Reviews

The movie was three hours long...and it seemed longer. I was looking forward to seeing an adult movie, but spend three hours watching a grey movie with ugly cinematography and didn't even notice the much talked about black and white photography, because it didn't contrast with the bland grey of the rest of the film. There was a big deal about it being filmed in IMAX, but it remind3d me of watching 8mm home movies, of a family you don't know, or really care to get to know.

The lead actor was the old man from Poltergeist, and he even wore the same hat! Most of the cast was non-descript and interchangeable,, which only made the show harder to follow because they all looked alike and the bland photography and lack of color and similar outfits didn't help. The actors didn't really seem to help, as Robert Downey Jr. And Casey Affleck (whose only connection to acting is being Ben's brother) served mostly as wallpaper... there presence wasn't really needed as the movie was intensively dialogue driven ( as in, they could have just done an audiobook and I probably wouldn't have noticed).

The movie was not as long as it was LOUD. Lots of booming noises, and yet, some of the dialogue was muffled and hard to understand. And there was a LOT of dialogue. It seemed as though this was intentional as the movie was more like a documentary than a drama where you are engaged by the actors and become involved in the story. It seemed as though the dialogue could have been more engrossing if they had just read a Statistics textbook out loud. It was very clinical, after three hours, you were told a lot about the characters, but as there was no chemistry or emotional involvement between them, you never feel it. In fact, they portrayed Oppenheimer as cold, and then tried to tell you he was a womanizer. It just didn't work...he did not come off as charismatic, yet he had numerous love interests. Physically, he looked like he hadn't quite survived a hunger strike and had the body of a 10 year old...not something anybody would be attracted to or want to look at, way too much for a whole documentary. Not that I cared to be subjected to his female love interests, as they were filmed in a way to delete any possibility of physical attraction. Christopher Nolan has received a lot of criticism for purposely not having sex scenes in his movies. It turns out he knows his weaknesses and set out to prove it with these unattractive scenes.

As far as documentaries go, I'll wait for Ken Burns to make one that is involving and interesting.

After an advanced screening of the movie last night, and hope I can save you a wasted trip to the multiplex...

There are two types of Boxing movies...ones that compare to Raging Bull, and ones like this. It is a contrived tale of a boxer who triumphs over adversity in a plug and play, cookie-cutter way that feels like you have seen it a thousand times before. There are the manufactured triumphant moments, programmed "Insert humor here" chuckles, and the "shocking" (but not really)events. At no time are you transported into caring, as the great cast are forced into shallow stereotypes with no depth or dimension. Miles Teller does a serviceable job in this poorly thought out role, but looks the same no matter what weight class he is fighting in, Aaron Eckhart is positively repulsive looking as an overweight drunk has-been(how original!) with a distracting haircut meant to look like he is balding. He is given no real role to showcase his talents, and the alcoholic angle just seems ridiculous and unreal. Ted Levine as a creepy boxing promoter is just a wasted rehash of his creepiness from Silence of the Lambs, and fits into yet another of the movie's contrivances.

The group of actors are wasted on stale fare,the Director should be held to account for making a cut and paste generic melodrama, and the cinematography at no time brings the fights to life. There is no development to make you really like or care about the characters, there are no surprises in the whole movie, the emotion and the laughs are contrived (and the car crash was dumb... Vinny is in the car, which is supposed to be a new Camaro, but has old faded paint, and has a bloody head and everybody in the scene is shocked, but he looks much better then he did after he had won a fight...silly) and the script never lets anything seem genuine.

The movies flaws outweigh its good points 10 to 1, and the first half of the movie could have been left on the cutting room floor with no ill-effect. In fact, it seemed like a four hour movie. Sadly, Bleed For This should slowly bleed to death through faint praise, and with good editing, should have ended up as nothing more than its trailer...

Poor Melissa McCarthy... No self esteem, no self-respect, and obviously, no shame. She is a person that no doubt has talent and intelligence, but nobody has told her so, which can be the only reason she would embarrass herself with this demeaning, tacky and unfunny garbage, over in over, repeating the previous bad movie she completed before.

