Tue, Jan 9, 1996
Inspired by a French movie, Jennie wants the ideal family picnic. Much to the dismay of everyone else. Weaving 'flowers' into Tiffany's hair turns disastrous, Ross gets bitten by a rabid gopher, and Jack falls down a precipice. All just to prove a point: Watching foreign movies is bad for your health.
Tue, Apr 30, 1996
Mr. Floppy writes a dark and twisted tale, his autobiography. Down in the cellar, Jennie picks it up, and reckons Jack to be the new writing sensation. Tiffany believes they are all going to be rid of their middle class stigma. Happy days, happy family. Then Jack reads the sordid tale. He insists on a happy ending. But then the whole cake falls flat.
Tue, May 21, 1996
Ryan brings home Crystal, a fetching blonde several years his senior. And already with two children. He thinks she's marriage material. Everybody else thinks he's nuts. They want her out. And Mr. Floppy has a thing about shoes. Ladies' shoes. Tiffany's patent leather. But then he gets squashed.
Sat, Sep 7, 1996
Smart, blond, tall and long-legged, not to mention equally devious, Sable hits the scene, and Tiffany is worried about having competition that is going to keep her on her toes. Dark secrets are exchanged in a game of detente. Only to get spilled. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star gets a whole new meaning.
Sat, Oct 5, 1996
Ryan is delusional after getting struck by lightning, and expects to have superhero powers. Behold, alter ego Lightning Boy prances about the kitchen in underwear that is outerwear. Jenny wants the experience to boost Ryan's confidence in himself. Everybody humors Ryan as he sets himself up for a confrontation with an earth-bound meteor.
Sat, Nov 2, 1996
Loser boy Ryan has a band. Thanks to hot sis Tiffany. Sleazy-looking record producer took one look at the haphazardly shot promo video, saw inadvertent walk-on redhead sister with the long, long legs, and signed on the loser band. See Ryan perform. Just try not to hear him squawk, er, sing. Then see Glorious Tiffany do the Gloria Estefan to the Miami - no, Malloy - Sound Machine.
Sat, Nov 23, 1996
Breaking out into sprays of sweat every time he's near a girl, Ryan resorts to copious overuse of deodorant. By the cans full. Caking his underarms. After Tiffany lost out on an unwise bet, she had to find him a date. Turns out she's a refugee set on American citizenship. At all costs. Told by the desperate woman that she prefers manly smells, he delves about and sheds excess bricks of powdery mess there in the car. Which leaves evidence that gets misinterpreted as cocaine abuse by all-of-a-sudden concerned parents Jack and Jennie who watched an Are Your Kids On Drugs alert on TV.