RehashCritics's Reviews

After Earth (2013)

8/10

Jaded Critics spoil "After Earth", it was Amazing

31 May 2013

I had lost all faith in M. Night Shyamalan since Signs, but I have been rejuvenated by "After Earth". After reading the reviews from critics I couldn't help to laugh at their vague pathetic bashings, and jaded dispositions. The critics looked for anything and everything to NOT enjoy M. Night Shyamalan's artistic direction of "After Earth". The critic pool has been so saturated with prudes it has become exhausting.

The Smith duo played out an emotional "coming to man" story with great ease and fluency. Jaden conveyed the emotions of a torn teenager with great acting maturity and confidence. He was able to emotional charge the audience. I could feel the audience respond to Kitai's (Jaden) struggles through people's gasping, jumping, and even crying! Will Smith left his usual sarcastic role to play the strong military father figure. He did a great job of wanting his son to make the right choices, but more importantly he did a great job of being the "supporting" role to Jaden.

The visual effects were up to snuff with some unique futuristic scenarios that helped to keep the audience captivated. The adapted creatures of earth weren't exaggerated like I had anticipated, but the real show wasn't in the effects it was in a boy's struggle.

The story was well crafted by Will Smith, with an emotional focus on fear. There was a lesson in that story to his own son which is something that resonated with me throughout the movie. There was a lot of emotional depth between a father and son, something the critics clearly couldn't grasp.

I greatly enjoyed this movie and am gravely disappointed with today's jaded critics. Cheers to those who love good entertainment!

-Ike Rehash Critics

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Dragon's Dogma (2012 Video Game)

9/10

Dragon's Dogma is What Dreams are Made of

21 May 2013

Warning: Spoilers

What can I say, it's one of those RPG games again. And I love it!! Out of all the different RPG games out there this one is the most unique. Here is the why. The pawn system! It is one of the best ideas to come to a game console in a while. You create your right hand helper for the game (sorcerer, fighter, stryder, etc) and then you can choose from other players created pawns to round out your team. If you are either on-line, off-line, or not even playing, other gamers can choose any pawns to help in their journey. What this means is that your pawn gains knowledge to new areas, battles, and quests while he is out fighting for someone else. Some might say, "So What?", I say "Question me again I rip your heart out!" This idea is brilliant because the pawns will always help you out in your adventure, with knowledge you haven't yet acquired, because they have retained the information and experience from other gamers that choose your pawn.

There is a ranking system allowing people to rate your created pawn on helpfulness, battle, and appearance. Be sure to make your characters inclinations (type of AI) and appearance incredible because these reviews stick with you for life. If you make the right pawn money will be made, and gifts will be more likely when your pawn is released from the user.

We learned about the unique pawn system but I haven't talked about the surrounding aspects. This is a beautiful game from the perspective of gameplay. The combat is fast and powerful. The game has hours upon hours for main quests but sometimes you just might come across a Hydra or a Griffin that you will have to take down. Now these are some of the best battles in the game till you reach the mysterious dragon. During your adventure you will have access to many classes to choose from at your disposal. If your not happy with the combat of a warrior you can change to a sorcerer just like that. Each weapon or spell you use is over the top. A lighting whip takes up the whole screen, meteor strikes make your hair stand straight up, and epic bow battle makes for serious fun For me personally, it's all about the little details to make my guy and my pawn look sweet. Just like any role playing game you will spend hours tracking quest and customizing your main character, but Capcon added the pawn so you are that much busier.

My lovely Capcon-anites could have taken the time to make the graphics a bit better and the pawn system is great but sometime aggravating when they don't come to your aid.

This is a fun game no doubt about it and I definitely recommend that you at least try this bad boy out up to level 10. MINIMUM... Understand! Minimum!

Boon - The Rehash Critics

***Sleep? WHY!!! I got pawns to take care of***

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Borderlands 2 (2012 Video Game)

10/10

Don't be a bullymong, love your Borderlands 2

17 October 2012

Ike of the Rehash Critics: Borderlands was a breakthrough in gaming with fast acting shooter action and unique graphics. As a first person shooter Borderlands offered more depth than any other platform with intricate skill trees, endless weapon combinations, and simple yet admirable character customization. Gearbox still delivers a superior product with Borderlands 2.

Gameplay: If you are an anti-social anaconda you are missing out on one of the most important aspects of the Borderlands 2 package. Co-op is a necessity for maximum enjoyment. In single player mode there won't be as much action, survival, killer guns, competition, smack talk, and fun. So pull up your big girl pants and join someone.

Action: Endless, challenging, and engrossing. There may be a long silence amongst your friends during intense battles, so refrain from resorting to your single player cussing at the video game.

Graphics: Gearbox continues with cel-shading and ups the anti on big bad guy design and difficulty. Don't worry, skags (which also describes X'es) are still around but outclassed by the newly introduced bullymongs. The beasties of Pandora, although not vast, add a higher level of difficulty.

New and/or Improved: You will experience more guns, larger territories (vertically and horizontally), enhanced villains, new characters, new talent trees, crazy creatures, the capability of hiding old missions you don't want, and character transferable skill points (i.e. add 1% to shield recharge rate, max health, etc).

