Reviews

"Heroes aren't born, they're cornered". I didn't know Mickey Rooney said that, but according to Dean Fox (James Belushi) , he did. I couldn't agree more. It takes guts to try pull off an adventure of this nature, involving unsatisfied, lonely mature ladies, but it takes guts too to make a hero, inasmuch as the word can imply.

Lately we've seen a string of movies involving mature, horny ladies, most of them forgettable disasters. I was unsure about this one, but all things put together, it was an enjoyable movie. The theme, yes, might be risqué, but it was a well done and mature story. Several acting roles are highlights in this one. Kyle Gardner, as Sam, made some powerful scenes as the young escort service manager, too young to tackle a venture of this nature, but yet, mature enough to behave responsibly and respectfully. The scenes involving heart to heart conversations with his High School Dean were well done. James Belushi, of course, is a veteran of such, and I couldn't help smiling at his conversational quirks and facial expressions. So like Belushi.

That is another of the strengths of this movie. It never vilified or sullied women, whatever their sexual preferences, nor did it ever make them look vulgar or cheap. These women craved love, there were some nice, horny boys around willing to please, the ladies were willing to pay for a good time together, Sam needed the money to pay for his tuition, so you had a deal. There was no attempt to make things seem dirty, it was just a circumstance that happened. The nice thing about it, too, no one ended up as enemies. Everyone was mature enough to understand the situation and act accordingly, so despite the obvious scandal in the end, the story ended well for everybody. It was not a fairy tale ending either, in case you think this was another tear-jerker. Everything was plausible and very believable.

There was no stupid behavior, brainless monkeying around, boys acting stupidly like I've seen in other movies. That too was another plus in this one. The ladies were pretty and nice to them, the boys were also nice and gentlemanly with the ladies. I think the screenwriter of this plot likes women and respects them, and it shows in the story. That's so nice to see.

But like everything in life, there are consequences. The final 'showdown' talk between Sam and his friend Dean Fox was heartbreaking, but so very very true these days, where families are dysfunctional and...well. not quite families anymore. Powerful acting in this scene. Both actors show their talent.

Bottom line, then, not a ten-pin-bowling strike of a flick, but very enjoyable, intelligently done, and time well-spent. Highlights notwithstanding, when you think of it, this is a very difficult movie to film and pull off.

I think you will like the style of this one.

Another day in paradise...no, in Bangkok (again). Another movie based on the less appealing side of Thailand...let's see: a cute Thai girl following a black guy (something smacks of a stereotype which porn films have successfully exploited), a sleazy Aussie involved with the underworld = honestly, I think this was one of Kevin Bacon's worst acting roles ever - i.e., girls, bar scenes, supplier of guns ... this guy has an arsenal!, then more big guns as the hit-man decides he needs to kill more people, and then even bigger guns when the hit-man decides he needs to kill even bigger numbers!

And Kevin Bacon with an Aussie accent? C'mon now, why an Aussie? Because Aussie's regard Thailand as one of their fav spots for drinking and whoring? What's this, a cliché?

In all this, the little Thai girl's role isn't clear until the end when we find out she is somehow linked to a white elephant that the head honcho keeps as a pet of sorts. I'm not sure what "new meaning" this entailed for the hit-man, but there you have it if you want to find out. I didn't understand it. Then, near the end, we have the dude saying goodbye with a new dress as a gift and a stash of foreign money - huh? it is unbelievable what a cheap image of Thailand such movies give, not just abroad, but within as well. It is no secret people there, girls especially, look upon foreigners as walking banks.

What was an intelligent director like Mr. Prachya Pinkaew trying to do here, other than give the World another vision of violence and sleaze which is prevalent in some circles in his otherwise beautiful country? Of course, it's all money, is it not? That is why he brought in Kevin Bacon and Djimon Hounsou, whom I watched in disbelief after remembering them in great movies like "A Few Good Men" and "Amistad". Big names, maybe, to adorn something akin to what you see in Thai TV every day? Guns, killing, brutalizing young girls...well, about 20 minutes into the film I said to myself: "Who made this? another Thai mentality, I'm sure", and when the end credits rolled by - there it was, true to type!

But maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself, because even though I am not Thai, I have been in Thailand some 6 or 7 times now, and every time I am impressed by the people, usually sweet, loving, and kind. In this the girl Mae (should be spelled 'Mei', the Thai form), -Jirantanin Pitakporntrakul- acted her part perfectly as the embodiment of what a nice girl behaves like in general. Her acting and expressions were spot on with what I have also seen many times there. I believe she single-handedly saved the movie in some way. Back dropping to another film of similar nature (Bangkok Dangerous, yeah, another based-in-Bangkok hit man movie - man, they churn these out by numbers there, don't they?), it was the girl, the deaf-mute who played Nick Cage's love interest, who gave some sense to that flick.

