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LordXenu
Reviews
The Corporation (2003)
Intelligent, mostly balanced, but overlong and plodding
The premise of this Canadian documentary, directed by Mark Achbar (Manufacturing Consent), can be summed up thus: According to the judicial interpretation of the Fourteenth Amendment of the American Constitution, a corporation is a person. But what kind of person is it? Given its disregard for the law, endangerment of life and environment, and refusal to accept responsibility for its actions, the producers conclude that the corporation matches the symptoms found in the DSM-IV for psychopathy.
The Corporation scores a few good points: corporate arrogance, multinational corporations operating outside the law, exploitation of Third World and child labour, the pervasiveness of advertising, patents on life forms and even human genome information, the selling of "terminator seeds" that prevent farmers from saving seed from season to season, and privatization of the water supply. Specially singled out for special attention is Monsanto, which has brought us such fine products as Bovine Growth Hormone (BGH), genetically modified wheat, and Agent Orange.
On the other hand, the overall tone of the documentary is anti-corporation and anti-capitalist. A lengthy segment discusses the suppression by Fox News of an investigative report on Monsanto and rBGH produced by Steve Wilson and Jane Akre. While focusing on Fox's cover-up of a story that was in the public interest to report because it would affect their bottom line, the producers overlook the fact that Wilson and Akre were able to sue the same corporate entity for dismissing them in retaliation. Similarly, "Big Tobacco" could not be sued, nor could polluting oil companies be prosecuted, if it were not for the same legal standing that is the subject of this documentary's criticism. Focusing on the cons while ignoring the pros is unbalanced. A short sequence about Arcata, California's drive to ban chain restaurants from the city also appears to paint even small business owners unsympathetically. While criticizing private ownership and capitalism, the filmmakers fail to make a strong case for any alternatives, apart from some well-placed remarks about government regulation and operation of essential services, such as the water supply or firefighting.
Something like 40 different talking heads appear in this film to give their opinion: CEOs, lawyers, activists, economists, and others. Two people get significantly more "face time" than others. The first of these is linguist-turned-activist Noam Chomsky - not surprising, since he was the subject of Manufacturing Consent, the documentary that launched Mark Achbar's career. The second person was not so wise a choice: Michael Moore, who is not an expert on corporations or economics, but a like-minded filmmaker. His inclusion seems less like informed commentary than incest. Ironically, toward the end of the documentary he cackles in a most capitalistic fashion about using major corporations to distribute his films, which preach against what they stand for.
Overall, for a leftist screed, The Corporation is intelligent and, for the most part, balanced. However, at nearly two and a half hours, it is longer than it needs to be and tends toward the pedantic.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine
In this laughable attempt at a global disaster movie, Dennis Quaid plays Jack Hall, a government paleoclimatologist researching the cause of the previous Ice Age in Antarctica when the entire Larsen B ice shelf decides to take a walk. He warns the United Nations that global warming is causing the icecaps to melt, which will ultimately result in a massive disruption of the Northern Hemisphere's moderate climate and a new Ice Age. Asked when this will occur, he opines, "Maybe a hundred years, maybe a thousand." Turns out he was about a hundred years off: the next day, the British Isles are at the centre of a massive storm system drawing supercooled air from the upper atmosphere, and all the Brits are Individually Quick Frozen. On the other side of the world, massive tornadoes unexpectedly destroy Los Angeles.
Meanwhile, Hall's son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal) and two friends are in New York City for an academic competition where, unbeknownst to them since the geniuses don't turn on the news, the next superstorm is forming right above their heads. A massive tidal wave strands them in the public library. After the newly formed Lake Manhattan freezes over, the majority of the library refugees decide to take their chances outside. Sam, his classmates, and about half a dozen others take shelter in a reading room and burn the books to keep warm, resulting in a pointless argument about censorship. (They couldn't have just burned Danielle Steel instead of Nietzsche? Better yet, how about the wooden furniture?) In the meantime, back in Washington, Hall learns that Sam is still alive in the Big Apsicle and, drawing on his experience in arctic climates, mounts an expedition with his two co-workers to rescue him.
To call the science in The Day After Tomorrow "implausible" would be an understatement. Willful suspension of disbelief is simply impossible. Apparently Emmerich, wanting to sound a warning about the dangers of global warning, was aware that superstorms simply could not form in such a short time, yet decided to accelerate the action anyway for entertainment value. Put another way, he tried to make a serious point with a deliberately stupid plot. (Good plan.)
