HEROES THREE is a cheesy, low budget, fitfully amusing martial arts story featuring a trio of western heroes battling gangster bad guys in '80s Hong Kong. It was clearly made in a hurry and as such doesn't have much in the way of quality to it; however, it is as funny as a similar Godfrey Ho outing and far more linear to boot. The film stumbles from one unintentionally amusing moment to the next, with the torture-by-milk set-piece a real highlight. The fights are relatively slow but otherwise average by genre standards; you could do a lot worse. The acting is extremely wooden with the exception of former Shaw villain Chiang Tao, as imposing as ever as the chief bad guy with a set of golden gnashers.
4 Reviews
What to do in Hong Kong if you're a Dutchman named Dutch!
Sorsimus1 June 2004
When their boat hits Hong Kong harbor, two sailors go on shoreleave. One of them is on a courier mission for some far east heavies and goes missing. The other befriends some natives and goes on a kung fu- quest to uncover the secrets behind his friends disappearance.
This one is a fairly entertaining turkey containing lots of bad kung fu, bad acting and bad screenwriting. What makes it entertaining is its particularly disarming innocent silliness. One example: the lead character is a Dutchman named Dutch... Reasonably fast paced and coherent storywise.
Highly recommended for fans of second rate (or lower) kung fu.
Released on video in Finland in the eighties.
This one is a fairly entertaining turkey containing lots of bad kung fu, bad acting and bad screenwriting. What makes it entertaining is its particularly disarming innocent silliness. One example: the lead character is a Dutchman named Dutch... Reasonably fast paced and coherent storywise.
Highly recommended for fans of second rate (or lower) kung fu.
Released on video in Finland in the eighties.
A sailor in a Donald Duck sweater is the hero.
BA_Harrison21 April 2019
A Dutch sailor named Dutch and his American shipmate Jim take shore-leave in Hong Kong, where Jim has some business to attend to (something to do with a missing document sought by business executive Charles Winter, who plans to become tai-pan). When Jim goes missing, Dutch joins up with private detective Horatio Lim to try and find his friend. Jim eventually turns up-dead!-and Dutch and Horatio try to find out who is responsible and make them pay.
I wasn't expecting great storytelling and I wasn't expecting stellar performances, and in that respect, I wasn't disappointed. I did, however, hope for some half-decent martial arts, but sadly this isn't the 'classic beat-em-up' that the blurb claimed it to be: the action is dull, repetitive and poorly choreographed, making this film dreadful on almost all counts.
I would, under most circumstances, reward such inept movie-making with IMDb's lowest possible rating of 1/10, but there were a few things that made me laugh, so it narrowly avoids that honour: the scene in which someone is tortured by having milk poured on their face is hilarious (those baddies... does their cruelty know no bounds?); Horatio Lim's high-tech office is a cornucopia of horribly dated machinery, including a crap arcade machine, even cruddier computers, and a reel-to-reel answering machine; Mrs Winter looks like a man in drag (no wonder her husband is cheating on her); and best of all, hero Dutch's casual clothing includes a Donald Duck sweater that hardly says 'I mean business' to the bad guys.
I wasn't expecting great storytelling and I wasn't expecting stellar performances, and in that respect, I wasn't disappointed. I did, however, hope for some half-decent martial arts, but sadly this isn't the 'classic beat-em-up' that the blurb claimed it to be: the action is dull, repetitive and poorly choreographed, making this film dreadful on almost all counts.
I would, under most circumstances, reward such inept movie-making with IMDb's lowest possible rating of 1/10, but there were a few things that made me laugh, so it narrowly avoids that honour: the scene in which someone is tortured by having milk poured on their face is hilarious (those baddies... does their cruelty know no bounds?); Horatio Lim's high-tech office is a cornucopia of horribly dated machinery, including a crap arcade machine, even cruddier computers, and a reel-to-reel answering machine; Mrs Winter looks like a man in drag (no wonder her husband is cheating on her); and best of all, hero Dutch's casual clothing includes a Donald Duck sweater that hardly says 'I mean business' to the bad guys.
Heroes Three is a so-called "Chop-Socky" film with a difference.
tarbosh220008 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Sailors Dutch Hagan (Postma) and Jim Burstall (Kelly) are on shore leave after traveling from Taiwan to Hong Kong. When a bunch of masked assailants start a brawl with them once they arrive, local private detective and part-time Tai Chi teacher Horatio Lim (Tan) joins in the fray with his newfound friends.
When Burstall goes missing, it sets in motion a chain of events that leads all the way to the top of the Asian high finance industry. An unscrupulous businessman named Winter (Lovett?) wants to monopolize the gold market and it seems Burstall is involved somehow. However, there are a myriad of baddies looking to cause trouble for Hagan and Lim, as well as Hagan's new love interest, who just happens to be Lim's sister. These men, naturally, are named Ah "Coffin" Fang (Lim Wai-Kee), Night Club Wu (Hudson Leung), and Junkmaster Cheong (Kim Bill). Of course, many melees ensue. What will happen to the HEROES THREE?