Back to 'Elephant White', I couldn't understand why Mae chose Curtie Church (Djimon Hounsou) as her 'avenging angel', since she repeatedly warned him about killing so many people. The Buddhist belief pleads forgiveness, understanding and acceptance. What I somehow understood was that as he was the one hired by the Head Honcho's son (disguised), to avenge 'his daughter's death' (how come a seasoned hit man didn't see through trick?), she became involved, although you will learn things go somewhat deeper, if you can get through the jumpy scenes, poorly filmed actions, disconnected story lines, incoherent sub-plots.

If you want to see naked Thai girls being forced into prostitution, drugs being injected between their toes, bullied, killing after killing, an Aussie and a hit-man in a silly rent-my-guns-today-but-break-my-nose-tomorrow, then this is the movie for you. Oh, and don't forget the everlasting dogma posted at the end, "2 million girls are forced into prostitution and slavery", a figure that has been disputed by serious authorities both in Thailand and abroad. Again, another negative check - no wonder every time I am asked 'where did you go', and I say Bangkok or Thailand, I spot the sneaky, suspicious expressions on people's faces. It's an image that unfortunately has become de facto thanks to movies and other media like this.

Aren't there more interesting and beautiful dramas and stories to be told from or in Thailand? Many places have some wonderful legends. How about a nice drama?

Why not tell some of these?

or horns coming out of your forehead.

Aladdin's mission is basically that: find the lost treasure of Minos (the Colossus' head), and in the interim, overcome a few perils, or should I say "perils", such as an evil dark mage and his human fighter/horror necro ghoul, an island whose inhabitants turn into would-be 'minotaurians' from some kind of curse, some thugs here and there also intent on stopping him, and of course, the infamous minotaur, a CG-created enormous bull that bellows and stomps its way through a cave called a labyrinth (of course), flaming red eyes and no other grotesque features other than a hideous head and ginormous horns.

But to Aladdin, all these are just "details, details", as he often interjects during the movie. I don't ever recall thinking of Aladdin as a throw-all-caution-to-the wind guy, strutting into all kinds of 'unknown' dangers, and when entering the 'labyrinth', (careful! the minotaur!), "details, details". About half-way through the movie, just sitting there dumbly watching this, I am wondering where this is all going, or what exactly is this supposed to be. For a fairy-tale story, it falls pitifully short. For special effects, it is not that highly budgeted an adventure. For teaching some lessons or morals, nothing either. Appealing to an adult audience - not unless you've got less than half a brain. For children, some parts maybe, but it was much too violent and gory for a young audience (ripping off body parts and horns going right through and breaking off). The story was also poorly scripted and acted out, and I say this, not because it had to be a highly paid or budgeted film, but because it lacked substance and imagination.

How many movies have I seen throughout the years, seemingly uninspiring and old story-based, but made with such dedication and inspiration, you fail to notice they're old? Way back, even, in the days when, as a kid, I was mesmerized by 'Jason and the Argonauts', 'Clash of Titans', 'Sinbad the Sailor' (and there were a host of these with similar themes), many of them not big movies, but most left something, which today, sadly, is lacking in many of such.

No need to say more, I believe. You get the picture.

