User Reviews

I've never understood No Holds Barred. It had the entire WWE machine behind it - watching an hour of their program in 1989 was akin to watching an hour commercial for this movie - and this was the movie they put so much effort behind? A movie that makes wrestling and its top star both look like morons? I get that the rest of the world sees pro wrestling like this, but when I realized that this was how the company itself saw it, it was pretty sad.

But yeah, I still went to the drive-in and watched it. They sold me.

Imagine if Vince McMahon decided to make an entire movie about Ted Turner.

Well, stop dreaming and start watching, because Brell (Kurt Fuller) is Ted, owning an entire network that is being toppled by pro wrestler Rip Thomas (who is Hulk Hogan other than the fact that he wears blue instead of the yellow and red, brother). That's right - all his network needs to start failing is to go up against Rip, until they start making their own wrestling program called Nitro...I mean Battle of the Tough Guys.

On this show, Zeus (Tiny Lister, Friday), an ex-con and former student of the same man who taught Rip takes over the world of wrestling from the No Count Bar. Brell is the kind of guy who replies to people making fun of his penis size by sending killers after Rip and rapists after Rip's PR person Sam (Joan Severance).

There's also a scene beats up a henchman so badly that the guy craps his pants. I mean, wouldn't you after a gigantic human being basically flies out of a limo?

Beyond getting to see Gene Okerlund, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Howard Finkel and Joey Marella on the big screen, this movie also features Jeep Swensen (he'd go on to play Bane in Batman and Robin), Bill Eadie (Axe from Demolition and the Mask Superstar) and one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, Stan "The Lariat" Hansen. In fact, when the movie came out, there was a big rumor that Hansen - who achieved most of his fame in Japan - was about to leave Giant Baba's All Japan Pro Wrestling to come to challenge Hogan. It never happened. They did fight a year later in a match between AJPW and WWE in Japan just days after Hogan lost the belt to the Ultimate Warrior.

There's another Japanese influence to the movie, as Hogan doesn't use his American legdrop finisher here as Rip, but instead the clothesline-like Axe Bomber that he used to win so many matches in New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Zeus, however, did come to WWE and claimed that he deserved to be the star of the film. After a Summerslam 1989 match between Hogan and Brutus Beefcake against Zeus and Randy Savage, the feud culminated in a PPV called No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie, an event that played the movie and then a blowoff tag team match.

No Holds Barred was produced by star Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon, only to be distributed by New Line Cinema after completion. When the first draft of the script was turned in, Hogan and McMahon disliked it so much, they checked into a Florida hotel and stayed up for 72 hours straight - cocaine - rewriting the script together.

Thomas J. Wright, who directed this, was also the artist who painted the artwork featured on Night Gallery. He was also the second unit director for Howard the Duck and Staying Alive.

No Holds Barred (1989): Dir: Thomas J. Wright / Cast: Hulk Hogan, Tiny Lister, Kurt Fuller, Joan Severance, Bill Eadie: Here is a screenplay so stupid that it would make better toilet paper than quality entertainment. Title indicates that rules will be broken but the whole point is exploited to death. It stars Hulk Hogan playing himself against Tiny Lister as Zeus in a much awaited wrestling bout. He turned down promoter Kurt Fuller so in a tantrum he hires Zeus to beat the tar out of Hogan. Zeus is one of the biggest jackasses ever to enter a film. He grunts, yells, beats on his chest. Plot is ridiculous and unrealistic when factoring in the fact that the law would not likely support such an event. director Thomas J. Wright could have saved money and just film any high school bully taking out his aggression on some poor dote on the playground. Aside from an embarrassing performances from Hogan who really should stick to wrestling, Lister is in a category all by himself, and his defeat is less than exciting. Fuller plays the typical irritating promoter who starts controversy and then cowers until fatal consequences. Joan Severance plays the ever familiar lame ass damsel. Bill Eadie appears as Rip's opening opponent but fans best remember him in his superior role as one half of the great tag team Demolition with partner Smash. It is meant to appeal to legions of Hulk fans so others should tear it in separate directions. Score: 0 / 10

