whole fight sequence before that felt so scripted and fake that the final reunion was also quite a bummer. Interestingly enough, the one who kissed him early on was never mentioned again in this movie, like if he was in a relationship or so. Anyway, the bad guy of course gets his fair share too as he has to respond to the German embassy. The woman who played the ambassador was actually a really bad actress too. One horrible scene/line and she made it sound even worse. Tough to imagine she is really in the position to cause trouble to the villain. I'm pretty sure five years later nothing will have changed. Okay, that should be all then I guess. The letters you read on the screen (not the closing credits) at the very end were fine too with the message, but it is still an incredibly shallow movie and definitely enters failure territory on many occasions. Pity. The subject would have deserved better, but hey at least they did not make a sequel. You can see already from the photohere on imdb basically that this is just another stupid romance film, slightly more dramatic than usual in terms of German television movie, but the outcome is just as disappointing. I'm sure there were many other weak moments included in here that I already forgot about, but that is fine I suppose and I hope I can forget about the film as a whole as well as soon as possible. My suggestion is that you should really skip the watch here and go for a documentary instead if you are curious about the subject and island where this is set.
The one thing I liked the movie is the inclusion of environmental subjects like the deforestation of the rain forest. I mean it it sure feels shoddy and for the sake of it, but it's still better than as if this had not been a subject at all here. And honestly these moments with the (first) ape they save (or she saves, I should say) where pretty touching as he keeps holding on to her. Then again, even these slightly emotional moments they ruin quickly through poor writing because of course, they knew quickly afterwards where the ape's mother is and they have to free her too. What a coincidence honestly in such a large country, such a large rain forest that mother and son are both a factor in this film. There is a lot more that sucked in this movie. It already starts in a ridiculous manner with how the female protagonist is about to save a child that is about to drown. Aside from the fact that the child actress clearly was able to swim and it was easy to see, this rescue is already more than 99,9% of people will experience in all holidays from their lifetimes, but here it is just the beginning. As unrealistic as it gets and I could hardly think of a weaker fashion to depict that behind all her make-up and expensive clothing, Weichselbraun's character is a woman of action. They were even shameless enough to make a reference to said beginning later on then the girl's mother finds the humble (of course!) savior. Things stay worse. The first meeting between the two main characters is also tough to stomach with the (not so) subtle manner with which they show us Jaenicke's character is a ladies man with the kiss he gets and also how Weichselbraun's character is constantly annoyed by him. But it got really worse when he said something like she needs sex to loosen up. I am not even thinking of a sexist perspective, but I guess in a new film they probably would not get away with a statement like this in the age of #metoo. But I am just talking about the cringe that came with it and there is another moment later on when she says something like he will never grab her boobs. Yep, that really happened. Can't make uup stuff like that. And his response to himself (and the audience) is something like "we shall see". Again, they did not realize how much failure was in that scene and really they have her have him grab her boob eventually spiced up with a comment to make things even worse that all about her is natural or real. They use this quote for a chain or something like that in the end.
Then there are these strange ways in which she (at the end ith him) breaks into facilities to find evidence that the bad guys committed a crime. That totally came out of nowhere. And don't even get me started about how obviously the female protagonist's husband collaborates closely with the evil fellow. The latter one is not scared of killing environmentalists if they get in his way. I must admit the severed hand scene/reference was definitely more than I expected. Normally the good guys do not die in films like that, even if it is only implied. Anyway, the bad guy also says something about how stunning Weichselbraun's character is and her husband also wants to stay with her 100%, so this is business as usual. Please do not mistake this film for a movie that is about a strong female protagonist. Basically everything about her feels fake, no matter how often she says the opposite is the case. There were many pseudo dramatic inclusions that were utterly cringeworthy. One great example is her sickness and how quickly she recovered from that completely and continues her life-changing mission 100%. Or the sob story about the kid with leukemia and the teddy bear. Oh my... But it is also the small moments and quotes that suck here, not just the big picture. Like there is one scene when she is about to get up and says something like "the cleaning lady won't come until 10, so let me sleep", a not so smart reference back to her life as a "princess". And of course there is also the staged drama at the end with the two main characters having a big argument and we are supposed to think "oh no, they will never get together", but of course minutes later they do in what is the most rushed forced happy ending I have seen in quite a while. I mean it was not even unrealistic that they get together, but the whole fight sequence before that felt so scripted and fake that the final reunion was also quite a bummer. Interestingly enough, the one who kissed him early on was never mentioned again in this movie, like if he was in a relationship or so. Anyway, the bad guy of course gets his fair share too as he has to respond to the German embassy. The woman who played the ambassador was actually a really bad actress too. One horrible scene/line and she made it sound even worse. Tough to imagine she is really in the position to cause trouble to the villain. I'm pretty sure five years later nothing will have changed. Okay, that should be all then I guess. The letters you read on the screen (not the closing credits) at the very end were fine too with the message, but it is still an incredibly shallow movie and definitely enters failure territory on many occasions. Pity. The subject would have deserved better, but hey at least they did not make a sequel. You can see already from the photohere on imdb basically that this is just another stupid romance film, slightly more dramatic than usual in terms of German television movie, but the outcome is just as disappointing. I'm sure there were many other weak moments included in here that I already forgot about, but that is fine I suppose and I hope I can forget about the film as a whole as well as soon as possible. My suggestion is that you should really skip the watch here and go for a documentary instead if you are curious about the subject and island where this is set.