Yevgenia Ginzburg was a literature Professor in the University of Kazan in the 1930's. In those days, Kazan, was a Russian province, under the control of Moscow, with Stalin at the peak of his power. Those days were among the darkest times in Russian history, days marked with persecution, treachery, executions, mass disappearances of anyone considered an enemy of the State or Stalin, whether real or invented. Those were the days when the infamous Russian Gulags were in full force, concentration camps set in the bitter Siberian landscape, marked with hardships, and the long, bitter, below 50+ Celsius winters. Those were the days when both men's and women's mettles were tested to the limit, where people showed either their better sides or their worst. The spirit and strength of survival was the constant companion of such then. This movie is based on Ms. Ginzburg's memoirs, "Gulag: Many Days, Many Lives", where she was banished for 12 years for allegedly participating in the Trotskyist terrorist counter-revolutionary group, a group accused of conspiring against the Russian state by plotting the defeat of the then U.S.S.R. by capitalist countries, and murder their communist leaders. Stalin's purges targeted all these, among others. The labor, suffering, solidarity, survival, of Ginzburg and her fellow inmates are vividly depicted in this biographical epic. You will see incomprehensible hatred among the prisoners of different backgrounds. You will see deep sacrifices people had to make to stay alive. You will see gang violence and rape, as women were forced to sell their bodies for a loaf of bread. You will see prisoners having to make good judgments as to whom to trust and whom not as a key to survival. You will see heroic actions taken by everyday people to protect each other from death from the elements or from being simply shot by the brutal guards. And you will see deep gratitude, simple happiness even if for just a moment, and motherly love. The ensuing love between the camp's doctor and Ginzburg was, I believe, a just reward for the immense trials these two had endured over the years. The ending, which I will not spoil for you, will leave your mind turning for a while, and then, wonder in amazement. Ms. Watson was at her best. All the parts were well done. Veteran actor Ian Hart as the infamous Beylin was excellent. That part when he yells at Ginzburg when she refused to sign her confession - even I was startled; it was well done. There was no attempt to dress up any parts or make them over emotional or sentimental. No, the story unfolds as it would in everyday life, in black and white, with no attempt to overdress anything. If any parts drive you to tears, it is from imagining how and what you would have done had you been there. I lived in Russia for 3 years, working as a University Professor. Much of what I saw in the movie triggered old memories. I found myself saying over and over, "Just as I saw it!" The intrigues surrounding your job and status in Russia is still accurate to this day, although the danger of imprisonment no longer exists. So, dear friends, if you wish to spend the better part of 2 hours watching a story which will keep you spellbound and mesmerized until the end, without a moment of boredom, this is the movie to watch, enjoy, and appreciate. A story of people having lost all will to live, and how with a little help and compassionate love, this will is renewed. This is the story of one woman whose strength and determination inspired others, as it still does today, as I hope will inspire you as well.

After watching this flick this evening, I am now looking hard for something I saw really worthwhile, something moving, something not a stereotype or cliché, something not seen before or unique, something I can say to you,like: "Hey, I'd like to recommend this one because...", but, I can't think of anything.

These ideas they come up with for Christmas stories are really annoying sometimes. Haven't we seen something similar and probably better put before? A top New York (when not) publicist catches her boyfriend in a compromising situation with her lady-boss and quits her job, then after fruitlessly searching, decides to take a position working for the Mayor of a small town in Montana (again, sameo sameo), doesn't exactly fit in with the local small town life (no surprises?), finds out they have a climber's rescue team but not enough money to buy the equipment they need, so drums up the 'brainy' idea to have 12 of the town's Adonises pose semi-naked for a calendar to produce profits to meet the goals? Well, admittedly, if you are in a place this small with limited resources, you bring out your think tank and go the distance, but honestly, after the first 45 minutes or so, everything was so humdrum I was becoming bored.

The plot had some gaps that made me mentally race ahead to try understand what was going on. Then in romantic affairs, I got mixed up with who was dating who and who had a crush on who and so on and on. The only thing that stood out was that E.J. Baxter (Kristin Chenoweth) and Will Albrecht (Josh Hopkins) were slicing each other up into ribbons ever since they met, but during the last 30 minutes or so, they found out they liked each other and fall in love, or something like that anyway (surprise!). So with the right mixture of improbabilities and copycat ideas, we produce this movie called "12 Men of Christmas" (why Christmas anyway - unless referring to the general period in which things took place). If trying to place a happy, hopeful feeling about the season, well, this movie failed to get that feeling moving - it was pretty banal and hum-drum. I felt suddenly empty and missing something.

As for the rest, you find yourself really stretching imagination a bit here to understand how they created a wannabe feel-good story that doesn't leave anything to think about, cherish, comment on, criticize constructively, or learn something for posterity's sake, if nothing more. There was nothing noted in the acting either, usual lame not-good not-bad stuff.

Honestly, I watched this one because I had nothing better to do, and I was enjoying my supper meanwhile. MY supper, how was it? Good! This movie, 12 Men of Christmas? Are you kiddin'?

Hurricane season begins? Psychology therapist returns from vacation? Therapy group takes its end crawl? We fall in love and finally become committed to a lasting relationship (hopefully)? We are able to accept and understand our limitations and fears and move on to more fulfilling lives? Answer: All of the above.

'See You in September' is not a heartbreaking, tearful drama, but an even paced, nicely written story about regular people like you and me, each with their fears, problems and woes, that spell, unfortunately in these cases, disaster in having, keeping, or beginning relationships conducive to love and marriage. The plot was nice, and I admit becoming interested in it because of the theme, which reminded me of something in that 1990's movie "What About Bob?", when Bill Murray's character falls apart when his therapist (played by Richard Dreyfuss), takes off on his month long vacation and leaves his patient to fend by himself. The results in that one were hilarious. In this one, the heroine decides to do something about it, not by taking off to stalk her therapist (loved seeing Whoopi Goldberg in this short performance), like Bob did, but by putting out an ad on Craigslist for other affected parties to come together and vent their problems. Well, you'll have to see the results for yourself and decide. One thing for sure: it takes a jab at psycho analytical therapists and you ask yourself why we need them, when solutions are better obtained and understood by discussing things together and standing up to do what is right.

