Reviews

The absolutely underrated Sinbad is perfect as a gonzo version of Neil deGrasse Tyson, Colin Hanks nails deadpan absurdity, and Chelsea Peretti is, as usual, over the top hilarious. The series regulars, too, have a blast trying to avoid an alien wreaking havoc on the set, as Reggie and Scott decide to push the idea of "the show must go on" to ridiculously funny degrees. Comedy Bang Bang is always a good time, but this episode is exceptionally funny, enjoyable and memorable. An instant classic.

Supergirl is BAD. The plot is nearly incoherent, the tone inconsistent, and, having come out in 1984, is quite dated. The dialogue is ridiculous, and the script is absolute nonsense, especially when it adds up to a nearly two hour film. But that doesn't mean "Supergirl" is worthless. There are flashes of creativity, some stellar performances, and the set design and cinematography are occasionally so good they make everything else look so much worse.

Beginning in a place called "Innerspace" (it's like outer-space but inner, get it? That's literally the explanation the film provides). We discover Peter O'Toole's character has created a safe haven for those left behind after Superman's original planet was vaporized. O'Toole accidentally loses his haven's power source, Supergirl, (who is Superman's cousin, I guess), decides to go find it. From here we have a collection of witches, warlocks, a tiger rug, an abandoned amusement park, and an hour long digression into High school politics when Supergirl randomly decides to become a student. Oh - and the entire film, both the protagonists and antagonists try to woo a local high school dropout and handyman - which leads to some severely uncomfortable scenes between a supposedly high school aged Supergirl and mid thirties handyman.

As a film it's an incoherent mess. That being said - I was entertained by every second of it.

From the absolutely weird choices in set design, (O'Toole's magic wand and power source contraptions look like dollar store toys, to the witch hideout inexplicably set in an abandoned theme park), to the exemplary actors giving it their all in a film about absolute nonsense, (there are three Oscar nominees as well as three other screen legends in the film), including O'Toole, Dunaway and Vaccaro absolutely crushing it, to randomly, beautifully realized cinematography and flight sequences in the film - there is so much to chew on from a critical and filmmaking perspective. One wonders if the filmmakers had been given complete creative control, what the film might have been.

On top of all of that - there are so many "huh?" Moments. From a mind numbing opening credit sequence that looks like a fifth grader's PowerPoint that inexplicably cost over one million dollars, (in 1984 - the film looks like it was shot in 1964), the 'evil-tractor' sequence... the entire film is a collective "huh?" Experience.

If you're a fan of watching bad films because they can be either entertaining, fascinating or hilarious - this is all three. If you're just interested in some escapism in the DC universe - avoid this mess at all costs.

Safe Haven is classic romantic fare from Nicholas Sparks - a mysterious woman with an interesting history, a lonely father with a beautiful wife he lost to cancer, a small fishing town, two plucky kids and zany locals. It's the perfect formula for a romance. Duhamel is a pro in these type of films, and Hough, in one of her first major roles, is charismatic and engaging. A lesser actress would have made it a bland performance - Hough injects life into her character. Read on, if you don't mind spoilers.

It would be nice to have an adult film about finding love amidst grief or starting anew, but it seems that having a female character who doesn't have trauma as her driving force is a rare thing these days. The "crazy-ex-husband" trope is jarring and confusing in the way it's framed, and, (aside from creating some conflict), unnecessary. Stories like that deserve to be told - but here it just seems out of touch and out of place.

Additionally, Colbie Smulders, while a great actress, is giving nothing to do here aside from being a quippy best friend. Having her be the ghost of Duhamel's dead wife is a super left of center, very odd and verisimilitude shattering choice. It takes a pretty decent romantic film and changes it into a weird PG version of "the sixth sense."

Overall, this is a watchable romantic drama, elevated by its cast, cinematography and great director. The script is too overstuffed and becomes a "Enough"/"Sixth Sense" hybrid, when it should have been just a decent romantic film. Still - it's tough to hate on a film that takes huge creative swings like "Safe Haven" does. It's weird, tonally all over the place, and can be confusing; but it's sure as hell entertaining.

