Dan Rowan: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Dan Rowan : Ladies and gentlemen, in our audience tonight we are honored to have one of the greatest names in comedy: Milton Berle.

  Dick Martin : And I'm sure that if we give him a big round of applause, he'll be willing to sit down.

• Arte Johnson : Every morning I wake up and I touch my shoes 25 times.

  Dan Rowan : No fooling.

  Arte Johnson : Then I get out of bed and I put them on.

• Dan Rowan : Teresa, did you hear the government has spent, in the past two years, 28 million dollars renting buildings in Vietnam?

  Teresa Graves : My goodness! Listen, if we just stop paying the rent, maybe we can get evicted.

• Dick Martin : How come Milton doesn't interrupt you?

  Dan Rowan : I had a deal worked out.

  Unle Miltie : I only interrupt the straight men.

  Dan Rowan : That was the deal.

• Dick Martin : I know a girl who has a million dollar figure.

  Dan Rowan : You don't say.

  Dick Martin : But the top half is counterfeit.