I'm a therapist myself. Far from giving people a crutch to hold on to or an escape route to solve their problems, I stress the same lesson this movie teaches: the answers are within ourselves. We just have to know how to find them, which is where good therapy comes in. I found this story, despite not being the best one I've seen, did the job well, despite its shortcomings.

Of course, this is a movie. Things tend to work out magically in movies, not so easily in real life, right? But as this review is about the movie, and not the logistics of the storyline, what I can truthfully say is that it was a nice 90 minute interlude with what we all know can happen if we give it a chance.

The acting, however, was not the best, on the part of some. I couldn't help notice that some parts were believable enough, but the rest were a letdown. The film, then, felt unbalanced: strong and nicely done on the one hand, weak and even a bit boring on the other. Justin Kirk stands out here. Kirk's character as the bitter-sweet A.J. made me laugh and caught me off guard more than once, but I liked the way he portrayed the man who is not looking for perfection, but nevertheless, was the perfect man for Lindsay despite being part of a therapy group himself. She didn't believe in committing, he thought all women were blood-suckers...but what was the real story? You'll have to watch and find out.

Putting it all together, then, a nice, clean movie, no sex scenes, and few cusswords except when making a point. Considering the horrid releases I've seen lately, this one was not a waste of time.

The flick's real title is "The Gunslingers", although what gunslingers we have here would draw derision.

Let's see, let's take the 'gunslinger' description and see how it matches. I have viewed dozens of gunfighting movies, all the way back beginning with the 1960's. I recall how awed I was then with Yul Brynner's "The Magnificent Seven", and that passion for gunfighting movies continued throughout my adolescence, with every single one of Clint Eastwood's, title after title of the Italian "spaghetti" westerns, including all of the Django, Sartana, Gringo,....well, the list is quite long. But compared to this one, those movies WERE movies, cheesy and poorly filmed as most were. There was some plot you could follow, most of the time, and the filming, although perhaps not the best, could be mentally and physically understood and followed.

But this one is almost a disgrace to the gunfighting theme. There was no real theme that you could say could be understood. The hero does not join any band. Rather, those that were with him - and you'd have to stretch your imagination a bit to understand who's with who here, everything was a jumping around between scenes, suddenly focusing one character you don't know where it came from, and then another, and another - were not following anybody really. The girl Azumi was seeking revenge for the death of her sister; that was the only thing that stuck to my mind. The rest was a confusing morass of subplots and turns that made no sense.

I didn't see any gunslingers, just a bunch of people who shot each other like children in a playground. I didn't know guns when shot sounded like firecrackers. I just wonder who wrote the synopsis of this story, because I must say if this isn't a blatant attempt to dress up one of the worst movies made, I don't know what is.

There are no lessons or morals that stand out here, nothing so significant as 'greed doesn't pay' or some-such. Everybody for some reason is after some gold, no one knows why or how that gold got there, and to tell the truth, there was no gold. Just the bad guys holding up some black triangular shiny rock.

I'll tell you the ecstasy I felt with this one: I dozed off a couple of times. During those few minutes of blissfully floating in the dark ethereal, it came to me that this is the only ecstasy I will experience during these 90 minutes. But of course if you are in the mood for bad experiences, then you might find 'Ecstasy of Gold' a.k.a. 'The Gunslingers' right up your alley.

I had not seen Paul Gross since Passchendaele, and Sienna Guillory since The Time Machine. This was a pleasure to see them work together in a movie made for the enjoyment of everyone.

There is little else I can add to the above reviews, all of them quite accurate, except, I would not call this movie a forgettable waste of time. Comedy it is, yes, more tongue-in-cheek, but I know I wore a smile throughout the viewing because of the light-hearted-attempting-to be-serious story. On more than one occasion I could not resist laughing at the irresistible parodies. Some clichés were a bit silly, but not irritating.

Not so for The Montana Kid. A hardened gunfighter used to killing and death, is not easily swayed by pretty smiles and kind words, nor clueless people (hence the word clueless in my title). What can a hardened killer want with a small town full of innocent, warm people, living what appears to be in a dream world, who had never seen a gunfight, let alone a hardened killer (or was he)?

Lots of pleasant moments in this movie, one I'll want to watch again in time. But, that is not the best of it. The best part lies in this question: Can a town free of guilt and murderous hatred help a seasoned gunman to change his ways and thinking, helping him to find forgiveness and peace, without being bossy, or preachy, or pushy in any way? Moreover, can a wanted man, with a bounty on his head, learn the spirit of self-sacrifice and redemption, to protect those he has come to love and appreciate? That final scene, when both Montana and his lady love Jane were facing the bounty hunter was touching, showed the true nature of my previous statement, especially because of how they both played this out.