This train wreck of a film wasted hours of my life, and took down so many actors with its insipidly juvenile plot, terrible script, and inane dialogue. I even found myself wishing my movie hero, Jason Statham, all the terrible deaths he so gloriously dished out in all his previous movies. He is the guy that Guy Richie made be great and funny, but the "Feig" that directed this crap made me want to never see him in another movie again...and I am the guy who even liked him in "In the name of the King". Please Jason, take that fast car you are known for and drive the heck away from this toxic drivel... and drag Jude law behind you for venturing into this bad choice. Jude Law is such a great actor... please send him to rehab if he is this desperate to finance his habits. And tell him not to share needles with Rose Byrne...such a beautiful lady to waste in this movie obviously written by some potty mouthed sixth graders (or Seth McFarlane).

That Melissa McCarthy is wasting her lives on fart joke, vomit jokes, "Pee-pee" picture jokes, and degrading herself by just being the fat-chick butt of all jokes at the expense of her dignity, is just a tragedy. I'd rather not see her degrade herself to the point that I will in the future seek out more intellectual movies, like something with Jim Carrie or Yahoo Serious.

The plot has been done better and before a thousand times. The dialogue...unbelievably childish and unoriginal. The movie comes together like an episode of The Cleveland show, which itself is just an unoriginal rehashing of "Family Guy", which itself is just a rehashing of the lesser episodes of "the Simpsons" with all of the humor, fun, joy, originality, spirit and souls removed.

OMG, it was the longest two hours of my life. Avoid like the plague, and don't encourage these movies to reproduce...this is how people like Jack Black can have a career! (The only good thing about this movie is that Jack Black wasn't in it, too).

I really tried to watch this tripe, but the sophomoric writing combined with the terrible acting just proved to be way too much for my patience. Clyde Barrow was terribly played by an actor taken from a high-school melodrama, who although handsome just couldn't fill the shoes (or later shoe, ha ha) of the character. The coming together of the uncharismatic couple made no sense, and the ridiculous and stereotypical and predictable "rape scene" combine with the tacky movie house fondling just proved that junior high-schoolers should stay in school instead of going to Hollywood to write TMZ-inspired scripts. There is no way I could even get through the first hour, much less another night of this... and they have the nerve to show this on more than one network? Maybe they should have shown something more intellectual on two of the other stations, like Kardashian reruns. If the point of this exercise is to prove that cable is becoming irrelevant, lets call this show an astounding success.

Paul Rudd doesn't have the charisma to pull off this movie, even if it didn't have a pathetic script. The premise was lame to start with, the casting was terrible. I have seen all of the actors do better when they have had something to work with. The characters were morally bankrupt, like a paler copy of the Seinfield cast, and the "Idiot brother" was just a series of lame, "but he has a heart of gold" stereotypes. By the end of the movie, I was becoming physically ill from hearing the say "Willie Nelson". They shouldn't let children write scripts! Way to predictable, way too long, WAAAAAY short on being charming or funny. Not to sound prudish, but the liberal use of the "F" word and other four letter fouls added nothing to the comedy or depth of the movie experience, especially since I was surrounded by children in a theater where the ignorant parents thought that cussing and nudity were appropriate values to share with their heathen offspring. Waste of money and time.

Jason Statham at his best... this movie is a non stop rollicking blast with the best of ridiculousness, action blood, guts, and over the top humor. If you don't get this simple, extreme show of implausible fantasy, you have my pity. The movie is really just Crank I on crystal meth-laced steroids, fueled with electricity. Any movie with that much Amy Smart just has to be worth watching. And thankfully it is refreshingly chock-full of political incorrectness!!! OF COURSE, it is implausible, how else could it be that much fun? I haven't laughed this much at the movies since Mel Brooks was hitting his stride. Honestly guys, if you don't love this movie, complain to your boyfriend, not here, because it will just show that you aren't bright enough to get it. Yes, they could have made it without a few of the more disgusting scenes,but so what? This is what action movies should strive for. Mindless entertainment, thought up by amazingly creative guys, and a great cast of characters (including a head shot of Ricky from Crank I.) Suspend your disbelief, and take a break from reality. it might be the best $9.00 you spend this week... but hold on to your seat!

