Reviews

Extreme slow burns. In the American Arizona (?) desert. Featuring a lawyer. Who vies old people. For their lawyer fee money. I stopped watching the show after season 2 or so. Because the scenes are really too streched and tedious. I loved the concept of the show, the main actor is great, the side cast is fantastic. And I wasn't even the slightest fan of Breaking Bad, where this spin-off originated. The extremely long scenes weren't even so bad. But after 2 seasons, I felt I saw it all. I do like the tragic development of Saul Goodman. This tragedy bit could have been managed really wrong by the producers of the show. *LOGANcough ... But the producers nailed that.

I was trying to watch that on the big screen when it premiered in 2016. I literally got sick and had to leave the cinema. Because of that movie. I don't even know what element of the movie repulsed me. Maybe the premise. A couple of secret agents. Was it ? I remember the main actor, Zach Something, as very funny. He was the reason why I went to see that flic. The main actress is forgettable, certainly not bad enough to turn me sick. (Instantly!) I recall this movie to revolve around ordinary cars, to appear very grey, and the jokes ... i don't recall any of the jokes, but they might have been to blame that I had to leave that cinema.

I didn't watch Amazon founder Bezoz' favourite project: The Boys. Because of all imaginable name picks I can think of 'The Boys' is the absolute most abhorrent. 'The rape squad,' 'midnight watchers' ... even those titles would have worked for me. A fat soccer coach who doesn't care anymore, that every last of his players are notorious child malesters. That coach calls his squad 'The Boys.' I understand this show is a spoof of superhero movies. I don't even need to know what parts of superhero movies they are criticising. The movie 'Watchmen' is a fantastic superhero spoof. It even PREdates the 2010s Marvel dacade. Watch 'Watchmen' instead. Is my suggestion.

The movie is stupid. Because Tarantino is a confused person. There are many different scenes with different premises. And that's only movie part 1: A wedding that ends in violence. A ninja sword fight in Japan. The killing of a mother in front of her child. I'm not against showing violence. Even unnecessary violence happens. The problem with this movie is that every scene STARTS with violence and CONTINUES with more violence. You can't start with violence. Violence IS the extreme. In real life: You want something, and you're not getting it, so a scene ENDS in violence. I absolutely love taking things to the extreme. Watch cartoon show family guy. They take things to the extreme. And it often ends in (funny) violence. Why would you START scenes in splatter ? I suspect many fans of Kill Bill believe that this is what sex is. Well' it's not. If you can't laugh about certain jokes, it's not you who's wrong. The joke is bad. If you don't like this movie, while low existences around you do, don't blame yourself. It's them who is wrong. The movie is garbage.

I don't understand the <7× rating, this is my absolute favourite Asterix film. The plot device to visit Rome is flawless, the drawn characters feel more real than life action, and all slapstick (!) lands! If anyone asked me what an "Asterix" is, I would show them this exact movie. Perfection. Going forward, I would want Asterix and Obelix to visit space. Let's fast forward, it's no more 50BC but AD50 and the two mount a spaceship. After all, an alien did visit them in one of the most recent comic books. The Asterix spirit won't disapappear: The original Star Trek show and the show Stargate, both, have plenty of references to ancient Greek gods. Let Asterix find a few tribes that left earth long ago.

I was never attracted to the Superman and Batman movies prior. They left me cold. Iron Man was not just my first encounter with Marvel but my first real enjoyment of any Superhero movie. I missed watching the first Avengers movie that predates Iron Man 3, admittedly, because I don't get the concept of teams. Yup, so Iron Man 3 was my first love. Having said that, this is not the real Iron Man. Iron Man has armour. That armour has a purpose. The real Iron Man would be A LOT nosier. He would like to know who he is working for, for a starter ? Who is the Pentagon ? Don't just listen to their marketing. You have an armour, Iron Man! Find out who they are! Sneak in! Like those ancient animals called 'Trilobites'! In all fossils, you can see them stretch their necks. They died stretching their necks because they were SO curious. That's who the real Iron Man would be, because that's the real reason why he has that armour. Had he done that, he would have found out that California was trying to cut social benefits, in spite of taxing the mick out of Californians for decades. And in spite of 1600s' Francis Drake offloading tons of Peruvian gold there. These days better known as CalPers (still loaded, more loaded than ever). And Cal's police just watch those benefits disappear. After all, they are on the public payroll. What could possibly go wrong in that system ? That would upset the real Iron Man, after he found out about that. Seriously, imprison all of California's oblivious cops. You can't always quite tell whether cops are dead inside. In general. That has to do with the Saxon spirit. Cops often have that originally British spirit. Sometimes that spirit plays dead, and comes back. The real Iron Man would have figured all that out. Because he has armour. Imprison all those people, seriously.