A really nice movie, friends! Worth every moment! Take your kids too! The fact that there isn't any real sex, violence is low-key, no foul language, does not make it a worthless movie. Nor is it a stupid comedy.

I never thought I'd see a low budget flick this good! Give it a go, friends!

I remember when I was 17 years old, I fell in love with a girl who mesmerized me, with a lovely face, freckled nose and cheeks, a smile that could make you soar all the way to heaven, lovely, full bosom, and full hips that could make you wish you could wrap your arms around and never let go. Perfect, shapely legs I couldn't keep my eyes from. Yes, that was my 'Anya-itis', even though her name was not Anya.

She didn't love me, though, although we were very fond of each other. There was another boy she fancied, a bit older than I, who, sadly, ended up dumping her. By then, I had moved away, and those pleasant dreams had faded. Pity. But with her domineering mother and my domineering mother, we would never have stood a chance anyway.

However, I must agree with reviewer yeatsforkeats. Even though this is a teen love story, it isn't tiring or boring or stupid like so many others we've seen lately. I don't actually like viewing stupid, teen, movies. Seeing, though, how refreshing this one seemed to be, I decided to give it a chance, and I am glad I did. It was worth it. The whole movie is rather predictable, but somehow, you don't get bored or irritated with it, wondering where this is going, or where and when it will end.

I have never seen the girl that plays Anya before (Scout Taylor-Compton), or the boy that plays Victor. But she made me wish I were Victor's age again. Victor, innocent and a bit of a nerd, learning for the first time what love is about. Makes you wish things could stay that innocent when you grow up. Anya, more a woman than he is a man, of course, behaved like an intelligent girl, going for the guy that was laying all he had at her feet, instead of the rich boy who owned an expensive sports car and was only after sex. Both kids were lucky they had understanding parents too. There were a few things here and there that seemed a bit far fetched, but perhaps it would be better to let you judge these for yourself. Were Victor's hiccups due to nervousness, insecurity, or something else? I couldn't quite decide, but seeing how he got kisses from Anya to help drive them away, I stopped mentally debating the subject. You decide when you view it.

So, did I enjoy the movie? Yes! Would I watch it again when in the mood? Most definitely. Just watching those coy looks Anya gave Victor makes it all worthwhile. You'd wish you were in Victor's shoes, and that is no exaggeration.

A posthumous interview with Oscar Wilde, author of "The Picture of Dorian Gray", on which this movie was based: Interviewer: Mr. Wilde, you became famous before death. Could you tell us if this movie captured the essence of your book? OW: As you know, my poignant, witty and sharp opinions on issues of life, most of which people did not dare touch upon in my day, made me a man apart. I was obsessed with the soul, and all doctrines pertaining, for a long time. My story of "Dorian Gray" is a portrayal of my own struggle and the resulting pain forthwith, of how it affected me and the people around me. Whether or not you think this movie qualifies as an adequate representation is up to you to decide.

Interviewer: Dorian Gray falls into narcissism to such extremes, it lead him to his own destruction. Did this represent any hidden tendencies or morality issues in yourself? Do you think the movie legitimized the essence of your book here? OW: I am amazed to see how many people saw this movie without ever reading my book, or even understanding it. When I wrote the book, I was married to my long-suffering wife Constance, and we had 2 sons, to whom I was a good father. I don't think I was a narcissist, but I did have homosexual affairs with other men, especially good looking ones, whom I even courted openly, much to the grief of my family and the resulting public scandals. I also paid for sexual favors from young boys. However, though male beauty mesmerized me, I believed in being a moralist, which explains my continuous struggle with matters of faith and religion, God, Christ, and the Bible. I am not sure how much of this, if any, was captured in the movie. I've read it seems an endless parade of debauchery, sex, and murder. Above all, Dorian Gray is a story about struggle, intense personal turmoil. Was that apparent in the film? Interviewer: So would you say Dorian Gray was a picture of a man's weakness? OW: Yes. My own wife declared once I was weak, misguided, but not wicked. That was after my fame and wealth took a downturn. She was right, of course. Maybe trying to reconcile my religious beliefs played a part, but fundamentally, I wanted to show with Dorian Gray that one cannot serve 2 masters, and in this, I borrowed heavily from my own experience, and from what I learned from the Bible. After all, wasn't this how the Devil came into being? One cannot barter, trade, or sell one's soul without nefarious consequences, something which I often criticized about religion too, mostly my own Anglican faith and Catholicism, to which I was also attracted. This endless doubting and struggling does not strengthen the soul, but weakens it.

