Review of Witness

Witness (1985)
4/10
Amish E.T.
13 May 2024
I can never watch this movie without fast-forwarding the parts with Lukas Haas. What is his problem? Where did they find that annoying deer caught in the headlights look?

So the kid is with his super-hot Amish Mom at the train station, and he goes to the restroom to take a dump. While he is in the bathroom stalls, pushing one out, he looks out between the edges of the stall doors, and sees some guy getting killed.

Just right there you know the kid has a problem. I have taken hundreds of dumps in public restrooms and never spent my time looking out between the doors.

The kid makes another mistake, by sticking his big face with the big eyes out of the restroom stall and scaring the killers. So they decide to track the kid down, in the interests of furthering mutant science.

Harrison Ford gets called into the investigation of the undercover cop who got killed in the toilet stall, and soon he is making it with the ugly kid's Mom, because that's how he rolls. The kid's Mom is played by Kelly McGillis, back when she was young and pretty.

Long story short, lots of bad cops try to kill off the big headed boy, and nobody can get a bead on him.
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