Iron Man going all in on the U. S. A. Military. Oh boy. And his buddy War Machine, under a new actor, gets an iron suit, too. None of them are the real Iron Man, though. Military staff are dead inside. If you are Iron Man, and if you are alive inside, you absolutely want to test this. ARE U. S. A. MILITARY DEAD INSIDE ? And this is what the real Iron Man would do: He would causally walk past a barracks. If he bumps into just one person in a military uniform, he would provoke it: 'You threarening me ?' Along those lines. If that piece of a person is dead inside, it can't respond in kind. If it does respond, do immediatelly give in. The military don't want that incident to make it to the newspapers. And all you needed to know is whether those people are dead inside. The government is threatening you with force. You have every right to test whether they mean it.

I was never a Superman fan. That's instinctively not how my world would function. In fact, the first superhero movie I ever liked was 2015's Captain America Civil War. 40 years after this first DC's Superman instalment. And yet, Superman got a particular thing right that even Civil War screwed up: Secrecy. Captain America always suits up. Even if Iron Man is after him. That's not normal. Superman, in the 1970s, lived a double life: Daily Mail reporter by day, Superman by other day. Secret agent thinking is completely missing in the Marvel universe. My instinct tells me, Disney/Marvel were about to make do with this world. Criticise it a little bit here and there. 'The weapons are too big.' At times. Move the focus to Africa (Wakanda). But cooperate with authorities even when they imprison all your mates. Which is what happens in CA: Civil War. Was that for millennials ? Because Superman is clearly designed for: opposing. If authorities turn sour, they can't find Superman. Even if he didn't have superpowers. Superman never became a terrorist. But all the necessary ingredients were there. It was Superman's active choice to keep siding with authorities. He didn't have to. I suspect the fact that Superman never went there, makes him forgettable, as far as I'm concerned. Superman's kick-off spirit was great, though.

What. The hell. Is this. I've lived in Britain for 8 years. Most things I saw were more than impressive. I absolutely don't understand why anyone would watch this show. 1) why would you invent a show around news 2) why would you hire cast this boring. Invite people off the street, instead 3) did every last joke writer die. I swear I overheard people in the enlightened city of Edinburgh (in the north) talk eagerly about this show. Other people invited me into their homes to watch this show, in particular. My blunt theory is: people who died inside watch this abomination. A wooden spoon with mold on it is as good as any.

This show is a bit of a trap. I could watch this show for the rest of my life on a loop, be constantly entertained, and in hell really: Need a ride ? Yes. Because imbecils refused to build infrastructure. It's the wrong kinds of people who take advantage of that. Car owners. People who don't take 'no' for an answer. People who live in office jobs. Where they commute 100 miles to and from each day. Because they need to escape their family that popped out of nowhere. That's the real "car owner" world. The show doesn't show that. That's why it works. I need a number plate. I am a car. Hence my passport. Tatoo my numbers on my forehead. I am a car. Except don't show it in this series. In reality, cars have everything to do with number-tagging governments. But the series doesn't show it. Has KITT even got a number plate ? Where are the number plate episodes ? Avoid all that, the producers concluded. Good for them. Bad for the good people who got confused and bought KITTs. I almost bought a car in my 20s. Avoid all the heavy messages, and suddenly a show that should show national socialists looks like a western. That's not what cars are about.

For me, the Rocky franchise falls under the "Sheep" movies. It's obviously bad. There is nothing you ever want to remember from this mess. And yet, many people go "this movie is baaahhh-great." I don't know why. I know they don't actually like that movie, Rocky. I suspect they like nothing in this world. Every now and then, they go "this movie is baaahh-great." It's not just Rocky. All 'Men in Black' movies are obviously bad. The editing team did not call it a night until every last scene was repelling. And viewer sheep go "bahhh." Avengers Endgame is in that same shelf. Only that the Avengers franchise hadn't always been bad. Why.

I've rated over a hundred movies and this rating is the hardest choice. I could side with any fellow critic between 2 and 8 stars. On the downside, why would you even make that kind of movie ? DiCaprio gets eaten by a wild bear, shot at by native Americans, and almost buried alive. Shortly after he got eaten by a bear. I mean, that's taking the mick as to how bad the old west could have been. And for those exact same bonkers scenes, the movie feels real. Pain is real. And Tom Hardy plays a great scoundrel who credibly inflicts that pain. And I do have those moments where I want to see a painful movie. Well, this is the one then.