Interviewer: On a final note, would you recommend watching this movie? OW: As a representation of my book, it is grotesque. The Gothic atmosphere, filming, strong effects and acting were flawless, but it misrepresented what I wrote, so the viewer should take this one on a personal basis.

Interviewer: Thank you Mr. Wilde.

And nodding by the fire, Take down this book, And slowly read, and Dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;"

So begins that famous poem written by one of the greatest poets ever, William Butler Yeats, in his "When You Are Old". If I am correct, Yeats wrote that poem to a girl he still loved, pleading with her to look into the future when she would be 'old and grey', and she'd look back in time and regret the moments she might have missed. He also assures her of his unconditional, undying love.

In essence, this is the theme that inspired the making of this movie. In its short 80 minute duration, it borrows heavily from some of Yeats ideas, striving to show us that old people (Hanna played well by veteran actress Jean Simmons) was just one of many - a tired, sick old lady who didn't want to lose out on the beauty of life, who constantly remembered old experiences, thoughts, and cherished these. Frequently, such elderly ones are overlooked, and misunderstood; most are just often abandoned by their relatives, children, who now live the fast life in a fast World. Few spend time with them, fewer even take the time to reassure them of their undying love. So, it is no wonder that Hannah befriends a young boy, a helper, willing to keep her company and listen/read to her. But, one day, along comes the son with his 2 kids for a long overdue visit! The kids take well to the boy, but not so the father, who at once feels threatened by his presence.

I remember years ago I used to work as a volunteer caretaker for some elderly, and I learned then that the single most valuable commodity one can give them is precisely that: your time, coupled with love, of course. Casting some sun on those shadows that threaten them is about time, and listening, not judging, criticizing, or bullying. This movie illustrates that well.

It is a slow-paced flick, one to see on an afternoon or evening when you're not in the mood to think, or to see anything too dramatic or exciting. Warm up your favorite tea, get some cookies, and watch this tale unfold. There were, I must say, some things I would have liked to see rounded out, like the love affair between Hanna's granddaughter and the boy. There were also a few other things that could've been brought to a nicer conclusion, I think. But, OK, looking at it impartially, it was not boring if you take the time to follow closely, but neither was it the best of the rest. The scenery was really nice, though, Norfolk, England. If you've never been there, here's your chance to pay a virtual visit.

Loved the wreck, though! Would like to see it sometime in person!

After you've watched this movie, you can call it both ways, especially after Danny Devito's 2 sons, Ryan Hansen as Elliot, and Skyler Stone as Quinn, are done. Talk about what have to be the most nerdy, brainless, half-witted, clueless and screw-balled airheads - these 2 and their pack of equally dumb friends. Their girlfriends weren't much better either.

It was a pleasure, though, to see Danny DeVito once again. After all these years, he proves that he hasn't lost his touch, ever so excellent. That expression he has when arching his brow and puckering his lips, signaling he's about to drum up something, cracks me up still just as it did way back when he made Twins with Arnold Schwarzenegger. In this movie, boy does he have a handful with his dysfunctional misfits, an airhead of a wife not willing to live without "her boys", a wacky neighbor in the persona of Tom Wilson (yes, the very same "Biff" from Back to the Future), and a firefighter friend he hires with a pet snake to scare off the Brady bunch (John Farley as "Nate").

But our hero, now ex-Fire Chief and Firefighter Captain, has no intention of spending his retirement accompanied by screwballs, be they his sons or not. Oh no! he has a whole plan drawn up to teach these guys to be men, and move on. Does he succeed? Well, you'll have to find out.

What I take exception to is the constant and varied sexual innuendos, not played down either - but really crass and crude. There were several moments where public references to both male and female genitalia were made; I do not see what this had to do with the plot, or how it contributed to the story, other than cheapening it unnecessarily. Lots of dildos illustrating their function - at one time, the elder plays at putting one in his brother's mouth while sleeping. There was a scene with a dummy which I thought sick and unnecessary, and the list goes on.

This, primarily, is what prompted my low score. It isn't a flick you'll want to watch with your family, especially not young kids. So if you watch this, make sure whomever is with you (if anyone) is mature enough and will not take undue offense at such portrayal of what nowadays is called 'humor'.

That being said, a few laughs and giggles are on the menu, tainted, sadly, with a lot of mindless humor and crude language/behavior.

Val Kilmer, looking nice and swank, heavier... but I still miss the old days when he played roles like the Saint. Then, we saw a much sharper, expressive, and exciting Kilmer. In this movie, Kilmer plays a doctor who becomes mistaken for a secret agent/diamond dealer, with the usual nefarious consequences. The story does try to keep you interested till the very end, but I felt Kilmer was a bit of a letdown.