I'm a die hard wrestling fan, so I decided to bite the bullet here. This was WWE's first attempt at a foray into Hollywood. They don't exactly excel these days with it, but this was a big venture for Vince at the time. He thought he could do both WWE, and Hollywood at the same time, and what better guy to do it than Hulk Hogan? He's already made an appearance in Rocky III, he seemed ready. This was not the case. The movie bombed in a big way, and it's an intolerable cheese fest. Hulk Hogan essentially plays an exaggerated version as himself, and Zeus (Tiny Lister) is laughably wooden, and especially OTT with his facial expressions. It also has many lapses in logic. Rip's kid brother gets crippled by a henchman, and there are no repercussions. Zeus is practically indestructible, and feels hardly anything until the very end. He comes across like a Cyborg, more than anything else. Kurt Fuller hams it up so much, it gives you the impression he knew he was in a piece of junk, and decided to have fun with it, by hamming it up like no tomorrow. Joan Severance has an awful romance with Hogan, and would fade into B movie role obscurity not long after this. And wouldn't you know it? Hulk Hogan does what he did for many, many years, and still does to this day on rare occasions. He takes an inhumanly beating, and Hulks up, shrugging off any previous pain to defeat the baddie. The scary thing about this is that despite how much this movie flopped, and how awful it was, Vince decided to make an angle out of it on WWE Television in 1989. Here is the most ludicrous thing about it. Tiny Lister was singed to a WWE Deal, and appeared on WWE T.V, because he was bitter about having second billing to Hogan. And he used the Zeus name from the movie and not his real name! It was a major clusterfuc******k of epic proportions.

Final Thoughts: I love cheesy movies, but this one is far too stupid and annoying to enjoy. Die hard Hogan fans will wanna see it, and chances are, you already have. The rest needn't bother

3.6/10

This movie has some of the best or depending on your viewpoint worst overacting and cliches put down to film in the 1980s. Hulk Hogan is Rip, a wrestling champion with a heart of gold and he doesn't want go join the TV Network of an evil corporate scumbag called Brell and things escalate from there.

Among other great things this has Hulk wearing several sort of reject satin sleeveless ninja outfits in multiple colours sort of like he actually wore in the 1980s. There is growling by Hulk as well as the villain named Zeus played by another wrestler who went on to appear in many better movies than Hulk could ever dream of. Some of the audience also growls and grunts and most of the villains are one dimensional.

It has a bad plot and bad yet funny and grammatically incorrect dialogue such as:

He's did it again (He is did it again. Really?) "I won't be around when this check clears" after force feeding the bad guy his cheque. "God I hate it when you're hurt, or scared" to a woman that's been attacked and almost sexually assaulted. These and some other verbal gems make this movie what it is today. Utter crap.

There are impossible feats of strength exhibited by wrestlers tholroughout. Like kicking the limo back door so hard from the inside that it makes the driver in his partition completely lose control. Jumping through the roof of said limo as if it is made of plywood and paper. The Hulk also mistakes a mirror for a bad guy at one point because a projector is projecting his image into it and he makes a bad guy pee himself among other things. And there is a romantic scenario and a few sexual jokes and allusions towards masturbation just to make it appealing to the adult viewers I guess. The levels of machismo are also off the charts where Rip doubts himself when he refuses a challenge by Zeus to fight. That lasts until his brother is injured by Zeus and then it's on. The bad guys kidnap Rip's love interets and he is beaten until she escapes and then he fights back and wins. It has to be seen to be believed.

