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Reviews
Prey (2022)
Surprisingly good - no mary sue
The trailer made expect that a small young girl would take on the Arnie role, as if she was Arnie.
But she doesn't. She is not as strong as the men, the warriors, the Predator. She gets knocked out, beaten, dragged about, rescued - and uses her wits to win, rather than brute force.
A surprisingly enjoyable film, and a worthy sequel to the original.
The main actress was excellent.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Up there with infinity war and endgame
Barring Martian Manhunter ruining a great scene between Lois and Martha, and all the tacked-on stuff at the end which was an audition for JL2 (basically the whole epilogue), this was a visual feast and a masterpiece. It was epic in scale, like an odyssey. Felt more like Lord of the Rings than a superhero movie. So many scenes stick in my mind: Wonder Woman suspended in mid-air, throwing the bomb, the FLASH being the flash (saving Iris and "your son was the best"), Cyborg "I'm not broken", Superman v the League and "I'm not impressed", and Batman making up for his lack of powers with gadgets and leadership. Fantastic. Leagues better than the painful JL2017.
Star Trek: Discovery: That Hope Is You, Part 1 (2020)
10 minutes and my eyes rolled so far back in my head I nearly passed out
Where's the crew. Why is Michael Burnham such a Mary Sue? She crashes, is badly injured... then leaps to her feet, saves the galaxy by sending her suit off... then suddenly remembers again that she's injured and can barely stand or walk... but then simply walks for absolute miles?
And then at the end of that she gets into a fist fight with a guy who gets the jump on her - but still wins?
Female empowerment is not making a woman into Rambo. Female empowerment is not making her into a cipher for the plot. I see lots of people complaining about the actress - but the material she's given is awful. Seriously awful. I think she's a good actor making the best of some real dreck. I mean, even Rambo got hurt. Michael is unstoppable, impossible to beat. She can take down genetically superior Klingons, big hulking men, smaller men, two at a time - no matter what the opposition, she can do it! What kind of crap writing is this?
And why is She Rambo in Star Trek anyway? Blergh.
Where's the rest of the crew? Where's the team work? Where's the reliance on one another? Why just one superwoman to save the day. Every time. Occasionally through intelligence - but mostly through punching. Yawn.
Never Let Me Go (2010)
A masterpiece
It's "The Island" for girls.
A disturbing, thought-provoking and brilliant film, exploring the meaning of life. Without explosions.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
New series, new season = problems. But this is getting really bad.
Episode 5. Look at us, we're edgy. We said "f**k" Look at us, we're edgy. We've got GAYS. Look at us, we totally get Star Trek, check all these names and Easter Eggs we're dropping!
Never mind that Star Trek's first f**k came completely out of left field, said by the most goody-two-shoes character, at the end of an absolutely appallingly written info-dump for those too dumb to have understood how the drive worked from the two previous episodes.... Gaah!
And the first gay relationship was so poorly written and stilted they've probably ironically set gay rights back by about two decades. The doctor and scientist barely acknowledge each other, the scientist nearly dies and the doctor (yes the ship's DOCTOR) can't even be bothered enough to run to attend him, and then suddenly at the end we're shown this "tender" scene, again completely out of left field??!
Nothing about episode 5 felt organic to the characters. It felt like a parade of writers walking past the camera bellowing "Star Trek reference!" "F**K" "ANTI-WAR" "GAYS" "TORTURE" in our faces.
I've dropped it from my Netflix queue. If I hear it's improved drastically I may give it a rewatch, but on the basis of the grandstanding of episode 5, the poor pacing, and the appalling characterisations, this season is one to miss.
Me Before You (2016)
A hate story
If you are disabled, kill yourself. That's the message of the movie, packaged in a "love" story. It's just another attempt to undermine the sanctity of life and normalise euthanasia. Horrific. Real love sometimes means saying "no" to people when they're wrong. Allowing someone to commit suicide just because they are disabled is not love. Disabled people aren't second-class citizens. They are people!