Meanwhile, the human story is equally wretched, with the characters one-dimensional and the situations manipulative. Hall's wife, a doctor, elects to stay behind after everyone else at her hospital evacuates, so she can take care of the cute little bald boy with leukemia whose parents are missing. (Feel that tugging in your chest? It's Emmerich pulling on your heartstrings.) While walking to New York in a blizzard, tied together for safety, one of Hall's buddies falls through the skylight of a buried shopping mall. He cuts the rope, plummeting to his death, to save the others. ("Nooooooo!!!!")
On the other hand, the CGI (supplied by major effects houses such as ILM, Dream Quest, and Digital Domain, amongst others) is breathtaking for the most part, except for some rather obvious CG wolves.
When you see "Written by Roland Emmerich" and "Suggested by the book The Coming Global Superstorm by Art Bell and Whitley Streiber" in the credits, you know you're not going to see a Nova documentary. Art Bell never saw a bit of crank science he didn't like. Once upon a time Emmerich wrote a wonderful movie called Stargate, but since then his screen writing talent has devolved into movies that are long on eye candy and short on intelligence, such as Independence Day and Godzilla. Emmerich appears to be in competition with Michael Bay (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor) to see who can produce the loudest, stupidest blockbuster before he dies. Thanks to The Day After Tomorrow, Emmerich takes a solid lead.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
A solid continuation of the series
Once again, I sold my soul to Satan and took in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, adapted from the third novel of J. K. Rowling's blockbuster series of juvenile fantasy.
Harry's third year at Hogwarts School of Wizarding and Wizardry is about to begin. After Harry loses his temper during dinner and causes his abusive Aunt Marge to inflate and float into the night, he decides that leaving is preferable to apologizing, packs his things, and heads out. On the street, Harry is picked up by a wizard bus that takes him to London and the Leaky Cauldron. En route he learns that notorious murderer Sirius Black has escaped from the wizard prison of Azkaban. To "protect" the students in case Black should come around, Hogwarts is now guarded by Dementors, the ghoulish and amoral guards of Azkaban. Dementors feed on human happiness, and unfortunately for Harry, they seem to take a liking to him. Thanks to Harry eavesdropping while under his invisibility cloak, we learn that Black is his godfather and his father's best friend, and that he betrayed Harry's parents to the evil Lord Voldemort. Harry resolves to have his revenge.
After Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chris Columbus gave up the director's chair to Alfonso Cuaron. It shows. Stylistically this movie often differs dramatically from its predecessors. Visually the film is darker and more Gothic, as much of the action takes place outdoors, at night, or in the rain. We get to see more of the Hogwarts castle and the surrounding environs. Some of these establishing shots are stunning. Unfortunately some of the new visuals also offend established continuity, but not too badly.
The acting is pretty solid. The three principal actors are maturing, and so are their characters. Daniel Radcliffe as Harry is taller and broader-shouldered. The rubber-faced Rupert Grint plays a more restrained Ron Weasley this time around. For some reason Emma Watson's Hermione Granger is played as more of a tomboy than a by-the-book student, but she's not terribly out of character.
The redoubtable Robbie Coltrane returns as the slow-witted grounds keeper Hagrid, now promoted to teach Care of Magical Creatures. Michael Gambon replaces the late Richard Harris as Headmaster Dumbledore; while the physical resemblance is there, Harris' kindly-grandfather interpretation of Dumbledore is gone. Alan Rickman again masters the sinister Professor Snape. However, Dame Maggie Smith is terribly underused as Professor McGonagall, having all of two or three lines in the entire film. David Thewlis joins the cast as Professor Remus Lupin, the Defense Against Dark Arts Professor du jour. The almost unrecognizable Emma Thompson chews scenery beautifully as Professor Trelawney, the flaky fraud who teaches Divination. Gary Oldman, who excels at portraying characters who are on the border of insanity, is a natural for Sirius Black, though he too is hard to recognize under his heavy beard.
