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Saltburn (2023)
4/10
Lame
30 December 2023
Who was he talking to at the beginning? Mr exposition? Makes no sense. Terrible character development...the main character has no personality whatsoever or motivation. Even the reveal with his family is lame. Gratuitous scenes for shock value only. Rushed lame ending. The actor dancing naked at the end... imagine if it was male director and female lead. It had potential but I guess the writer / director couldn't figure out what to do with it. Try making the characters three dimensional for a start. The rich family were cardboard cut outs. I just don't get the high reviews. What a pathetic film!
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Beef (2023– )
8/10
Loved it!
12 May 2023
I've seen hundreds of shows and tried hundreds more. Most are poor. This show is great. The writing is sophisticated, clever and funny. The characters are three dimensional. The acting, especially the two leads, is exceptional. The directing and music is great. This is rare! I would give it a 9 but it's just the first season, so I'm holding back. Plus there are a few issues which I won't go into because they didn't ruin the overall story. I kind of hope there's not a second season because I can't see where the story would go. I suspect there will be and it will probably disappoint. But I wouldn't blame them to follow the money. Hope you enjoy it too.
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Tenet (2020)
1/10
You need a degree in time travel to enjoy this
26 August 2020
Bad casting. Unconvincing acting. Unlikeable, one dimensional characters. Annoying dialogue you can barely hear because of mumbling or loud background noise. Exposition galore. Pointless and nonsensical action scenes. Cliché bad guy. Trying to be too clever. Waste of time and money.
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1/10
Torturous
16 June 2015
If you want to know what hell is like then watch this film.

It's a two hour action film with a pointless and meaningless story. It was actually painful to watch because it was so relentless in its attempt to shock and freak out the audience.

To sum up the film: it's a 2 hour car chase with boring characters. It's predictable and ridiculous at times.

I found myself laughing at certain points. The quote at the end was as laughable as the film itself. I actually laughed after leaving the cinema because I was in shock over what I'd just witnessed

I have no idea why this film is so highly rated. The art of story telling and movie making seems to be slowly dying a death.
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Cloud Atlas (2012)
1/10
Yawn Fest
5 August 2013
I haven't been on IMDb for a while, but thought people need to be warned about paying good money for this film. It is quite simply boring and trying to be meaningful. It's not clever or entertaining, but rather a bunch of rather silly stories all played by the same actors. I can't believe I wasted my time and money on this film. I didn't come away wanting to know more. But just in case, I checked online to see if I missed anything important (like you do for something like TV show Lost) and I didn't find anything meaningful. If you want to get raise important issues of topics such as injustice etc, you don't need to make a convoluted film like this.
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Cedar Rapids (2011)
6/10
A Real Gem
6 May 2011
I have to admit that when I saw the poster for this, I thought it looked lame. I then checked out IMDb and saw it had 7.2. I still wasn't convinced. I then only watched it because it was the only film on at the time I wanted to go out. And I'm glad I did. This film is gem - a mix between an indie film, dark comedy and farce. It kind of reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite but not as quirky. This film is funny and really enjoyable on so many levels. The cast is perfect - all performing above and beyond. John C Reilly is a legend in this film and just about steals the show from Ed Helms. I suggest you go watch this film expecting very little and you'll come away feeling like you've just been given a free gift, unlike most films which rob you!
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Four Lions (2010)
1/10
Four Boring Worse than Stereotypes - Dull and Not Funny
2 September 2010
This film has very little to offer in terms of entertainment value.

Most reviews are positive but don't believe them unless you're the sort of person who considers yourself a comedy intellectual but really has no clue.

Yes it's a brave subject matter, but it was touted as a funny British comedy, which is isn't. I confess to turning it off after 40 minutes which is something I hardly ever do, but I didn't want to waste my time.

A bad movie (like this) is the worst kind of thief - it steals your money and time.

This film should not have made it into the cinema. If you're curious, wait for it to come onto Film 4 very very soon.
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Repo Men (2010)
2/10
Stupid pointless film
19 April 2010
What can I say? 2 out of 10 at best.

Stupid Concept - repo men cutting out people's mechanical livers, hearts etc when they can't make the repayments on them. I know I'm meant to suspend my disbelief, but it's implausible to the extreme. Surely, you'd simply zap people and take them to the hospital to remove them properly- - not cut them open with a knife! The rest of the storyline was stupid and predictable.

Directing - all over the place.

Visual Experience - Looked very low budget. Not convincing it was set in the future apart from the cliché shots. Why does the future always contain loads of tall buildings and stupid advertising everywhere (a poor man's Blade Runner)? Also, why is there a smart car in the future. Lets hope not! Acting - Jude Law was poor and so was the woman. Forrest was OK, but he over did it a bit. Good cast wasted.

Characters – dull and unconvincing. Not a believable character or relationship in the film.

The ending – some say it's clever, but it made no sense. Why would Forrest do that (you'll understand if you ignore my review)? The violence in this film was over the top and unnecessary and trying to make up for a weak storyline. The violence and gore at the end was pointless.