Interstellar (2014)
1 out of 3 acts worth seeing
Sooo, finally watched this. And, um, underwhelmed. The first act was way too long. It tipped over from hmm, interesting to okay, boring. Way too much exposition dump and set up for no reason (like the drone thing - no point. AI combines. No point.). Technology flip-flopped between 1950s and 2040 with no explanation or logic. Him leaving his daughter was complete crap. Why the sudden rush to leave? The wormhole was closing? No. Umm. Hmm. There was no reason for him to leave so suddenly AT ALL. Except plot. Then we were treated to a 2001 homage as we watched the ship take off, then dock. Wow. We've seen it before. It's not cool now. It's boooring. Why not show a truck backing up. Beep. Beep. Beep. The middle section (2nd act) was really well done. Great visuals. Great premise with the time dilation. The strongest part was his sons life unfolding in minutes.
But the third act (THe end) - what a train-smash. LOVE TRANSCENDS DIMENSIONS. Why? Umm, because. 5D beings just happen to lock onto Murphs room and just happen to provide him a space to affect her room - but not anything smart like a pen or something. Oh, and not to forget the humanist gospel HUMANITY SAVES ITSELF! We've trashed this planet and screwed things royally and even if there's like 4 of us and the future of the human race is in our hands we'll try to kill each other.. but add time and we'll become these amazing supernatural beings who will conquer the universe and manipulate spacetime and benignly save our own asses. well, here's hoping! Oh, and why did he launch off into the black hole for no reason whatsoever, since they still had another robot? Gaah. And the old Murph reunion was weird. Hi Dad. Hi Murph. It was you - I figured it out. The old watch was jumping so I knew you were my ghost because .... love? Yes, love sounds good. LOOOOOOOOVE! Ha. Now bugger off Dad, I've got my own family here. Hey, Brand was hot, go find her (and never mind about the time distortion affects of slingshotting around the black hole while you went through it. I'm sure she'll be the same hot young thing as when you left her.... (I also really disliked the overused score, particularly in the first act. It droned on and on and on and on and on and on and.. well you get the idea.) Anyway, those were my thoughts upon viewing INTERSTELLAR (aka Nolans homage to 2001 and soap operas).
I rated it a 5/10 because VFX was good, some good ideas, and some great acting. Oh, and that docking scene with the damaged spacecraft. Alright alright alright.
Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
No wit. No style. No substance.
What an absolutely terrible film. Gone is the style, the wit, the intelligence of the first film. This is a paint-by-numbers sequel which missteps at every point. It glories in violence instead of critiquing it. The characters are boring caricatures of themselves, the supporting cast are cartoon characters - literally. Kick-Ass had real people in ridiculous circumstances - this sequel has ridiculous people doing ridiculous things for no apparent reason. Hit-Girl's story is a weird tired high school mean girls cliché which ends with Hit Girl getting revenge by making them vomit and poo. Huh? I could go on and on, but this film is just - weird, and a great big disappointment.
Zambezia (2012)
A good first outing
This is Triggerfish Animation's first feature film. It's a pretty good first effort, but the inexperience shows. A particular problem was the shoestring budget which meant some shots had to go through to the finished film with known flaws, and the story was patchy in places. This film could have done with some pick-ups to fill in those holes. The story is pretty generic, but for the most part well told. The animation is bright and sparkly - the shot of the Falls and into the tree is brilliant. Voice acting is generally good. A shout-out goes to the score: this is in a class of its own, and really lifts the movie. Well done to the first-time composer Bruce Retief.
The film could have done with a few more months in post-production: tightening up some of the gags, filling in a few story holes, polishing up the animation... then it would have warranted an 8/10. As it stands it's a solid 6, particularly due to the score.
Zambezia is not a movie which will be frequently watched again. What it does signal is intent from the new kid on the block from Africa. There's real potential from this little studio in Cape Town,and their next films look like they are hitting their stride (Khumba, plus the next in development: "Sea Monster" with an almost watercolour animation aesthetic. Looks amazing. Pixar 2?)