The Prisoner of Azkaban's two predecessors were straight, mostly faithful, adaptations of the source material. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but this time minimalism carries the day, and much of the novel's superfluous material disappears. Gone, for the most part, are classes and the Quidditch season, apart from one match that is crucial to the plot. Hagrid holds one Care of Magical Creatures class to introduce Buckbeak the Hippogriff; we don't get to see the students learning about Flobberworms or Salamanders. This undoubtedly rubs the Potter purists the wrong way, but it does make for a tighter plot. On the other hand, some of the deleted scenes provide information that explain the scenes that are left, and so a little more padding would have been nice.
Many of the novel's crucial clues are revealed through exposition or dialogue. Here they are often shown visually. We are shown that Professor Lupus' greatest fear is a full moon. (Why?) Harry acquires a magic map authored by Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, but their true identities are not revealed, nor is the reason Lupus knows the spell to reveal the map's secrets. But the answers are right there in plain sight, if you are paying attention. It's nice to watch a movie that doesn't insult your intelligence by assuming you have to be told everything up front.
Final note: Take the time to sit through the end credits. Not that there are any surprises or secrets revealed, but they are well crafted and have a touch of humour.
Kaijû daisensô (1965)
Goofy cheesy fun
Made ten or so years after the original Godzilla movie, you can tell that by the time "Godzilla vs. Monster Zero" was made, the series had drifted into self-parody. Nonetheless it's still fun to watch.
The premise of the story is that a new "Planet X" has been discovered in orbit behind Jupiter. When a rocket is dispatched, the astronauts discover that Planet X is populated by robot-like humanoid aliens who live underground because the surface has been ravaged by Monster Zero, none other than the three-headed King Ghidorah. The aliens promise to supply the cure for all known disease if they can borrow earthbound monsters Godzilla and Rodan to team up against Ghidorah. It turns out that the aliens have double crossed us gullible Earthlings and intend to invade Earth, using the three monsters as weapons.
Fighting for the good guys are a tough-guy American astronaut and his Japanese partner whose sister is a scientist working for the space organization, and her inventor boyfriend who can't figure out why he can't sell his invention (hint: invent something that does more than just make an annoying noise!). And, of course, the usual army guys. What would a Godzilla movie be without a few platoons of cannon fodder?
Obviously the budget for this film didn't go into the detailed miniatures that Godzilla movies are known for. The two major battles take place largely on the rocky terrain of Planet X or in open fields on Earth. Except for a couple of impressive explosions, relatively little gets smashed. The monsters spend more time flexing and posturing than fighting. And in my growing collection of Godzilla movies, in no other movie (yet) is it as obvious that these are grown men in rubber suits - at one point Godzilla even spars with Ghidorah bare-knuckle style!
Nonetheless, the movie has its moments. The dialogue, at least, the English-dubbed version, is full of great, cheesy lines: "The final hour is approaching for the people of Earth!" and "You rats! You stinkin' rats!" just to name two. The Planet X-ians' "futuristic" costumes, complete with new-wave dark glasses, have to be seen to be believed. And, of course, there's the Great Green One's "victory jig."
Invite some friends over, pop up a bowl of popcorn, shut your brains off, and enjoy.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Not Plan 9 . . . more like Dune
Reviewers are already calling this movie the "Plan 9 from Outer Space" of the year 2000. That's a bit overstated; "Battlefield Earth" is worse than you ought to expect from an $80-million movie, but not as bad as many of the media reviews have said. It's more like "Dune" than "Plan 9": not REALLY bad, and not terribly good either, just proof that some decent talent, cool special effects, and a few creative ideas can't save a poor script.
"Battlefield Earth" is based on the 1982 novel of that name by L. Ron Hubbard. The year is 3000. Earth has been overrun by the Psychlos, a cruel, opportunistic race of giant aliens that mine entire planets of their precious metals. A thousand years earlier (that'd be around now) the Psychlos routed the entire human race in only nine minutes. What is left of humanity now cowers in caves in the mountains, where the Psychlos can't go because the radiation levels are too high (radioactivity ignites the gas they breathe). Unfortunately, the radiation is slowly making the humans extinct as well. Enter Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper, the Bible-quoting sniper from "Saving Private Ryan"), a young human who is trying to find a better way of life for his tribe. While exploring the ruins of the city of Denver, he is captured by the Psychlos and pressed by their corrupt security chief, Terl (John Travolta) into mining a secret vein of gold. He takes the opportunity to motivate the remainder of the Psychlos' slaves into revolting against the aliens.