Reading some of the reviews, it seemed more people expected "Get Out 2" than a horror remake of a 70's TV-Show. "Fantasy Island" pull no punches, and knows exactly what it is - an entertaining bit of escapism with just enough mystery and intrigue to keep the viewer engaged.

Yes, Blumhouse is fast becoming one of the most interesting and progressive studios in the buisiness. From Get Out, Happy Death Day, the Invisible Man, Upgrade and Sinister, they've been making a name for themselves as creators and producers of a new kind of 'smart' horror film that pleases critics and audiences alike. As well, they've produced some fantastic non-horror films like BlackKklansman, Whiplash and the Normal Heart. Maybe it's because Blumhouse has such excellent films in their repertoire that Fantasy Island got lumped in with them. Fantasy Island is lighter fare, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Using the premise of the original show as a jumping board into madness, the film tells the story of an ensemble of millennials, dumped onto a mysterious island to live out their fantasies. But as most stories like this go - sometimes your greatest fantasy can become your worst nightmare. This simple premise allows for entertaining wish fulfillment, a bit of goofy satire, as well as some good ol' shock and awe. When things go south, however, is when the film gets interesting.

Like a weird, semi-serious episode of 'Lost', Fantasy Island tells a compelling mystery story that coasts on the talents of its leads, especially Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Portia Doubleday and most of all, the duo of Ryan Hansen and Jimmy Yang. Twice now, I've seen them onscreen together, and no matter the quality of the film, they always steal the show. Even though the ensemble is great here, the film would have been served much better with fewer characters and a more streamlined plot. At almost two hours long, there's a lot that could have been cut out without sacrificing the story or drama. Couple that with a weird, almost unearned ending, and the film just misses the mark. The end sometimes feels as if it was reshot to make focus groups happier. I was expecting a little more from a film that builds its mystery and suspense surprisingly well.

All in all, this isn't a perfect film, but it's sure as Hell entertaining, and there's a lot worse ways to spend a quiet night or afternoon. An enjoyable, entertaining and light bit of escapism worth watching due to the cast and cinematography raising the bar above mediocre. Solid B-Movie cheese made by A-list talent.

"Becky" isn't your average genre flick. Yes, it does have some occasionally over the top violent scenes, but where other films would go for either the heartstrings, terror, vengeance or justice - "Becky" goes a little further into the abyss.

Kevin James' Dominick is undoubtedly, absolutely, psychotically evil, just like the hateful rhetoric he spouts throughout the film. But the film seems to ask - how much innocence, morality and family is one willing to sacrifice in order to defeat evil? How do we, as many have said, "be careful when fighting monsters, that you do not become one yourself"?

Lulu Wilson's "Becky" is the answer to that question. When people are pushed to their limits, when their family and fibre of their very being are pushed into a corner - good people fight back.

"Becky" is a powerful, grotesque, nail-biting thriller that has an edge over a lot of other films. With a completely unsettling, unpredictable and taut script, and the juxtaposition of the characters Becky and Dominick, it has a sharper edge than similar thrillers. As well, James' chameleon like performance, (and complete 180 from his usual fare), is a tour de force of villainy. I haven't seen a character so skin-crawlingly removed from empathy in a long time, and it's a credit to his skill and the skill of the director that James' performance is pitch perfect - he's never over the top, and he's never too quiet. His performance is quietly intense and utterly disturbing. I never thought I'd mention the Oscars and Kevin James... but 2020 has proven nothing is out of the question. Wilson, too, as the eponymous Becky, is tasked with a brutal, exhausting performance that requires a lot of skill someone twice her age would have trouble with. She knocks it out of the park. The supporting cast, as well, featuring Joel McHale, Robert Mailet and rising Canadian star Amanda Brugel, help round out and give depth and humanity to a film that, while largely devoid of such things, needs them as a strong foundation.