I Give It a Year (2013)
An depressingly accurate documentary
Unfortunately it's a true picture of London life. People being awful to the people they're supposed to love. People refusing to change, to grow, to make room for one another - all they do is leech off each other. The ending is atrocious, where they gleefully agree to divorce, then rush off to new partners where the song is unironically "I've never felt love like this before" - despite the fact that in the opening of the film 85 minutes earlier we saw love *exactly* like that. I would credit the writer/director with this being deliberate and a withering attack on the selfishness of people flitting from relationship to relationship but the rest of the film is just so low-brow and plain dumb that I can't imagine it was deliberate. Everyone is unlikeable selfish swearing three-year-olds in this film, including the relationship counselor (and yes, I heard many colleagues speaking exactly that way to their "loved ones") - by the time the end comes and they are with their "one" you think "meh". Disappointing schlock.
Skyfall (2012)
Welcome back, Mr. Bond
(this is spoiler-free as I realise most people won't have seen this yet.)
Oh. my. word.
Skyfall is amazing.
It is Bond. It is Bond with heart, with character. Bond with armour and without. It is a throwback to the classic Bond, a standing ovation to the earliest Bonds - and yet modern, fresh, gritty, brutal. You *feel* things in Skyfall. Bond feels things, like in CR - but unlike CR which was Bond becoming Bond, here we have Bond as Bond - witty, debonair,charming, dangerous, a man who lives in the shadows and occasionally puts on a front of lightness.
It is a more personal, character-driven film - but with superb action and AMAZING cinematography (seriously - some of the images in this film put Nolan's films in the shade!). The pre-credit sequence (yes, it's back) is worth the price of admission alone.
In one way CR was like a break from the old Bonds. It was a fresh start and the stench of Ye Old Bonde had to be washed off. But now in Skyfall it's all grown up, and so can appreciate it's roots - like a teenager realising their parents aren't always wrong.
It is brilliant. Go and see it. It's fantastic. (And if it wasn't Bond, it would win an Oscar or three. As it is, it may just yet - it's that good)
Welcome back Mr. Bond.
The Fountain (2006)
Death is not awe
Watched "the Fountain" the other day (yes, I know it's an old film). A film with some interesting premises, interesting cinematography, and unusual style, let down abominably by its underlying philosophy: "Death is awe".
Talk about calling evil good! (Rom 1 & Isa 5:20) Death is not awe. You will not be part of a tree. You will not fly with the sparrow when it eats the tree's fruit. Death is a horrible, brutal curse. The doctor was right to "rage, rage against the dying of the night"!
With people desperately afraid of the curse of death, I can understand why the Fountain was so warmly embraced. But it offers a mirage, an illusion. Pretending that death is awe instead of acknowledging that death is awful is just that - a pretence. And one that will not suffice when faced with the awful reality of death.
There is only one who has faced down death and defeated it. Only God Himself, our Lord Jesus, the Christ, could defeat death - and he did so, in our place. In Him, the fear of death is no more - death has no sting. There is only one refuge from death, and it is not in the whimsical folly of an otherwise interesting movie.
Drive (2011)
Gaaaah! Crap 70/80's movies are back
It is unusual that I get so bored by a movie that I turn it off part way through. This movie was boring. Really boring. It's a late 70's early 80's film - one of those that never goes anywhere, and never offers any explanation for anything that's going on in the "plot".
Main character is a blank canvas, who suddenly explodes into violence (without any forewarning or indication this was possible). the love interest is as thick as a brick to allow this weirdo into her life,. Zero chemistry between the two.
Soundtrack has a bass rumble nearly the ENTIRE way through. Why??!
And the music is cheesy 80's synth crap. I watched Wall Street before this movie and was AMAZED by the similarities.