This ought to be an OK premise for a space opera, right? Unfortunately, in this script, illogic carries the day. Although it is supposedly illegal to teach non-Psychlos how to mine, you never see a Psychlo so much as pick up a shovel. The humans do the mining, and the Psychlos are more like taskmasters (something like the Egyptians in Exodus). When Jonnie proves to be aggressive, untrainable, and rebellious, he is marked for termination, but instead Terl hooks him up to a teaching machine and gives him the knowledge he needs to stage an effective revolt. Although Terl gives Jonnie two weeks to mine the vein, appparently the Psychlos were too dim to raid Fort Knox, so the humans simply take that gold and spend their two weeks hunting for weapons. Fort Hood has been a ruin for a millennium, but luckily the Harrier jets stored there are in working order and still full of fuel; what's more, the fort still has electricity to run the Harrier simulator so that the cavemen can become Top Gunners in a week. (Heck, someone even left the light on in the simulator, and after 1000 years it hasn't burnt out yet!) The gas that the Psychlos breathe is poison to humans, and vice versa, but at one point a suffocating Jonnie is able to escape from the dome the aliens have erected over most of Denver simply by diving into a pipeline that goes to the outside. And so forth. To their credit, the scriptwriters managed to avoid some of the plot howlers in Hubbard's novel, such as the atomic bomb that can vaporize a planet but not the other atomic bombs sitting next to it.
Technically, "Battlefield Earth" is a freaky mess. Evidently director Roger Christian thought it would be cool to film most of the movie at odd angles, but it just ends up being disorienting. The human characters are at times difficult to tell apart, since they are all long-haired and shaggy. The Psychlo atmosphere is purple, so all the scenes inside the dome are dark and indigo-tinted. Unfortunately, since the Psychlos are also long-haired and shaggy, in the dark good guy and bad guy alike are identical silhouettes. Travolta appears to forget about Terl's pseudo-British accent about half the time. At the beginning of the movie the Psychlo weapons shoot gobs of green energy, but at some point they start firing bullets instead. The sound effects are good, and the computer-generated effects are OK - though better suited to "Babylon 5" than a big-budget movie - but the musical score is loud and overdramatic.
But despite all of "Battlefield Earth's" faults, and being forewarned by dozens of negative reviews in the press, I actually had a hard time not enjoying it. It was just fun to watch. Certainly the novel it's based on is overlong, poorly edited, and in places just plain weird, but it isn't the worst thing Hubbard ever wrote. I enjoyed the way the director switched between the Psychlo and human points of view - humans perceive Psychlos speaking gibberish, while the Pscyhlos regard the humans as apes. It was evident that Travolta had fun hamming up his role as the Machiavellian and arrogant Terl. Unfortunately his lines, consisting primarily of diabolical laughter and childish semantic games, did get tiresome after a while. Multiple variations on the theme "I agreed we wouldn't spy on each other, but I never agreed *I* wouldn't spy on *you*" can only go so far before getting silly. And the Psychlo technology is more or less the way I pictured it while reading the novel: grimy, metallic, and more functional than decorative.
The idea of an influential Hollywood Scientologist producing a film based on a novel by the founder of Scientology has, understandably, raised some concerns that "Battlefield Earth" might be a subtle promotional tool for the controversial religion. But as reprehensible as Hubbard and Scientology are, these fears are unfounded. A few of Hubbard's ideas come through - most notably that psychiatrists, like the Psychlos, regard humans as mere animals (Psychlo/psychiatrist - get it?). But nothing in the film is intrinsically Scientological. Face it - Hubbard was about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. Note, for example, the good guy/bad guy dichotomy in this film: the hero, Jonnie Goodboy (get it?) Tyler can do no wrong, while the evil Psychlos manipulate, exploit, blackmail, drink a vile green intoxicant called kerbango, and shoot the legs off cattle for kicks. If you want Scientology propaganda, go read the 10-volume "Mission Earth" series, a heavy-handed monstrosity replete with obvious Scientology references.
Rather, "Battlefield Earth" is a self-indulgent act of hero worship that John Travolta has finally put to film after nearly 20 years of trying. L. Ron Hubbard was an over-hyped, self-promoting, mediocre writer with an inflated sense of his own worth to society, and in that respect "Battlefield Earth" is reflective of his character. But as an SF movie, there have been worse films in the last couple of years. "Armageddon" and "Soldier" come to mind.