Most disappointing: Here it is in a nutshell: Maps are tricky with multiple levels and poor direction, some talent trees don't have a whole lot of variety, and the story is not as engrossing as the first.

In summation Borderlands 2 met and exceeded 98% of my expectations. I am still playing the second play through and have not maxed out my love for this one. BUY BUY BUY, didn't play the first Borderlands BUY BUY BUY. This game is as flawless as it gets.

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Lawless (2012)

6/10

Why Lawless Falls Short of Greatness

29 August 2012

Ike: I am going to catch grief for this one, but wow was I left needing more. Lawless had such opportunity, but was broken by slow paced unprogressive scenes, anti-climatic everything, and spotty character inclusion. The biggest blunder was visionary direction and the greatness was in the strong believable acting.

It can never be the acting that gets full blame for falling short, you have to go higher. Directors have responsibility of piecing the story and coaching the actors into greatness, and when the ball gets dropped on accountability and patience the movie crumbles. John Hillcoat, director, slipped up a bit.

John directed Shia in a way that kept us from being emotionally attached to Shia LaBeouf's character. Shia was fantastical in his acting, but was mildly unlikable. Although he was believable, I wanted no part in the rest of his story. If the movie centers around a character with growing pains, you have to connect to him. This was not accomplished.

Tom Hardy, brother Forrest Bondurant, acted incredibly well and in a fashion that can't go ignored. Although his role was easier than Shia's he saved the movie from becoming bubble gum. His realistic portrayal of an old fashion bad ass gave Lawless the muscle it needed to be taken seriously. But it takes the whole team to make a movie legendary.

Remember seeing several scenes of Gary Oldman being a serious gangster in the trailer for Lawless. Whelp, this is all you get. The story gets heavy when Gary makes an appearance as Floyd Banner, a bigger badder gangster. And thats it Not enough Gary for what the movie needed.

Guy Pearce, known as cynical Special Agent Charlie Rakes, make his presence known as the outsider bad guy. Guy Pearce didn't hold back in playing the role of this nasty villain. This piece of Lawless added the juice. But even with this great line-up I felt cheated from seeing what I thought would be greatness.

These 5 reasons keep Lawless from greatness.

1. I didn't like Shia's character, therefore I could not connect with him.

2. Connecting all the characters with the emotional pain of loss or extreme life happenings was nowhere to be found. I mean nowhere!

3. Long drawn out scenes desperately needed to depict the depression's impact, not bland scenery and traveling.

4. Most of the impact scenes were like weak left jabs.

5. The ending

***I can't blame the actors, they were all great. I blame both the director and the flippin chatty Kathies behind me not shutting up. Sorry Lawless, we weren't meant to be*** -Ike

The Rehash Critics

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The Bourne Legacy (2012)

8/10

I was Bourne ready!

12 August 2012

Ike: The Bourne Legacy has a theatrical thumbprint like the others, but this isn't a bad thing. This thumbprint has steroids!

Aaron Cross is stronger, faster, and quieter than our buddy Bourne. The writing is fast paced, leaving out a lot of the story with all the details. However, the action is heavier and faster and precisely what a majority of movie goers are looking for. This same type of sequel progression happened when we received Daniel Craig as 007. But don't misinterpret my comparison, I am not complaining.

Tony Gilroy's visionary direction is like a linear line with the Bourne series, always going up. In every action movie Tony has directed, he is emphatic on making an emotional connection with viewers, an important ingredient in every successful movie. Even with more action and less dialogue he was able to accomplish just that in The Bourne Legacy. But dialogue loving freaks, screen writing nuts, and plot huggers beware twists aren't as prevalent in this one.

One area that was strategically average was in the cinematography. Almost all the action scenes were heavily cut, mildly choppy, and close up creating a stronger sense of quicker action. By doing this you lose out on some real quality opportunities in the realm of action. The fight scenes are less sexy and more wham. But that is self admittedly petty in the grand scheme of things. The Bourne Legacy was extremely well done!

***I am not just a science experiment, but steroids and adderall made me this way

Cinematography: 7/10 Writing: 8/10 Acting: 9/10 Overall: 8.5/10

The Rehash Critics -Ike

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The Campaign (2012)

7/10

A Summer Hit but Comedy Classic Miss

10 August 2012

Ike: Laughing out loud is not my style, but The Campaign forced me! This is the first real laugh-out-loud comedy of the summer put together by comedy visionary, director Jay Roach.

Casting selection was easily perfected with Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell, a perfect comedic duo. Zach nails his oddball character by being: awkward yet lovable, gay yet straight, pathetic yet effective. Naturally, Will handles himself like he always does, funny enough to make millions.

Be assured The Campaign has a number of knee slappers beyond the movie trailer. Allow me to name a few: Minutes of dinner table confessions, bad parenting, animal intolerance, campaign ads that don't add up, less than sexy kitchen sex, and Zach's character alone. Believe me you will get enough giggles on to support your need.