Heroes Three is enjoyable, modest, and entertaining. It's set in Hong Kong - and one of the movie's strengths is some of its fascinating location photography - but has something of an international pedigree thanks to some of its American, British, and European cast and crew, as well as the fact that it was written by a guy named Pat Dunlop, who mainly worked in American TV. There's a mix of the old culture of Hong Kong, and some of the new, modern technology of that time. For example, Lim has a high-tech command center complete with a stand-up arcade machine, and there are other scenes of characters playing arcade games. So the 80's-ness is on display clearly, which gives it automatic points in our book.
Speaking of which, it all starts with a jaunty, synthy song which we think is called "Looking For You", and sung by Rowena Cortes, who sings the closing ballad as well. Cortes had a nice career throughout the seventies, releasing five albums and two singles in the decade, even winning the 1976 Hong Kong Popular Song Contest. As far as we can tell, her work for Heroes Three was her last.
The whole outing kicks off (literally) with not a Fruit Cart chase, but a Fruit Cart fight. After this display, one character calls another, and we quote, "a snoopie". If anyone has ever called you or anyone you know a snoopie, please write in today. There are some large and funny burned-in English subtitles in some scenes that are quite amusing. Additionally, some poor schnook is not a victim of Chinese water torture, but Chinese milk torture. So, overall, there are some interesting tweaks that let Heroes Three stand out, and they don't take things overly seriously, so it all has a fun vibe that is easy to like.
As in a lot of movies, there is a goon that looks a lot like David Cross. His name is Max Schwartz in the film, so do look out for him. But all the heavies in the movie are no match for Dutch Hagan, who wears a very intimidating Donald Duck sweatshirt. He has a lot of great activewear in the movie, but that shirt was probably the favorite. And, as if there was any doubt that it's a Donald Duck sweatshirt, it has the words DONALD DUCK emblazoned in large letters across the top. Why this sweatshirt is made in adult sizes, we may never know.
In the end, Heroes Three is a so-called "Chop-Socky" film with a difference. There's a lot of action and fighting, but there's some welcome diversity and it never gets boring. While the movie was released in many countries worldwide over the years, it didn't have a ton of market penetration here in the U.S., and it was probably overshadowed by the contemporary Ninja Boom of the day. (Just to be clear, there are no ninjas in Heroes Three). Now that it's on Amazon Prime - as of this writing - we say check it out.
When Burstall goes missing, it sets in motion a chain of events that leads all the way to the top of the Asian high finance industry. An unscrupulous businessman named Winter (Lovett?) wants to monopolize the gold market and it seems Burstall is involved somehow. However, there are a myriad of baddies looking to cause trouble for Hagan and Lim, as well as Hagan's new love interest, who just happens to be Lim's sister. These men, naturally, are named Ah "Coffin" Fang (Lim Wai-Kee), Night Club Wu (Hudson Leung), and Junkmaster Cheong (Kim Bill). Of course, many melees ensue. What will happen to the HEROES THREE?
Heroes Three is enjoyable, modest, and entertaining. It's set in Hong Kong - and one of the movie's strengths is some of its fascinating location photography - but has something of an international pedigree thanks to some of its American, British, and European cast and crew, as well as the fact that it was written by a guy named Pat Dunlop, who mainly worked in American TV. There's a mix of the old culture of Hong Kong, and some of the new, modern technology of that time. For example, Lim has a high-tech command center complete with a stand-up arcade machine, and there are other scenes of characters playing arcade games. So the 80's-ness is on display clearly, which gives it automatic points in our book.
Speaking of which, it all starts with a jaunty, synthy song which we think is called "Looking For You", and sung by Rowena Cortes, who sings the closing ballad as well. Cortes had a nice career throughout the seventies, releasing five albums and two singles in the decade, even winning the 1976 Hong Kong Popular Song Contest. As far as we can tell, her work for Heroes Three was her last.
The whole outing kicks off (literally) with not a Fruit Cart chase, but a Fruit Cart fight. After this display, one character calls another, and we quote, "a snoopie". If anyone has ever called you or anyone you know a snoopie, please write in today. There are some large and funny burned-in English subtitles in some scenes that are quite amusing. Additionally, some poor schnook is not a victim of Chinese water torture, but Chinese milk torture. So, overall, there are some interesting tweaks that let Heroes Three stand out, and they don't take things overly seriously, so it all has a fun vibe that is easy to like.
As in a lot of movies, there is a goon that looks a lot like David Cross. His name is Max Schwartz in the film, so do look out for him. But all the heavies in the movie are no match for Dutch Hagan, who wears a very intimidating Donald Duck sweatshirt. He has a lot of great activewear in the movie, but that shirt was probably the favorite. And, as if there was any doubt that it's a Donald Duck sweatshirt, it has the words DONALD DUCK emblazoned in large letters across the top. Why this sweatshirt is made in adult sizes, we may never know.
In the end, Heroes Three is a so-called "Chop-Socky" film with a difference. There's a lot of action and fighting, but there's some welcome diversity and it never gets boring. While the movie was released in many countries worldwide over the years, it didn't have a ton of market penetration here in the U.S., and it was probably overshadowed by the contemporary Ninja Boom of the day. (Just to be clear, there are no ninjas in Heroes Three). Now that it's on Amazon Prime - as of this writing - we say check it out.
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