Reviews
Strange Days (1995)
What a piece of trash
For five minutes after the credits in this offensive piece of trash rolled I was ready to join the moral majority. Kathryn Bigelow achieves the near impossible: she makes Brian DePalma look like Merchant/Ivory. I'm not sure what Ralph Fiennes thought he was doing. Having turned in wonderful performances in "Schindler's List" and "Quiz Show" he decided to put on leather pants and blather on about Faith having a "cruise missile set on making it" and her voice lifting stuff up to heaven (was he listening?). I guess he was afraid of being typecast as a good actor. Apparently this movie means to be thought-provoking and provide some sort of comment about entertainment, the media, blah blah blah, but its ideas are left completely undeveloped. Because Ralph Fiennes writhes around in horror during the snuff scenes we're supposed to identify him as a good guy, and forget about him peddling tapes of people robbing liquor stores, having sex and terrorizing restaurant workers. This movie unfortunately doesn't have enough unintentionally funny scenes to make enduring all 2 hours and 25 minutes of it worthwhile, but the one where Ralph watches what he thinks is the murder of the woman he loves is great. My husband and I couldn't decide if he was drawing on the memory of a really bad case of indigestion or watching the previous day's rushes.
The Last Supper (1995)
Warning: may cause indigestion!
No wonder none of the characters succeed in convincing any of their guests to change their minds -- these people are so superficial and inarticulate they must surely be grad students in one of those degree-mills that advertises in the back of magazines. If Courtney B. Vance's character is a Ph.D. candidate in political science, how come he hasn't already figured out what Ron Perlman's character has to say about extremists and centrists? "You've never even had sex!" is supposed to deflate the argument of the teenager opposed to mandatory sex education? Of course, this is about as intelligent as the debates get. The rest of the time they just giggle when someone says something they don't like, or resort to infantile name-calling. The whole movie is a chore, but it has given me a good idea. What if a group of people started inviting over directors, screenwriters, producers and actors who made stupid movies that insult the viewer's intelligence, and murdering them???
Blue Velvet (1986)
It hasn't aged well
When this film was first released it garnered a tremendous amount of critical attention, but watching it now, thirteen years after its release and after "Twin Peaks" and (ugh!) "Wild at Heart," it is apparent that David Lynch's reputation rests on no more than a handful of ideas endlessly recycled. If only he had taken the trouble to fill up the holes in the plot this might be worth watching, but since "Blue Velvet" lost its power to shock or unsettle long ago it hasn't got much left to offer.
Lolita (1997)
Nicely photographed but . . .
It is commonplace to complain that films adapted from novels too often change the plot and eliminate and invent characters at will, leading readers/viewers to wonder what on earth the filmmakers saw in the book in the first place. This essentially by-the-book adaptation is good if all you want is to see the prose translated into images, and some might consider that Lyne's ability to be sexually explicit is an improvement over the ambiguity of Stanley Kubrick's film, but I found this film a disappointment. I liked Jeremy Irons' performance, and thought Dominique Swain was also very good, but Melanie Griffiths was miscast and (of course) no portrayal of Claire Quilty can compare with Peter Sellers's. Kubrick's film shows more artistry, creativity and genius
Stealing Beauty (1996)
Pathetic
I was foolish enough to pay money to see this in a movie theatre, along with perhaps two dozen other people, and I think I can safely say that NOBODY liked it. I haven't seen so many people walk out of a theatre since . . . well, it was a long time ago. Those who remained (like me) finally gave up trying to take this crap seriously and just laughed at Bertolucci's pretensions, and cringed when he indulged his sad middle-aged man's masturbation fantasies and we had to witness the spectacularly untalented Liv Tyler lose her virginity in EXCRUCIATING detail. Recommended only for those people who can't quite bring themselves to rent more honest pornography.
Escape from Alcatraz (1979)
Manipulative and dull
Clint may be at his best in this film, but that isn't saying much.
Not only was the film remarkably unexciting given its subject matter, but it didn't even trouble itself to develop convincing characters: sadistic warden, sensitive nervous guy, sociopath, blah blah blah. What I particularly hated was the way they cleverly only fleshed out -- well, sort of -- the characters of the convicts you could easily sympathize with, like the black guy, the car thief, the nice old guy who likes to paint or the one with the mouse.
Swimming with Sharks (1994)
Kevin Spacey is terrific, but . . .
This movie is worth seeing just for Kevin Spacey's wonderfully nasty performance, but the improbable and unbelievable romantic relationship between Guy and Dawn undermines the whole thing.
East of Eden (1955)
Brilliant novel - tedious film
I am amazed that anyone can enjoy watching this movie: the first time I rented it I ended up turning it off after forty minutes because I found it so tedious. I rented it again after reading and loving the novel, which probably only made watching the movie that much more difficult. With the exception of "On the Waterfront," I have yet to see a Kazan movie that didn't bore me!
Return of the Secaucus Seven (1980)
The best part of the movie is when you turn it off!
Are there really 30 people in the world who think this appallingly acted film is a 10? Are they allowed to vote and drive cars? John Sayles has written and directed some of my favourite movies, but his head must have been in the toilet (along with that plunger in the tedious first scene) for this one.
The Godfather Part III (1990)
Ugh
The Godfather Part III is so bad you'd think James Cameron directed it.