The movie takes place in Bulgaria, not Chechenya, and from there, moves to Prague. Most of the supporting actors seem to be slavic, but they all acted well. I could find no fault there. The girl, Katrine (Izabella Miko) is beautiful and acted well too.

The main plot is not about saving anyone mysterious, nor protecting her from assailants. The girl is a secret double agent, working both for a British group seeking to control a diamond cartel, and the Bulgarian/Czech people who also want control of the same. The girl bumps into Kilmer, while running from being captured taking pictures for the Brits, kiss to make believe it was intentional to shake them off, and that begins a love affair, so strong, both were willing to risk their lives for the other. Whether or not you believe this is highly improbable depends on your definition of the word, but that is the plot, in a nutshell.

This is not to say that the movie is just a frivolous jamboree of hastily made-up story lines. No, it was OK, considering the story is nothing new, and similar plots have been used many times before. It would be a mistake to compare this movie with older ones of similar ideas, such as 007 Diamonds Are Forever. Such movies were a tour de force. It would be an injustice to make such comparisons, so the best thing to do, I guess, is just to take this one as a standalone, and judge it by its own merit. Doing so, it is not a shining accomplishment, but neither does it fail miserably.

So, bottom line: "will I like it?" If you like this kind of plot, it will keep you interested, but you'll have to follow the story carefully to avoid becoming confused. I know I did until I started doing some facial recognition. Despite the blasé storyline, it's not a bad waste of time.

There is a question mark after the title of my review above, and with good reason.

The movie was well filmed, looked quite professional with nice takes and good camera-work. But everyone loves a good story and good acting. This is where the Investigators fall short.

While watching the movie, I was reminded of those old family movies we used to see in the 60's and 70's, you know the kind? With an implausible plot, poor lines, studied expressions and gestures, and the eternal ever-so-predictable story outcomes. Still, you watch because, maybe, you're bored, or have nothing else to do, or you like to perceive the scenes unfolding and be able to say "I knew that!" This is just that kind of movie. Judging from the cheesy, infantile plot, it seems it was made mainly for the very young viewers, maybe preteens who are still not old enough to piece a basic plot together and make solid decisions. So, they just watch, not to understand really, but just to see what happens next. I wonder, however, if this last remark holds much truth, because I am a drama teacher and coach, and I see many of my 6, 7 or 8 year-olds with minds that work much faster than what is implied in this movie. There were several scenes where you'd have to be either really young, or a partial moron, not to figure out.

These teen "Investigators", then, come up with the most mind-bending solutions to puzzles without too many apparent clues, drawing post-007 conclusions from thin air. "Terror Castle" was no castle and there was no terror in it, other than the creepy environs and Gothic atmosphere. The story wants to portray some kind of 'paranormal' experts and 'crime detectives'; the only thing I found 'paranormal' was these youngsters playing a potentially 'dangerous' game of 'mom and pop heroes' in bad taste.

What the "scary" Sheriff was needed for on those abandoned grounds was not explained, nor why his daughter was fascinated with reincarnation, and what she was doing in the "castle" to begin with. Everything they seemed to need to carry out their quest seemed to either pop into view, or 'magically' appeared in their backpacks. After a while of this, you start wondering if there's something you need to get done to get away, or if you should just fall asleep.

It wasn't awful, but I won't give this one more than a '3'. Your mileage might differ, but if you watch it, see if you don't agree this one is best left in the 'forgettable' bin.

Louise: Because, my love, you are going to stay there until we work things out.

And so begins this drama between a married couple with no children, he a corporate office employee, she a successful lawyer.

I agree with most all previous posters mentioned. To pull off a story that will keep you interested until the very end with just 3 major players is quite a feat. The strength lies, of course, in the powerful dialogue between them. But more than that, this story is not just a flick on failed relationships, but on WHY they fail. Luoise (Meg Ryan) cannot and will not accept the fact that Ian (Timothy Hutton), her husband, wishes to leave her. She cannot accept he has fallen in love with a lovely, younger woman. But the truth is not so simple. If you listen carefully past the hurt locker, you will hear reasons, good ones, as to why these things happen. The fault is not entirely the wife's, but it is not entirely the husband's either. What happens is that in most cases, problems never get talked about and discussed. In this story, events unfolded in such a way they were forced to.