I wouldn't recommend this film to everyone - it's grotesquely violent, utterly disturbing and shocking - but it's a worthwhile, challenging and riveting thriller, with some of the best performances of the year, and James' best of his career so far.

Parton and Latifah are undeniable icons - and absolutely, brilliantly multitalented. It's a shame, then, that Joyful Noise is such a letdown.

A nothing story, a meandering script, (it takes detours so wide we constantly lose the plot), and co-stars who were obviously chosen for their vocal talents and not their acting abilities sink what was a promising premise.

After killing off one of the biggest stars of the film in the first scene, (why would they get rid of Kristofferson immediately?), the film decides to go for all our comedy, and whiplash into deep melodrama so much that it completely derails either from working. There's too many musical numbers that don't work, (for every Man in the Mirror or Fix Me, there's three that don't work), and for a large part of the film - the younger co-stars are the only ones on screen.

When Latifah and Parton are on screen - the results are electric. A 'fight' scene between the two is absolutely brilliant - and a lot of their lines seem ad-libbed; the ones that actually work anyways. Both Parton and Latifah are absolute professionals, and it shows, especially when they're surrounded by amateurs.

Still, if you're a fan of gospel, good musicianship, Latifah or Parton, it's worth watching on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I'd maybe just fast forward the scenes without the two stars. Otherwise, it's not so Joyful - it's just noise.

From the minds that brought us the original Teenage Mutant Turtles, Coneheads and the sequel, (yes this film has a sequel), "the NEW Adventures of Pinocchio" comes the umpteenth adaptation of Carlo Collodi's, (Lorenzi), 1883 novel "Pinocchio." Truly, there's only been one good adaptation of the story, and that was the 1940's Walt Disney classic "Pinocchio."

Since 1940, there have been dozens of adaptations, all of them absolutely terrible, (some consider 'A.I.: Artificial Intelligence' and adaptation, and while it borrows from Collodi's novel, I wouldn't call it an adaptation, more of an homage or inspired by). From Roberto Benigni's carreer ending 2002 adaptation, (for some shocking reason, he's made another version, out in 2019), or the ridiculously titled 'Pinocchio 3000,' none of them, aside from Disney's original, have had a reason to exist. Of all of the asinine, poorly made, or stupid versions, Steve Barron's "The Adventures of Pinocchio" is the worst.

Martin Landau, in his most depressing role, plays Geppetto, as an 1800's version of an 'incel' who's obsessed with the one woman who looked his way 40 years prior. For seemingly no reason at all, he carves a puppet and it comes to life. What follows are a series of unconnected events that involve supposedly funny misunderstandings and misadventures; None of which are funny or adventurous.

As with most live-action adventures, this adaptation loses the magic and suspension of disbelief that animation offers. However, with the dead, immobile glare of Pinocchio's eyes, the turning of kids into donkeys, along the creepy men and women surrounding the titular character, the film takes an unintentional, unsettling tone.

Finally, when Pinocchio was given life in other adaptations, he's portrayed here as a robotic like, shell of a person, who has no self-awareness, doesn't understand object permanence, and would spectacularly fail the Turing Test. Other moments too, are deeply unsettling; the inside of the whale looks like the actual inside of a whale, (i.e., absolutely disgusting), and the aforementioned Donkey scene.

Everything misfires - the pacing, the terrible acting, Landau and Kerr are awful, but probably at the direction of Barron, and Rob Schneider is... well, Rob Schneider; the cinematography is nausea inducing and poorly lit, and, for such a well worn story, the way the screenwriters, (there are 4 of them), lay out the story, makes for an absolutely confusing, boring and nonsensical film.

This isn't just a bad movie, or a movie that's 'so bad it's good.' Like Pinocchio himself, the film is a gross misrepresentation of something real, a golem standing in for what should or could be an entertaining film. This is a boring, unsettling, upsetting, gross, banal and depressing film. Watch the 1940's original.

If you ever come across this version, do what Landau's character should have done to Pinocchio the moment he comes to life - throw it into fire.