2/10
BLECH! WTF Did I Just watch?
8 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Totally lame pile of BS with the lamest back-story for a horror movie slasher!

Michael Madsen... boy, I just lost a lot of respect for you. You're way too good for this low-budget piece of crap!

There are so many things that just don't make sense. Now, I get that it's a dark comedy. Okay. I can accept some things. But others, just... um... hmmm -

Like the extremely hot ranger chick (who looked way too young to be Ranger Chief - or whatever the heck her title was) who fires what seems to be a Rambo-sized amount of bullets from a 9 mm automatic handgun without ever reloading. And then... she is the ONLY character to be struck by one of Lumberjack Man's axes who actually lives. Now, that's not such a stretch, it's possible to survive an ax attack. BUT, she took the ax in the back - right in the spine - and then pulls it out by herself and, somehow, doesn't bleed to death! AND THEN - at the end, she's up and walking around. Whoa - WHAT? That spinal cord had to be severed, no doubt! And wasn't it enough that we had the hot, lead chick come out alive in the end? Why did we have to save the hot, blonde ranger chick, too? That's just a bit too much BS for me.

However, I did give this 2 stars for all of the (.)(.) running around on set! Good job, Mr. Director. But, I'm just a little bummed out that we never got to see the heroin in all her glory... but I'll settle for the panties and bra. Very nice touch.
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