After being bored to death by the chemistry-less "love story" violence suddenly explodes. And I laughed. It was so ridiculous, and so "ooh, look at me showing brutal violence on screen" it broke the "4th wall". And I pitied the director.
Oh, this was a disappointment. Avoid at all costs. Or rent some random late 70's "slice of life" movies. They'll be better.
The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)
Does what it says on the tin
A solid movie. Good action flick, good drama, characters feel real, motivations are transparent, rocks along at a fairly good pace. Not so over the top that it breaks the fourth wall (by comparison, had the misfortune of watching Transformers 2 last night, which is so outrageous it may as well be shouting "this is a movie" at you for 2 and a half hours.) Anyway Pelham 123 is a good 1,5 hour ride. GREAT performances by the two leads Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Supporting cast backs them up well. The movie is not pretentious - sets out to be a tense action flick, and delivers. Negative points would be a bit too much us of the slow-mo blur effect and a LOT of swearing (not one for the whole family!). Compares well to the original. One Two Three is, of course, a lot slower - the pace of 123 is a lot faster, characters get established quicker, more camera movement, quicker editing.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
2001: An Ode to Stanley Kubrick, by Stanley Kubrick
It's utter sophomoric tripe. Kubrick thinks the audience are absolute idiots. He focuses on a thing - then on what it represents. then on the thing. then on what is represents, then on the thing. Repeat, ad nauseum. The man can't direct for toffee. Oh yes, the special effects are good, some of the ideas in the movie are good - but the movie fails because it is utterly boring, drowning in Kubrick's own self obsession. People go on and on about the technical minutiae - like that's genius - to show the boring bits everyone else edits out - BECAUSE THEY'RE BORING! 2001 is 20 minutes of a good film stretched out over 3 hours! I am an avid reader and watcher of sci-fi. I love the genre because it provokes you to think. This movie was not thought-provoking, but sleep inducing, and caused me not to ponder the human condition, but instead how Kubrick got away with producing the navel-gazing piece of self-adulation. It practically cries out "look at me! look how clever I am! I can do things no one else does and get away with it because I am clever!" (Seems he did get away with it with all the fawning adulation he's got over the years!)
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)
PC far better than LWW
Saw it last night - thought it was MUCH better than LWW, mainly because they figured out who was the hero in Prince Caspian....
In every book in Narnia the hero is Aslan. Although he is not the focus of the story, his presence infuses each book, and he is in control of all that happens (not surprisingly, as he is Narnia's version of Jesus).
They missed that simple point in LWW, which weakened the story considerably, and made the sudden transformation of the children into great warriors very stilted and unbelievable. In the book it's clear that they are transformed through Aslan breathing on them, imparting his power to them to do what they were called to do.
PC is about a crisis of faith - at each step of the way the question is whether they will trust Aslan, or just do their own thing (maybe even ask the white witch for help).
So I thought the story was much truer to the spirit of the book (although not the letter of the book).
Additionally, the director has a much steadier hand in this one - I felt in LWW he was feeling his way somewhat - in PC he knows what he wants, and makes it happen. (Director is the same guy who directed Shrek!) The special effects were also superb, particularly the naiads and dryads (trees), and the water god at the end. This one is going in my DVD collection.
The Golden Compass (2007)
Yawn
Superb acting (especially Kidman, and Richards (Lyra))
Superb CG(better than Lord of the Rings)
Decent cinematography
let down by
awful editing
directionless directing
and a pedantic story (maybe the book is better?).
It also didn't help that every 5 minutes the movie had to stop and preach to us about the evil Christians - sorry, Magisterium. Someone should tell these people that allegory doesn't need to be explained.in.great.detail. It ruins the pacing of the movie!
A big let-down.
One of very few movies where I've actually closed my eyes because I'm getting sleepy!
Don't waste your money.
(Note to Christians - don't even bother protesting - the movie destroys its own message much more effectively than people waving placards & getting up everybody's nose. The anti-Christian message is so ham-fisted it appears foolish & unattractive.)