Don't waste your time on it!
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Avatar (2009)
7/10
Shold not win best film Oscar
19 January 2010
This film is a triumph for special effects, 3D and James Cameron's film making abilities, but that's it I'm afraid. District 9, without all the special effects, is a far better movie, but will probably receive nil recognition at the Globes or Oscars etc.

The story is pretty unoriginal when you think about it. Only a young person (under 16) will think it's new. Very predictable too. The characters were really dull and cliché. It was also way too long.

Despite the special effects extravaganza, I didn't leave the cinema thinking WOW! I did say WOW after the Matrix which had both a solid and original story and great new special effects.

Avatar should not win best film at the Oscars unless best film is just about having great special effects.

Call me old fashioned, but I hope 3D films don't take over. I much prefer 2D films. There's something to be said for watching a story and not being sucked into the cinema screen. Plus I hate wearing silly glasses for several hours which mess with your normal vision. You spend most of your time looking for the next 3D moment, rather than soaking up the story.
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1/10
Self indulgent and disappointing
31 August 2009
I loved Pulp Fiction, True Romance and Reservoir Dogs. Kill Bill V1 and Dusk till Dawn were entertaining. This film is not as good as any of those movies. The story is a childish fantasy that only Tarantino can get away with turning into a film. The dialogue wasn't up to the Tarantino standard and the violence was contrived. It really was a silly story which lacked intelligence. On the plus side there was some good acting from Christoph Waltz and Melanie Laurent. It was enjoyable on a level hence why I have given it 5 out of 10, but I can't bring myself to give it anymore votes that this. An easily forgettable film! Don't believe the high score on IMDb. The only time I write a review on IMDb is when I love a film so much that I have to tell the world, or if I feel that people are being misled by the IMDb review.
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4/10
The Boring case of Benjamin Boring
20 August 2009
I had high hopes for this film, although I heard it was a bit dull, so wasn't expecting miracles. Plus I really like David Fincher (Fight Club and Seven are superb) This film was worse than expected. How on earth did it get nominated for an Oscar. The story was so boring. Yes, a baby starts out old and gets younger, but so what? There was barely a story to support the concept. You could tell it wasn't based on a novel because it had no substance whatsoever. It was based on a short story and they dragged it out and out and out to death. I didn't feel any emotion during this film or for any of the characters. Benjamin was so boring it was painful. This film had nothing to say. I have no idea what the clock story was about at the start and how it related to the Benjamin story. And how would the dying woman know about this story? They could have made this film without it. It seems that plenty of people like this film for some reason. Maybe I missed all the symbolism and metaphors - nonsense!
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7/10
Really funny
27 April 2009
I've yet to write a good review on IMDb about any film. Normally I'm enraged with a bad film. However, this film is a gem. The story concept is a bit silly, but the rest of it is excellent. Paul Rudd puts in an excellent performance - his comic timing is superb. It was like watching The Office at times. The great thing about this film is that it works as a lads film and a chick flick. Not an easy thing to do. Jason Segel is also very funny as the new best friend. So...all you men out there, go ring up your best friend and get them to go to the cinema to watch this film with you. If you don't have a best mate or close friends, then go watch it on your own. Then afterwards, go find a best mate.
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4/10
Wait for it to come on TV
27 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I didn't hate this film, but I didn't really like it either. It had some funny moments, but not enough to keep my interest. The story was boring and silly at times. There's a lot of lame dialogue and several pointless scenes to compensate for the lack story. If you want to watch a no brainer comedy with little imagination, then this is the film for you. The final scene with the flasher is probably the funniest moment, if you can stomach a fat man's genitals bouncing up and down in slow motion for what seems like a very long time. It's hard to tell if he is a man because his tackle is very small. Sorry, I'm trying to fill up 10 lines here. Just watch "I Love You Man" instead.
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1/10
Terrible, Awful, Horrible
20 April 2009
I really enjoyed Crank 1. Despite being a bit over the top, the story was pretty solid and the pace was excellent. Crank 2 is one of the worst films I've seen in a long time. The story is terrible, the acting is awful, and even the action is lame. There's one scene where they don't even fight and replace it with some kind of dodgy animation. Very poor indeed. It looks as if it were written by a chimp and a porn star - no brain power required There are some funny moments, but not enough to redeem this film. What's next, Crank 3 where he's dressed as a mummy (you'll understand). Only a idiot would like this film. Seems to be plenty of them out there. There are thousands of good scripts out there, so why did they make this in to a film. Shame on Hollywood!
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RocknRolla (2008)
1/10
Oh Dear
10 September 2008
I'm surprised this film has such high ratings on IMDb. Weak disjointed story which went off at a tangent and was not remotely clever (unlike Snatch and Lock Stock); poor dialogue that was neither witty nor funny; dull characters - none of whom were interesting or convincing; exposition galore (mostly via an annoying voice over); bad acting by some of the cast, not very funny (apart from a couple of chuckles). It's a poor man's Snatch and Lock Stock (which are excellent). A lot of it made very little sense. Jeremy Piven was wasted. Terrible ending which made little or no sense, that implied the real 'hopefully' better version of the film was yet to come. Was this the rubbish version that I paid for. It looks as if it was written by Madonna.
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