There was a time in the early 2000s where you could squeeze in a poo-doesn't-matter medieval show. I did enjoy the original Lord of the Rings trilogy then. I could never watch LoR now. That slit in time is gone. There was never a time for this literal sh-show. GoT. I watched a few scenes. I let it sink in. No idea why people watch that. Emilia Clarke is an awful actress. As far as I'm concerned, she bullies children in her private life. I can't watch her. Same applies to the show's other actors. I had this theory once that audience try to get used to death. By watching this mess. All the main protagonists keep dying in this show, I was told. My theory is also nonsense. No one cares about deaths. They get buried and people can't even be bothered to put pictures on the graves. (In China they do. I know. But China wasn't responsible for this verbal sh-show.)

I love dystopian movies. I absolutely love Alita: Battle Angel. A cyborg girl gets picked up on a trash pile, and revived. As it turns out, this world had fallen ages ago. Alita wakes up in the world after that fall. She slowly remembers that she must have been part of bringing the old world down. Fantastic fight scenery on the moon, on tubes leading up to a sky city, and "The United Republics of Mars/URM." What exactly was this Logan movie ? Apart from depression to depression how depressing this world this ? I can't watch it. Staring at a wall makes me happier. Insane how everyone didn't throw up 5 minutes into production of this mess and leave.

I seem to be the only one with the following opinion. And no big deal. But: Why Danny DeVito ? He joins 'the Gang' only in season 2. I don't mind him solo. Very watchable, funny. However, I literally stopped watching this TV show when he joined in. In the TV show's story ark, he is THE investor that the run-down bar in Philadelphia needs. Is that what really happened ? Did Danny DeVito invest for real ? Or was he personally invested all along, and then couldn't bear the passivity in the director's chair ? 'Oh please, it's so funny, let me join!' I wonder if that's the real misguided story here. All the other cast are hilarous. That Danny DeVito move happened decades ago. It was so irritating.

Would be 10 stars, had this magnificent TV show not gotten a bit repetitive after season 15 or so. Still, 100s of 10-star episodes. And incredibly ballsy. Almost all the gags punch far below the waistline. The first time you watch every episode, your jaw drops to the floor. Insane the writers go there. Then you watch it a second time. Then you recall the jokes, they cross your mind, and you can't stop laughing. Also because, why would you even say all those things that this show's characters say. "I have Stratego in my mouth." "My happy place, in case I get malested." "Punch ... the baby ... in ... the face."

GoG 2 later was good. This instalment wasn't. I was so looking forward in 2014 to this movie. I remember watching the movie trailers in fascination. A space team with a talking badger. All the CGI did turn out great. No disappointment there. Apart from the talking badger, the crew seemed a bit bland. I didn't care for them. And I blame that movie. Because I did like the green-skinned lady, when she played Lt. Uhura in the new Star Trek movies. And I also like her under the makeup in GoG 2. The crew meet in space prison. Yawn. That plot vehicle is so old that my brain squeaks. It's 80s style. 80s music. At this point, I can't tell: Do Americans or Chinese like American 80s music ? Again, as a European, the music sounds extremely bland to me. David Bowie ? Depeche Mode ? UK ? Isn't that an obvious 80s choice ? Would that feel like robbing the UK ? Go to space prison for that ? This whole movie felt like nothing to me. People who recommended this movie to me were the ones I later avoided. The next instalment GoG 2 is fantastic, though.

Another millennial thing I don't get. What is this ? The pictures with the moving faces inside them are very cool. The myths around the author are very cool. The main actor is very cool, I think. I used to understand why you would want to be an apprentice at an English university. That's history now and has spun. (Avoid English unis.) But that used to be very cool in the early 2000s. What I absolutely never understood: Why sourcery ? Why would you make wizards the main protagonists ? Why go so medieval to begin with ? I hate Game of Thrones, too, by the way. If you actually live in Britain, you avoid everything medieval. British computer stores would love to go all Japanese. They can't. Glazing must be single, not double. Per regulation. The walls need to look abhorrent. Per regulation. Do movies need to look medieval, too, now ? It's not regulation. And still, people watch this wizard abomination. On their own free will. And why a child main protagonist ? It's not meant to be a pet, like Alf, for example. Good. That child clearly is powerful. A wizard. That's good. Is it FOR children, then ? In that case, it's severly misleading. Avoid English trains. The movie really sends the wrong message if it's for kids. And on such a massive level. How did they smuggle that massive heap of waste past common sense ?