If you have read my past reviews, you know I don't let every movie sail off with flying colors. Although The Campaign had mature writing (unlike The Sitter, The Watch, Bad Teacher), The Campaign will fall short of glory due to its incessant cursing and pieces of tasteless humor. The priceless "everlasting classic comedy" can rarely be attained when the writing is riddled with the worst curse words in the business. Again and again I find myself hoping directors will replace pathetic wording with witty brilliance.

Jay Roach undoubtedly executed at a high level, creating a blockbuster and one of the best movies of the summer. However, Jay's vision won't be creating an unforgettable comedy.

***If you ever get your kids to confess stuff without consequence, you will be sadly disappointed. That's a fact!

Courtesy The Rehash Critics -Ike

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The Three Stooges (2012)

6/10

"Pure of heart, dim of wit"

13 April 2012

"Pure of heart, dim of wit" is exactly what you get. One-liners and slapstick comedy galore. I couldn't stop from laughing out loud in several scenes as these morons continued their idiotic ways. But idiotic stopped at stupid with some fairly clever lines. I had expected the Farrelly directors to bring the Stooges into modern times in more creative ways (at times successful) than they had. A lot of the expected happened when of lot of the unexpected could have. But that doesn't stop the "close to the heart" Stooges from making us laugh.

I enjoyed how the Farrelly directors included a comparison of today's crap television to good ol' American traditional television. If you watch either of the shows compared, be embarrassed. You deserve it!

You can't ask for much more when it comes to acting by the Three Stooges, honestly it was brilliantly executed. Although Will Sasso has to be shaking his head wondering, "Why do my hands curl up in every scene?"

The cinematography could have used some love, just a little extra to add to the quality of the film. We could have used some aging, some finer scenery, and maybe some variety in set.

The PG rated comedy brought humor for all ages. From making the old ladies next to me snort to making the kids behind me kicking my seat laugh, it had a little bit of everything. But the broad audience appeal also stretches its ability to deliver a memorable performance. Watch, you will all forget about it until Blue-Ray (or DVD, no offense) release and then easily pass it up on the shelves.

But was this humor for all ages comedy worth the admission? By the hair of Curly's chin. You can't roll your eyes because you know what you are getting into. You will have no choice but to let the Stooges take you over. Price of admission, sign me up. Anything more, I'm out.

Cinematography: 4/10 Writing: 7/10 Acting: 7/10 Overall: 6/10

***Take great grandma, she will put you in the will for letting her relive her wonder years! Ike -Rehash Critics

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21 Jump Street (2012)

8/10

Channing or Jonah - Both are Surprisingly Hilarious

12 April 2012

You have to do a lot to get me to laugh out loud at a comedic movie. Slapstick, "stupid" humor will not tickle my fancy or come anywhere close. Shock value and foul mouthed comedians will not get me to crack a smile. Blonde jokes, white jokes, black jokes, one-liners, gay jokes, and political satire will barely scratch the surface when it comes to comedy. However, 21 Jump Street found a way to my fancy.

Jonah and Channing delivered an outstanding comedic performance. I'm sure many were hesitant to see this one, expecting a flop by Channing. But this was not the case, Jonah was in no way comically superior to Channing. Their chemistry was natural, the kind of chemistry that makes straight men look gay. Happens all the time to Boon, Ol' Garrey, and myself. Its chemistry, nothing more, nothing less.

The writing was well executed with minor adjustments needed to the tasteless cursing and overdone scenes like a shot off limb (the extra limb). There were moments where the movie's cool was about to fizzle, but it jumped write back into sizzle. Typically the end of most comedies I've seen are forgettable, but this one was written to last.

***I'm thinking about writing a bromance novel because of this one

Ike -Rehash Critics

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Wrath of the Titans (2012)

7/10

Bigger, Stronger, Faster Doesn't Equal Amazing

12 April 2012

Wrath of the Titans was undoubtedly bigger, stronger, and faster than the first. Epic, over-the-top, and intense are some of the adjectives that come to mind when you think about the action and cinematography. You will be pleased visually with the Titans and epic battles. You will be tickled with a couple mythological surprises. You will leave like you left Clash of the Titans, wondering why you didn't feel completely satisfied.

When I left the movie I remember thinking, "Where is the passion?". The realistic and unrealistic battles will keep you entertained, but you won't be as happy with the writing and acting. There was a huge absence of emotion in just about every scene. But do gods and demi-gods need to display emotion? The answer is: Yes! Most certainly! When entertaining us, wee little humans, we need to see anger, remorse, and unimaginable determination on our actors and actresses faces.

One scene in particular that had lacked the emotion I was desperately seeking was in the labyrinth. Again very visually pleasing but another opportunity missed to show us character development and human struggle. It felt like I was rushed to see the action and pulled away from the story.

It may sound like I beat the living tar out of this movie, but the truth is I enjoyed it quite a bit. I knew what I was getting into and it served its purpose. However, that is no excuse for not trying to instill as much passion as possible into the actors.

***How many pillars does it take to kill a demi-god? Apparently a million!

Ike -Rehash Critics

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