In short this movie might have been enjoyed by 8 year olds in 1989 which is how old I was when I saw it but in 2020 it is ridiculously and completely bad. It might make you grin a few times in the beginning but it is by no means a decent film even with the unintentional humor. Possibly a 3 out of 10

No Holds Barred was just one of those movies that's 'so bad, it's good'. Directed by Thomas J. Wright, and produce by the World Wrestling Federation (now WWE). The movie was trying to capitalize on Hulk Hogan's popularity in wrestling. The movie is also trying to boost the wrestler's acting career, years after his last appearance on the big screen in 1982's Rocky III. Since Hulk Hogan's acting chops are not the best, the movie has Hulk Hogan stars as Rip Thomas, a very popular pro-wrestler. Basically, Hogan is playing himself in this film. The only different is that, he has a younger brother, Randy, (Mark Pellegrino) in this. The two brothers are very close and Randy's presence in the audience motivates him enough to win his matches. When Rip turns down money to join the rival network; the network chairman, Brell (Kurt Fuller) wants revenge. He decide to look for somebody to challenge Rip to a match that he can promote. He finds Zeus (Tiny Lister Jr.), an ex-con. After using Zeus to beat up, Randy. Rip promises his brother that he'll defeat Zeus and win the match for him. The movie has some really unrealistic action scenes. The pro-wrestling matches are not really wrestling based matches, but more like real street brawls. The movie even add oddly a robbery sub-plot that has little to do with the main plot, just to make Hulk Hogan look good. Honestly, are we supposed to take Rip seriously when he's throwing pies at the bad guys!? This movie has gone out of its way to make the antagonists as despicable as humanly possible with them beating women up, and treating children like crap. Tiny Lister Jr. in my opinion, doesn't look menacing. The goofy unibrow, the side 'z' haircut, add to the blind eye and that voice makes him look retarded and hammy. Honestly, he look more menacing as Deebo in 1995's Friday. He can barely do action scenes in the film. Another thing, honestly, why would a billionaire chairman risk going to jail, by hosting and promoting illegal 'battle of the tough-men' fighting? Brell is such a one-dimension bad guy that is willing to send a gang of thugs and rapist to make Rip's life, a living hell, just because Rip didn't sign with him! It doesn't make any sense in a reality sense! Why, risk getting catch for 'attempt murder' on something so dumb? I guess, it makes sense in a pro-wrestling sense. Kurt Fuller is so over the top. It's get worst, when the screenwriters give him annoying lines that always have the word 'Jock-ass' in it. He says it throughout the film. While the character of Brell is made up. His character does borderline have similarities to the real life rival of WWF at the time, Media Mongol, Ted Turner. Ted Turner and his Turner Broadcasting Network purchased WWF's rival promotion, World Championship Wrestling in Nov. 1988 and try to promote it, as a 'real man' wrestling. Often showing over the top violence, similar to what Brell was showing in his programming. WCW was mostly less kid friendly than Hulkamania WWF. I have to give Hulk Hogan, some credit in this movie. While, his acting isn't the best. His snarling and grunting are cartoonish, but he try really hard to make emotional in some scenes. He indeed cry, when Randy got hurt. He also made, the funnier scenes, really hilarious with his delivery. I can't help laughing my head off, at the whole 'dookie' scene. I had a few chuckles during the whole one room hotel scene with Samantha Moore (Joan Severance). Joan Severance was really hot, but her character was a bit too bitchy for me. The movie does go a bit dark at times. I find it odd, for the film to go from rape attempt to comically bike chase in less than a minute. The movie goes all 1980's montage in the middle with Zeus engages in a brutal training routine for the match, while Rip is more focused on Randy's rehabilitation. The ending is just odd. I have never watch a wrestling match that lavish before. Unless, it's 2008's the Wrestler, at the Oscars. The movie did OK, at the box office, but WWF felt that they can make more money. So in 1989, No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie, was shown on pay-per-view. The program consisted of the film in its entirety, followed by a match pre-recorded at a Wrestling Challenge taping. It is currently not yet available on the WWE Network. To promote the PPV, Tiny Lister came to WWE, as the Zeus character to challenge Hogan to a series of matches. (1989 SummerSlam and 1989's Survivor Series) The Hogan-Beefcake vs. Savage-Zeus tag team rivalry resumed after the Survivor Series, was the lead-up to "No Holds Barred: The Movie-The Match.". Rumors had it, that if No Holds Barred had been a success, the main event for 1990's WrestleMania VI would have been Hulk Hogan vs. Zeus. Thank God, the PPV wasn't a huge hit and Zeus was sent packing from pro-wrestling. Instead, Vince McMahon went with the idea of having Hogan Vs the Ultimate Warrior and the rest was wrestling history. Hulk's movie career didn't quite take off as hoped as a result of No Holds Barred and years later, he indeed sign up for Ted Turner's WCW. The movie was then put VCR tapes, sold and then shelf. It wasn't until 2012, when the movie finally saw a DVD release. The 2012 DVD is crappy. It has no special features. Get the 2014's Blu-Ray for that. For wrestling fans, look for cameos of Howard Finkel, Stan Hansen, Gene Okerlund, and Jesse "The Body' Ventura in the film. Also look for Games of Thrones's Peter Dinklage's first on-screen role. Overall: It's a lot of fun watching it, but I can't say, this is a great movie.