In a Sherlock Holmes holodeck simulation, hologram opponent Dr Moriarty becomes self-aware and demands freedom. He even holds crew members captive. What a newly developed will to live - brilliant. I'm not spilling the even more ingenious conclusion/solution. Minus one star in my rating because no one understands how self-awareness a/k/a consciousness works: You see yourself in a mirror (Iron elements) and affirm yourself (oxygen elements). Affirmed oxygen is consciousness. If you know you are, then you are oxygen. Minus 10 stars for churches, because they figured out nothing. Spirits are a thing, too. But they are not self-awareness. Or even good for that matter. There is a big branding issue here. And shows about self-awareness prove exactly that. God has little to do with spirits.

M:I really needs to go back to its roots, at this point. Remember the 60s and 80s TV shows ? Random passers-by pointing the agent to secret spots ? M:I 6, the previous movie, still had that spirit. Backstabbing in secret undergrounds. Venician boats passing by. That's what M:I needs to reverse to. Not James Bond. Not car chases. Not Evel Knievel moped stunts. And if you include screen crashing insane stunts into a secret agent show, it needs to blend in. It doesn't any more. Did any script writer even notice that real-life police got insanely invasive since 2018 ? Even before covid ? A secret agent who can't avoid 2020s police is dead. In fact, M:I needs to go even more secretive than the 60s and 80s TV shows. Look at the "Matrix" franchise's Agent Smith police. That's the kind of police you're dealing with now, in the 2020s. Personally, I'm wondering whether the movies need the TV shows' M:I teams back. Take the action down a notch, and include some cleverness. Humour is good, but this not a comedy film. You're not going to escape Europe's police. If the movie shows a car chase of 20 Italian police, and Tom Cruise escapes, my guts wrench.

<5 stars average is really under-appreciating this daily ultra-mass production. Forget the Simpsons. This show counts over 10,000 episodes by now. A bloke in his 40s here. I used to like Hollyoaks a lot, in the 2010s. The suicide episodes in the 2013s (or was it 2014s ?) were fantastic. They touched me all the way down to the bone marrow. Sadly, in 2016, the music shorts in the daily (!) episodes stopped. Top notch British Indie music, exceeding contemporary British music charts by miles - in every episode. I used to google all the bands and songs that played in this TV gem. That music was presented every day, a few seconds of each song. Seriously, google those tunes, you won't regret it. They are not on the official Hollyoaks music albums. You'll find those hidden treasures ONLY in the episodes up to 2016, or on clever googled websites. Great show.

Such good gun. Mix the spirits of adventure in Indiana Jones, historicity in The Great Escape, and goof in Marvel movies - and you get The Mummy. All those ingredients add up to a fun experience, and even make sense. In fact, when I watch this movie, I want to leave my current boring life behind, just to delve into Egypt. I just can't ignore the idea that a(nother) sequel to this movie needs to be set in Tunisia. You see, Carthage (it's ancient name) featured a giant stock exchange. A circular harbour with a trade island at its centre. It even earned its own name: cothon. I feel a Mummy sequel must be set in Carthage.

Late 2003. I was just accepted for an exchange year at a university in Edinburgh. I managed to find a private accommodation near my uni that was not on the noisy (as hell) campus. The TV license guys kept trying to visit me in person. Of course, I was out in town mostly. I bought myself a mini TV, maybe 10 inches in diametre (that's right, TV license agents), black and white screen. And the first thing I ever saw on UK telly was this show. The bike chase in the Ape episode. I swear this was the funniest thing I ever saw in my life. The pretend over-seriousness was just something else. That show IS humour. If you ever wonder if something is funny: Could it be part of that show ? Has to. Easy.

I love Kevin Sorbo as Hercules. I hate to break the news that he was playing an ancient German, albeit a stylized version. Normal people are going to be Gods. In the actual image of God. A few Romans were Gods. Hercules was a Demi-god. A half-god. Not quite human. A German. Mostly hate. But quite something. Listen to Roman emperor Caesar's account on Germans. The German men by themselves strike fear into your bones, already. And wait until you see their wives. In tandem, they are invincible. Caesar's quotes are along those lines. Those were Rome's Hercules's. Ancient Germans were proud of the flattering depiction. May this theory/conflation age as well as the series.