User Reviews

Paul Crouch Jr., who directed this - which seems like "point and shoot" as it gets - was a Praise the Lord host from 2005 to 2011, as well as doing second unit on The Omega Code and producing Trump 2024: The World After Trump, a movie that posits that without Trump running things, America will lose its freedoms and Judeo-Christian values. I assume that there's an asterisk that says something like "for white people" or somesuch there.

And if you're offended already, you can turn back now.

Sitting in front of a clock that never changes time, hosts Gary Greenwald (who used to have a show called The Eagle's Nest) and Phil Phillips take apart the growing consumerism that is facing kids. Of this I cannot deny, as even though I am a lifelong G.I. Joe fan, I've heard speeches from its creators proclaiming their "insidious plan" to use TV commericals, cartoons and comics to mass market to kids. Post-Star Wars, all manner of merchandising was made for nearly every movie and post-G.I. Joe, every toy had a multi-faceted marketing attack so that it became more than just a toy.

Phil was on a two week fast as part of a Christian retreat and decided to go to a Toys R Us. There, he found He-Man and realized that Satan was in the toybox. After all, Teela had a cobra-headed staff and the cobra is the symbol for all Satanic warriors, right?

Before our friends here get to Eternia, they spend plenty of time freaking out about the Vincent Price-starring The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo is all aboutthe vast occult conspiracy threating kids. That said, I totally was into every single scene they showed of this show, but they are kind of missing the point that Price's character, Vincent Van Ghoul, and the Scooby Gang* are out to protect the world from the evil inside the Chest of Demons.

Now, the He-Man these guys finally are worried about is the post-Filmation cartoon He-Man. Sure, there's magic and all, but in no way is the Masters of the Universe these guys are worried about as odd and, well, occult as the original comics, which show He-Man as a barely evolved caveman who comes across magical artifacts given to him by a sorceress who tells him that he must find the power to win Castle Greyskull, a skull-faced mountain. There's no cute Orko. There's just swords and steel and loincloths.

This is every sermon I heard throughout my childhood, every Christian radio show I ever listened to and every mimeographed warning from teachers about what bands worship the devil - mimeographed church and school warnings were the original internet conspiracy theories - all in one.

The Force from Star Wars is the same power that witches feel. Even better, because Yoda has only three fingers, that means "Satan is Lord." And even E.T. is just a cloaked reason for kids to get into eastern occult practices like yoga and meditation.

A lot of people wonder how our country got in the state that it's in, where Q-Anon suddenly became reality to so many people. The members of my family the fastest to start sharing memes and posts about Wayfair having children on their site are the very same ones that took vacations to Heritage U.S.A. before the secular world ever knew who Jim and Tammy Baker were and the very same folks who made me watch Little House on the Prarie when I visited instead of the Godzilla movies I knew were on another channel. They'd speak in tongues to you at the quickest drop of any hat and while I know their hearts were in the right place, people who so easily accept any story at face value scare me more than any occult meanings seen in children's toys.

Except Thundercats. I can 100% assure you that there's tons of Satanism in that show.

*The Scooby Gang being Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Scrappy-Doo and a Tibetian con artist named Flim Flam, who went to jail for his crimes, as we learned in Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated.