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Dad's Army: The Miser's Hoard (1977)
Very poor
There's something very wrong with this episode. I'm usually a huge Dad's Army fan but this episode just doesn't hit the heights that this show normally achieves. It's almost as though it wasn't written in advance but put together by the the actors as they went along. I'd be very surprised if writers Croft and Perry actually penned this one, it's that bad. And then there's the issue of the studio audience which sounds very sparse indeed and very adolescent and hugely over amplified to the end that is really intrusive which is the last thing that canned laughter or a studio audience should be. It's not surprising that this episode is rarely aired.
Collateral: Episode #1.1 (2018)
Implausible plot
An excellent cast, putting in excellent performances, utterly let down by insanely contrived writing. The local MP just happens to have close connections to both the last person to have seen the murder victim and the partner of the only witness to the crime. Patronizing, lazy writing. I'm afraid I gave up at that point.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (1983)
Brilliant but flawed
Stylised acting has to be brilliant otherwise it can come across as hammy or wooden. Most performances are excellent but Jack Thompson (an Australian) clearly had difficulties with the English accent he was attempting and, bizarrely, the young fella who plays Celliers' brother has a strong Australian accent despite the character being English..........or did I miss something?
Shameless: Are You There Shim? It's Me, Ian. (2018)
From brilliant to unbelievably bad
I've watched every episode until now and pretty much enjoyed it all because ultimately its been (just about) believable. Season 9 episode 1 is one of the worst pieces of television I have ever seen and its all down to the writing. The Frank storyline is just a bad joke, I'm surprised the actors didn't just say 'whoa - stop, this is ridiculous'. The Carl storyline is equally preposterous. Lazy, lazy writing. And the perfect Irish dude with Fiona? Pure unintentional comedy. So, so bad.
Once Upon a Time in London (2019)
Could have been so much better
Utterly disjointed - little more than a series of punch ups and an unconvincing lead. We don't get any sort of flavour of London during the period in question - just a lot of razors and blood.
Belle (2013)
Shut those bloody violins up!
Why spoil a good historical story by inserting an unnecessary romance and a cacophony of violins?
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
Shut those violins up!
It's a great film - of course it is. We all know that but it has the same musical refrain going throughout the movie from start to finish and if you happen not to particularly care for that refrain or overbearing violin in general, well.....it can blight one's enjoyment somewhat.
The English Game (2020)
Tripe!
I'm not sure how this could have been any worse. I stuck with it because I'm an avid football fan but was hugely disappointed. I've never seen anything quite so trite and cliché ridden. North v South, doughty working class salt of the earth v. heartless toffs, caring females v. insensitive males, the drunken, abusive Glasgow Dad. Every turn of the plot was so predictable it was unintentionally hilarious. And as for the 'action'?? If you want to make scoring a goal look realistic do not tell your 'extra' goalkeeper to fling himself out of the way of the ball, get him to try to save the thing ang and keeping rolling until he doesn't! Simple!
The Eagle (2011)
Shockingly bad!
Why are the Americans (sorry, Romans) portrayed as the good guys. They are the invaders of someone else's homeland after all. And why does Mark Strong - a genuinely good actor - do so many awful movies? I seriously thought the two main protagonists were going to high five and catch the ball game at the bar over a couple of Bud Lights at the end. Just dreadful.