User Reviews

I base my life upon The Pricemaster's teachings. And so should you!

The situation is so quotidian that his presence almost seems to skewer reality. Then comes in the music, which I cannot place. Is it human-made or has a vacuum clearer become sentient and struck out for a career in country music? Then again, is it music at all, or has Nietzsche's void sucked in the lyrics to that Skyrizi commercial? These and many more questions will never be answered because The Pricemaster does not tell. It is weird for the sake of being weird and that is what weird demands. You should watch this as your relatives come to visit you; they won't be staying for long. There's no harm in it. It's just half an hour of bizarre fun. I wish someone would purchase the rights to The Pricemaster and make a feature film with him as the star. He's the perfect weird hero. But they should choose a good script so as not to diminish The Pricemaster's unique qualities.

February 10th will never pass me by in anonymity, not again. He came to me when I needed him most, speaking his first phrase which shook me to my core: "17 THOUSAND DOLLARS". The first price, the first line of the true gospel rooted itself deep within my soul. What was I worth in the eyes of The Pricemaster himself? Since I first heard the true word of The Pricemaster, I find myself falling to my knees for his pious sermon every week, nay! Every day. What I wouldn't sacrifice for the chance at joining The Pricemaster in the eternal yard sale somewhere in the vast void of the ether. For now, I spread the gospel and live as The Pricemaster would want me to: Shambling along this mortal coil until the fated day that I finally step into The Pricemaster's domain: Saturday, December 10th 2001, Denton Texas.

Throughout my 38 years of existence as a physical being on this planet, I've often felt something substantial, dare I even say astronomically spiritual, missing that truly connected me with my experience on this plane. The Pricemaster was the missing link, and discovering this mystical sage has given me the connection I've always longed for. His wisdom, his insight, his enlightenment and his limitless understanding of the prices of used home goods has stricken me with absolute awe, throwing me to my knees, and finally connecting my soul to the vast and infinite cosmos in ways I could only imagine.