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NapaRick
Reviews
The Guys (2002)
Most boring movie ever.
Just the format of this movie tells you everything: Two people sit in a room and dramatically discuss the death of Firefighters on 9/11. One of them is Sigourney Weaver. The other is a guy who does nothing but CRY. Could this be any worse? I thought Dumb and Dumber was really bad and childish with waaay over the top fart jokes but THIS tops it beyond any doubt. This is pure DRAMA. I mean if most chick flicks are perhaps 30% drama and Celine Dion hits maybe 35%, this is TWO PEOPLE SITTING IN A ROOM, the woman asking questions and the guy CONSTANTLY CRYING. You wait and wait for a story, a plot, a change, something. You think it's a preface for something. You figure that if this was ALL it's gonna be they would at least WARN you but not to be. I was thinking that somebody figured all the sentimental, drama queens and Liberals would go to see it and they'd make bucks. After all there was NO COST for a set, writers, or even actors. Sigourney Weaver hit her acme in GhostBusters where she was carried by the excellent cast. What has she ever done? She should have gotten in the original Thing with James Arness or The Fly with Jeff Goldblum although that may be pushing her skills. I had to watch this movie with a Spanish lady who gave it to me as a gift so I had no choice but even she couldn't watch it all the way through. I only managed to see all of it by watching the last 1/3 on a second night. I don't drink but this movie would certainly drive me to it. If you want to save the time of reading Dante's Inferno just watch this movie. This is my nomination for WORST movie of all time. Flash Gordon and the Rock People? Lost in Space? I could watch them all day long after this. I really only turned to this review to see how badly other people burned it and thought I might find some real humor in their comments. I was truly amazed to hear all these boneheads praise it. This may be some kind of syndrome. Muslim Terrorists attack the US and murder 3,000 people who are totally and unquestionably innocent civilians who have not hurt or endangered them or their religion in any way and someone decides to make a movie that focuses on the Firemen's deaths. Not ALL the deaths, just the Firemen. They don't even mention the CAUSE of all this loss and misery. NOT A WORD. Just a world class WALLOW in self-pity. And then people applaud the movie like you shouldn't mention the despicable fanatics THAT DID IT? I can't figure it out. Are they saying that they feel especially bad for the Firemen and so consequently they must praise this incredibly boring movie? That we should all sit in a circle, smoke dope and sing Kumbaya to honor their glorious accidental deaths? Or how about that one jerk who prefaces what he says by stating that if you don't agree with him you probably have an IQ around 100 and should have been prevented from entering the theater when they show an intellectual movie like this. In other words he condescends to normal people. I prosecuted doctors for crimes. This is A LOT more boring than that. Straight to DVD. $16,000 on the first weekend, nobody's ever heard of it. If I were divorced I would burn it on my anniversary. As it is I'll send it to Glenn Close or Meryl Streep. Maybe they can watch it all the way through in one sitting.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Very good but couldn't touch the Swedish version.
When I first read this book I found it slow going and long. Even after reading half of it I didn't like the confusion or the slow pace. At 3/4 I began to like it and by the time I finished it had grown on me. Although not a well written book it was filled with detail that a movie maker could use to craft what they wanted into the picture.
When I saw the Swedish film I was really impressed. It was a little confusing but much better than the book. The photography was interesting and bright and helped to let the viewer focus on the complex plot. The acting was really good and it was surprising that none of the characters were particularly attractive. I expected the English version to be much less realistic and it was but that's OK. We imagine ourselves as the characters and are used to Hollywood. The shocking scenes of nudity, homosexuality, rape, sadism, bondage and torture are brutal and I'm not sure if this isn't the most shocking to the sensibilities of any movie I've seen in my life. It stays with you long after you watch it and doesn't make me want to go visit Sweden anytime soon. I'll never think of it as the land of Elke Summer again. On the plus side I was really amazed at the quality of acting, photography, editing and overall movie-making in the Swedish film. It's not just at the top of foreign films it is comparable to any non special effect American movie.
The American version I expected to be even better. I thought it would show the superior expertise of writers here portraying the complex plot in a more understandable manner. I thought there would be more effort shown with the pace of the movie and all the areas that we excel in because of the huge sums of money we put into our films. After all they were copying not only a best selling book but the most successful movie ever made in Sweden. How could it help but be better. Unfortunately I was wrong on all counts.
This should have been a piece of cake. They weren't working from a book but already had a very good movie to work from. It seems like the worst they could do was just dub it in English and reap millions. Instead they started with a Terminator beginning like a James Bond movie, completely out of place and inexplicable. Then they get a director of dark, scary movies to create a dark mood with DARK visuals to make everything hard to see and understand. Sure don't need that with a complex plot. The music seemed out of place also. You don't need all this scary stuff when the story is absolutely frightening without it and when the contrast of bright clarity and horrible actions is much more shocking.
A word about the characters. Daniel Craig looks a lot like the Swedish actor Michael Nyqvist except without the bad skin. Both were very good actors. The Girl Lizbeth (Noomi Rapace) was excellent. Going in everyone knew this was an Academy Award part besides being a three film role. What actress wouldn't want this role? And Mara Rooney also did a great job EXCEPT - now maybe I'm just getting old but they had her whisper stuff and mumble things and I absolutely couldn't hear or understand them. In a movie that has such incredible suspense you don't want to be asking the person next to you in the theater what the hell she said.
Don't get me wrong. I like this movie. It was frightening. It was shocking. It was consequently REALLY memorable. But what an opportunity lost. I can't imagine how it could be easier to make a movie when all you have to do is copy a great one, make it in English, and improve on the weak points. Unfortunately it's sort of like they remade Pride and Prejudice with John Woo directing, and used rap music. The movie is a "B" that will get treated as an "A" because of the subject matter of abuse of women and how graphic the scenes of sexual abuse are. Rooney will receive awards, etc. But oh, what it could have been.
If you like this movie, which you will, get the Swedish version. You'll like it better.