But then again, we have the usual guilt/blame game. It took both of them quite some time to accept where they had failed, Louise much longer than Ian. In the middle, you have Sara (Kristen Bell), who obviously loved Ian and went to lengths to fight for him. In the end, as they say, may the best man (or woman) win, but if you notice carefully, there was something lacking in Ian when these scenes were being played out, something which makes you think , "Ok, now, seriously, are you gonna be a man about this or what?" I couldn't help feeling sorry for the girl - she was obviously sincere and showed it without compunction.

However, just when you think you've got it all figured out and you see the pieces falling into place, well here comes the final scene, where you say, "What? what just happened...hello? what was that? run that by me again?" and you feel like I did, like the wind had just been knocked out of me and I sat staring at the screen wondering what I saw. Ingenious! I'm sitting here writing this and still turning this scene over and over in my mind, contemplating the different possible meanings.

I don't agree the movie is a waste of time or disappointing. Don't think this is another exercise at flogging the dead horse of marital what-have-you problems. No, this is an ingenious and well-written story, a bit off the regular path, yes, and bizarre in some ways, but well done. I don't think anyone's acting was poor either. The humorous parts made me laugh, and the sad ones made me shake my head in sorrow.

Watch it and enjoy yourself! Well worth it!!

I tend to see the true story and plot, and very well, because you see, it is many people's story. Hey! it is, to a large extent, my story in parts.

Ben is like many of us - a washed-out entertainer who has developed a cynical view or life, and a jaded point of view with many issues. The fact that he loses his job, loses communication with his only daughter, is forced to deliver pizza, does not help the man's character, but embitters it. I can relate to that. Like Ben, I am a thinker, who does not believe in taking things lying down. I would have gone all the way like he did when the city tow truck towed his car just when his dear Senegalese friend Ibou relapsed into diabetic shock and needed to get to a hospital.

But then, when Ibou's sister Khadi came from Senegal to help take care of him, changes sparked in Ben, slowly at first, almost imperceptible, then more and more pronounced. How could you not fall in love with the curvy Khadi, with her beautiful raw African features, her womanly confidence and her vision of "magic"? No pretentiousness here, no overbearing or meddling - quite the contrary. You tend to admire the inner strength of such women, so akin to their culture and ways of life. I once met a woman like that from Nigeria, whose brother worked as an Engineer in the local Shell corp. The way she moved, her similar dress and grooming, made me look twice and say: "Now THAT is a woman!" Sadly, as in Ben's case, yes, such a relationship is fraught with difficulties, chiefly because of the distance between 2 Worlds. She was uncomfortable in our 'civilized' World, and Ben would not be able to adapt well in hers. Besides, he wanted to resurrect his singing career, and Senegal would not have been the right place, maybe. That too was my case with the girl in question.. However, by then Ben understood 2 things - one of them being that he was a good man, a man without racial prejudice, open, simple and unpretentious. Such men are hard to come by these days. The second thing he realized I will not say. I will leave you to view the movie, and come to your own conclusions.

So it's not the stomping, heart-throbbing drama like you see in other movies, but it will keep you interested and thinking all the way, and that, my friends, is basically what a good story is all about. Fine acting, plausible story, so true to real life. Well worth the 10 points!

I watched the movie last night. It was a roller-coaster of emotions for me, from feel-good to heartbreak to triumph to defeat, and then triumph all over again.

This is 24 hours later, and I'm still thinking if there was something wrong with this movie, but I cannot find anything. Powerful story, excellent top-notch acting, believable situations, real life drama at its finest. A movie to treasure and watch again and again as time goes by.

I have been reading some of the previous posters' opinions. It does not make me happy to say that I feel many did not get the message it conveyed, but rather, chose to adopt the very same stance the Social Services Dept. rep in the movie took, that of openly doubting the motives from the family of helping the boy, and sullying their reputation by slapping ulterior motives to their "mission" of aid. If we all thought like that, none of us would do anything for anyone.

I was a recipient of similar aid myself in the past, not once, but several times. Since I have no family, I saw myself in Michael's position, and mentally, I reverted back to those days and the events that transpired then. Let me say I'd be damned if I thought or said such aid came to me with an ulterior motive in mind. Having been there, I understood Mrs. Tuohy's approach. Why would I call this an example of racism, or of a psychopathic lady with an ego problem?

I guess it takes all kinds, but you just go ahead and watch the movie with an open mind without pausing on negatives, and in the end, see how it appears to you. If you think this is an example of racism and hidden interests, fine then. But if you view it like I did, you'll be glad you saw it, and after turning events over in your mind, see how it appeals to your finer senses.

I wrote this, not because I'm expecting anyone to read it (I don't think anyone will go through over 60 prior posting just to get to mine), but just because I wanted to give it a 10, so well deserved, and I wanted to thank Sandra Bullock and the entire cast for such a wonderful story, the kind that can make you believe in life all over again.