The title "2013 AVN Awards Show" is fairly telling here because it includes three informative aspects: 1) This is from the year 2013. 2) This is an awards show. 3) The focus is on adult films. So yeah, this is almost eight years old now, maybe over ten already depending on when you read this review of mine. I have seen many editions of this event now (most of them took place at the Hard Rock Hotel) and I must say that this one here is not among the best and also not among the worst. It was a special edition though because it was the 30th anniversary, which means this started back in 1983 and many of the performers weren't even born back then, especially the females, but as we learn Ron Jeremy was already working at that point. When his interviewer was not even a sperm. But first things first: The writer, director and producer is Gary Miller. This event is the center of this career pretty much. Has been for a while before this 2013 edition and he kept going for years afterwards too. I am not 100% sure if he still is. We will see with the upcoming 2021 edition. If there is one despite corona. But back to 2013 now. One criticism I have with basically every single one of those is that there is such a big gap between when this takes place and when it is on available to watch. Here the gap was also four months. Simply unacceptable for an awards show and highly disrespectful to everybody who was part of it. Not only the winners. It took place in mid-January and was shown in mid-May. If they need to change one thing about this show, then this would be it. It is sadly still the case nowadays. Alright, at under 80 minutes this was really one of the very shortest editions. From those I have seen, but also in general I guess. The more recent ones I watched (or am about to watch) and the older shows sometimes went for ages because they included long segments from the nominated movies as part of the show. Probably also for advertising purposes. Anyway, this 2013 broadcast at under 80 minutes also included over ten minutes of pre-show footage and interviews, so if we only count the event, then this was even shorter. Of course, the actual event went for considerably longer as they really cut a lot here. Some categories were left out, others were mentioned really briefly only with footage of the winner(s). Not so cool. The common formula with the AVN Awards is that they have three hosts, a comedian/actress/celebrity and two adult film actresses, and this was also the case with the 2013 edition. In general, I applaud females from outside the adult film industry who have the courage to host this event. So also thumbs-up for April Macie. I am a bit undecided though if I liked her. I mean her jokes were raunchy enough and it's good to see somebody hosting this event without being too shy, but sometimes I think she went over the top too much with her delivery. But she wasn't bad or anything. Just could have been better. I guess this applies 100% to everything linked to this event. Like I wrote in the title of my review, not good, but not terrible either. I've seen worse AVN ceremonies. One of the two co-hosts was Asa Akira, one of the most known Asian adult film starlets probably. Great night for her. She also won key categories. As for the music, they never struggle with getting in big-name artists. I mean Tyga is not 50 Cent, but he is famous enough to probably be the biggest name the show had to offer that night. Not my kind of music, but enjoyable enough overall I would say. Another act, pretty unexpected, was the Cirque du Soleil. Kinda surprised to see those fellas in honestly (I mean they are world famous), but the exact kind of performance really fit the occasion. If that was really art, is up to you to decide. The impressive acrobatics cannot be denied.
Alright, as for the winners and nominees, I cannot say too much. Gonna do some brainstorming now. Ron Jeremy. Yes, he is almost always there. Well, not anymore, but he sure still is an icon with all he has been in (no pun intended). Here he is called "everybody's favorite blow-up doll". But if we are talking #metoo and that already, I think the comment about naked men chasing (naked) women and the guy's genitals are wildly swinging around is probably not considered funny by as many today as it wwas back then. Which is kinda sad. Political correctness really sucks. Not that I found it too funny initially to be honest, but I will not find it unfunny now all of a sudden because society wants me to. Okay, already mentioned Akira doing fine. Parody movies were still a thing back then, this time with Star Wars and also super hero(ine) spoof films. One was called Buttwoman I think haha. I thought it could be linked to Batwoman, but honestly she looked more like Captain Marvel honestly. The amount of attractive females that night was alright. Bonnie Rotten I'd probably also have a soft spot for. Dani Daniels (anytime over Stormy) is one I have known and liked for years too, probably more back then than today. Allie Haze I would not say no to either. Riley Reid won really big a little later another year, but with several nominations in her early 20s she also had a bit of a breakthrough in 2013 in the industry. As for the guys, some familiar faces there. You can check out the cast list yourself if you want. Just a few examples. Jeremy I already mentioned, but Tommy Pistol, Lexington Steele, Mandingo, James Deen, Manuel Ferrara, Evan Stone and Steven St. Croix have been part of this event so many times one way or the other (even if they were just nominated and not seen) that it's easy to recognize