Being a wrestling fan, movies about wrestling generally suck (Backyard Dogs, Bodyslam, Jesse Ventura story) but this one isn't the worst I've ever seen. Yes its bad but its better than some of the others I've mentioned.

Hulk Hogan stars as basically himself and for some reason, a rival network wants to beat him up because he doesn't want to be on that network. Let me explain it so everyone can understand....picture USA Network having Rip...and TNT will go to any lengths to get him.

Does this make sense...no? Well don't feel bad because it doesn't make sense. Nor does it make sense to have a legit ex con have a REAL fight with Rip at the end of the movie.

None of this movie makes much sense but compared to other wrestling movies and later Hogan films its not so bad.

4 out of 10

No Holds Barred was Hulk Hogan's ode to himself (with Vince McMahon's deep pockets). It came out in 1989 and actually finished second to Star Trek V in its first week in the box office. It did make a profit after its theatrical release, video release, and PPV but it doesn't hide the fact that the film is terrible. However, like Hogan's later film Mr. Nanny, it is a laugh riot. I thought Mr. Nanny was the funniest thing I'd ever seen at the time.

Hogan basically plays himself, only he is known as Rip. Rip is the hottest thing on T.V. and his WWF appearances garner the highest ratings for his network. In a eerie portent of things to come (Hogan would later jump to rival WCW), a network boss tries to convince him to come over and work for him. Rip refuses and Brell (Kurt Fuller) will do whatever it takes to get him to appear on his network. He attempts to kidnap him, he tries and gets his sexiest executive (Joan Severance) to seduce him, and he comes up with some reality T.V. show where he tries to find the toughest man in the U.S. He discovers Zeus (Tiny Lister), a crazy ex-con who dismantles his opponents and is dubbed "The Human Wrecking Machine". One day, Rip's steroid-free brother Randy visits the set of Zeus' show and he gets his head kicked in. That is the impetus for Rip to finally face off against Zeus in a TNA-style ring.

To be honest, the film is awful but it is funny. Hogan beating up robbers at Vi's Diner, Hogan seducing Severance, Hogan's "dookie" scene, etc. Yes, there are some cool wrestling scenes and I'm sure Vince enjoys seeing two hosses bashing each other but today, those matches are so boring and tame. The dialogue is some of the worst and the acting is over-the-top. Also, the film has some brutal violence. Men are being brutally beaten up and left for dead and it's done in a very graphic manner. This film isn't for kids. However, for those who cherish bad films this is a must see. Hogan's films always are among the worst. At least Hogan helped Tiny Lister Jr. get his foot in the door in Hollywood as he has had plenty of small roles since then.

Maybe the funniest thing was seeing WWF wrestlers appearing on insets during their matches saying that you should go see No Holds Barred right away. It's sad that Vince had so little self-esteem that he had to force his superstars to rave about the film or else be depushed. Still, the film shows what a marketing genius Vinnie Mac was in the 80's.