It's an OK movie, but it shot for the stars and hit the footlights. Yeah, Heath Ledger is dead and it's a shame that there is one less drug addict in the world, but, that doesn't mean that this was the best performance ever filmed, with that grating fake-y voice it seemed that he was acting the part, not ever becoming it. I really did like his take on the role however, as it was a fresh take on an old role, but still, he is no Cesar Romero. Having Christian Bale as Batman was an error in casting as well, not that he couldn't look the part, but with that constant effeminate lisp when he talks (and yet, Two Face is missing half his lips and can speak clearly), he made Burt Ward's version of Robin look like vintage John Wayne. Now we know why he chooses to save when he is forced to make a choice. Maggie Gyllenhall is a decent actress, but is no leading lady. To pretend that Batman could find her attractive is really stretch fantasy even in this fantasy based popcorn movie. Even that horrible movie Catwoman had the sense to give us Hallie Berry in Vinyl. I know the movie was supposed to be deep and psychological, and I'm sure research on the motivation of the characters even included reading the dust-jacket to some college Psych 101 class, but it definitely fell short in the compelling and deep sections. The cinematography was really nice for most of the movie but even it could not work magic on the lame fight scenes, or the CGI crap of the Batguy hang gliding between buildings. Hell you were in Hong Kong, couldn't you stop by Jackie Chan's place for a little choreography help? The score to the movie sounded great but was instantly forgettable. Dany Elfman did the Simpson's, why not let him work magic on this cartoon, too? Finally the bat-car sucked! Lets see, put the tires up front, because they'll never get shot out there, even if it does make the Bat mini-van look buck-toothed. That's OK though, if they do shoot out one of the tires, there is a fifty percent chance it won't be the one attached to the bat-moped. At last we find the bat man is the Dark night because he beats his mom, and still maintains a sibling rivalry with his sister. I guess the bat-dude hasn't really evolved at all.

Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. I think Andy Warhol made a long movie in which a guy just slept, I'm sure it had more action. From what little I got out of the so called movie, a retarded lady gets text messages from someone... but why anybody would text a retarded brain dead (ok she was cute, but a date with a corpse would be more interactive and less pitiful, not to mention the corpse could probably act better) moron is unfathomable. Anyway evidently Marky Mark likes her too, but is so concerned that bees are dying that he is unable to notice that he is infected with a disease that paralyzes his face into one expression in the movie where his face has a wrinkled brow and an open mouth. It also evidently paralyzes that part of the brain which allows acting.

The rest of the movie is even worse, and so stupid, moronic, unfeasible, pathetic, uninteresting, unengrossing, did I say stupid? that I won't insult anyone by going into it... you wouldn't think I was telling the truth, it is that stupid. m knight sham-a-lot, you owe me ten bucks. The only terror of the movie is wasting money on this tripe, and being stupid enough not to leave three minutes into it. PLEASE Don't WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY IT ONLY ENCOURAGES THEM.

WORST...MOVIE...EVER.

It is bad enough to hear Ben Stein drone, but the only thing he accomplished was stealing my ten bucks, and boring the poo out of me with this pointless, shamefully underachieving drivel. I know he could have done better than this, he was more convincing as a supporter of intelligent design in "Ferris Bueller". The movie did nothing, said nothing, accomplished nothing, unless his goal was to air old sock footage of the holocaust, which must have been done in the lame hope of stirring up some buzz for this droning endeavor. Did I mention the droning and the repetitive holocaust footage? Did I mention the droning and the repetitive holocaust footage? Did I mention the droning and the repetitive holocaust footage! Yes, it was that redundant. There was nothing to this boring flick and it was so trite that I think that this movie must be a metaphor for hell or something, because it was that awful. If I can save one person from wasting time on this tripe, I am sure this will help me reach the gates of heaven. Did I mention the droning and the repetitive holocaust footage?