them by now for sure. Speaking of Croix, Remy LaCroix is also a stunner. No doubt about it. Made up for me that my biggest favorite Sasha Grey was already out back in 2013 it seems. But new stunners were ready to take over. Too bad that tehy could also not really turn this into a rearding watch overall. I think I will give it a thumbs-down and if I reayll had to decide I would say it is closer to failure territory than to a good awards show. Pity. However, one positive aspect can be noted. The people announcing the winners here are also all from the adult film industry and this is how it should be compared to football players giving out awards at music ceremonies really. The sad thing is that here it is probably the case because they won't really get anybody else who is willing to this job. Still thumbs-up. Also for keeping this show essential. I mean they have to. They cannot simply have sex on stage and make this an hour longer. Just like they do with inclusing live performance on stage for music awards ceremonies. Which is not a good thing. Or at least not in terms of the quantity they do it there. So the AVNs are usually really essential and this was also the case for this 2013 show. Even more essential than usual. I already mentioned the brief running time we have here. That's all, folks. Oh well, let me add that the big prize that night went to a film called "Wasteland". Could also be the film of a non-adult movie right. It also won for actress, director, cinematography, editing and screenplay. Kinda curious now because Carter is also not unattractive. Oh well, probably I would be disappointed. The acting I saw here when they showed scenes from the nominated movies did not seem great honestly. Gently-speaking already. And I will never get used to these forced sensual kisses beteen females in the audience when the camera is on them. Now I will really stop. That is it.
Alright, as for the winners and nominees, I cannot say too much. Gonna do some brainstorming now. Ron Jeremy. Yes, he is almost always there. Well, not anymore, but he sure still is an icon with all he has been in (no pun intended). Here he is called "everybody's favorite blow-up doll". But if we are talking #metoo and that already, I think the comment about naked men chasing (naked) women and the guy's genitals are wildly swinging around is probably not considered funny by as many today as it wwas back then. Which is kinda sad. Political correctness really sucks. Not that I found it too funny initially to be honest, but I will not find it unfunny now all of a sudden because society wants me to. Okay, already mentioned Akira doing fine. Parody movies were still a thing back then, this time with Star Wars and also super hero(ine) spoof films. One was called Buttwoman I think haha. I thought it could be linked to Batwoman, but honestly she looked more like Captain Marvel honestly. The amount of attractive females that night was alright. Bonnie Rotten I'd probably also have a soft spot for. Dani Daniels (anytime over Stormy) is one I have known and liked for years too, probably more back then than today. Allie Haze I would not say no to either. Riley Reid won really big a little later another year, but with several nominations in her early 20s she also had a bit of a breakthrough in 2013 in the industry. As for the guys, some familiar faces there. You can check out the cast list yourself if you want. Just a few examples. Jeremy I already mentioned, but Tommy Pistol, Lexington Steele, Mandingo, James Deen, Manuel Ferrara, Evan Stone and Steven St. Croix have been part of this event so many times one way or the other (even if they were just nominated and not seen) that it's easy to recognize them by now for sure. Speaking of Croix, Remy LaCroix is also a stunner. No doubt about it. Made up for me that my biggest favorite Sasha Grey was already out back in 2013 it seems. But new stunners were ready to take over. Too bad that tehy could also not really turn this into a rearding watch overall. I think I will give it a thumbs-down and if I reayll had to decide I would say it is closer to failure territory than to a good awards show. Pity. However, one positive aspect can be noted. The people announcing the winners here are also all from the adult film industry and this is how it should be compared to football players giving out awards at music ceremonies really. The sad thing is that here it is probably the case because they won't really get anybody else who is willing to this job. Still thumbs-up. Also for keeping this show essential. I mean they have to. They cannot simply have sex on stage and make this an hour longer. Just like they do with inclusing live performance on stage for music awards ceremonies. Which is not a good thing. Or at least not in terms of the quantity they do it there. So the AVNs are usually really essential and this was also the case for this 2013 show. Even more essential than usual. I already mentioned the brief running time we have here. That's all, folks. Oh well, let me add that the big prize that night went to a film called "Wasteland". Could also be the film of a non-adult movie right. It also won for actress, director, cinematography, editing and screenplay. Kinda curious now because Carter is also not unattractive. Oh well, probably I would be disappointed. The acting I saw here when they showed scenes from the nominated movies did not seem great honestly. Gently-speaking already. And I will never get used to these forced sensual kisses beteen females in the audience when the camera is on them. Now I will really stop. That is it.