The Coen brothers could poop on the screen and there are people who would regard it as genius. The movie had some potential, but it wasn't even completed. I guess they just woke up and said, "I don't feel like finishing this... just tell them we're done... our name alone is enough to sell this as a whole movie". Well, some of us noticed. I would like to see this thing completed someday, as it started out good, had some decent acting, and the cinematography was bland and washed out like "The Mist" and "Delores Claiborne". What ever happened to Technicolor? Tommy Lee Jones must be Barnaby Jones' older brother that never used sunscreen, because he looks like he died of old age several decades before they invented enbalming fluid... it is no wonder that his character didn't actually do anything but show up after everything was over. The main "bad guy" really didn't have much to do except "act" unemotional. He was "The Terminator" only more robotic. The ending didn't suck; there was no ending. The Coens just quit.

I just caught the premiere of this movie, and had heard nothing about it other that it was scary. Don't let anybody tell you anything, and run to the closest theater as soon as possible! Yes, there was some barely average acting by Thomas Jane, and the whiny kid, but Marcia Gay Harden chewed up the scenery as the Fundamentalist doom-sayer Ms. Carmody! Go see it just for her if nothing else. It was great fun to actually be at the movies where the audience reacts and rolls with the punches for a change. I recommend finding the loudest, most crowded theatre available. There were a few monster movie clichés and stereotypes, some undeveloped threads and a few dumb actions by the characters, but great fun overall. I saw some IMDb users wanting to know the end of the movie, but avoid those losers at all costs! If you end up not liking the movie, I'm sure there is an Adam Sandler movie right around the corner with your name on it.

Great casting, except everyone seems older than the characters they portray. Jason Stratham is great for the role and his Bateman character is a nice counter to the ever self-consumed Sid. I think Sid was my roommate in college, right down to girl obsessing, coke and self-loathing. Unlike the ignorant theories like some have posted, I've been to exactly the same types of parties, only with more drugs and booze (maybe it is different in Croatia :). Explosive acting and a solid cast keep you watching what could have been just a slow-moving stage play. The film angles kept me rived to the screen wanting just a touch more of Jessica Biel and especially the deliciously cool Joy Bryant. Chris Evans showed great acting and emotional range as the whining Sid, and was balanced by the fun to watch and hear Stratham, who for once got to show that he really can act. A real unexpected treat.

Michael Clayton is like a throwback to the days when movies actually had a story instead of just explosions and computer graphics, and that is a really good thing. It featured solid acting from Tom Wilkinson and George Clooney and should have been the kind of movie I have been waiting for. But then, they had to blow it with a bunch of inane talk, without all of the filler contributing to our like or dislike of the characters. Sure they told us Clooney's character was a father and sort of had problems, but so what? Didn't make me care any more then when I started. The guy is supposed to be a brilliant "cleaner", but continues blindly through the movie. The bad guys can efficiently "remove" one problem, but when it comes to Clooney's character, they use the "let's find the most inane, sophomoric solution we can find" solution. The end relies on the stupidity of supposedly smart people. I could have given the movie a 9 for being different if the plot vehicles weren't so ridiculous. They must have run against a deadline to hurriedly finish this one.

Now I know where all the Will Ferrel fans go when he doesn't have a new movie out. If you want to hear "Pee-pee" jokes, go teach middle school! Don't pay 8 bucks to watch this movie,"fart-joke" humor should be cheaper. What a disappointment! Michael Cera was great in Arrested Development, but just another boring teenager in this film, with a fat loudmouth Penis lover and a revenge of the nerd type dork for friends. The cop guy from "knocked-up" should be a arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a Mc Tool. But again a few laughs for a long movie in which I just felt sad that there are actors desperate enough to settle for this tripe. Attention Jim Carey, these guys stole one of your movies. Yes, it's Super Bad.

I thought that this tripe would never end. The movie was wholly aggravating and I think if I had to hear Casey Affleck snivel one more line, I would have wanted to shoot him too. The show moved at a pace akin to watching ice melt in winter, and nobody had enough acting chops to make you care whether or not they got killed. The cinematography was not bad but if I ever have to look through another distorted window I might have to rob a train, too. This bland fiasco could have been done in three minutes and the impact would not have suffered. By the end of the show I was thinking, "Kill him already, maybe there will be enough time for me to do something more fun like get a root canal. Brad Pitt wasn't bad in this role, and he really knows how to read a line, but movies are for actors not orators. Somebody in Hollywood owes me nine bucks.