User Reviews

I can completely understand other reviews saying it was horrible. The acting and script was ridiculous. There was a random lesbian scene involving chili being licked off toes, peaches and Vienna sausages. The "foxy Cleopatra"esquire deputy used words like Jive Turkey, I'll baste this turkey and sucka also the male cheerleader called people dingle-berries. The convicts called people ass-clowns and they were also ridiculous.

Given all that, somehow, I liked it. It was funny and I think (or at least hope) that it was meant to be. I gave it a 4 because it was entertaining to watch on an October afternoon. There certainly are millions of better movies out there though!

Ron Jeremy is after cheerleaders, just not in the way you believe. He's a soul reaper for Satan and in order to defeat him, the body will have to be blessed with a prayer(and holy water)to release him from the bondage of hell..or something like that. Andre was once a nice, church-going fellow who sold his soul after God betrayed him by taking his family in an accident. It's just unfortunate for cheerleaders heading cross country to a contest when they come across Andre. The Beaver(yuk, yuk)Cheerleader Squad, two escaped cons, and a tough-talking sista( the county deputy; with a bad case of arachnophobia) packing a shot gun and attitude will have to contend with Andre.

Andre is impervious to death. Bullets are fired at his direction hitting everything but him, in one particular scene. Faye Canada's Deputy Hollingsworth is able to take Andre's arm off with a shot gun blast, but he just staples it back on..reflexes fine, all good as new. He seems to have up, close, and personal camera recordings of his targets, parlaying their "sins" back to them via television screen that is unplugged. Oh, and Andre has a device that cuts off power such as a vehicle which halts our group's plans to escape.

Ludicrous plot(intentionally silly, I imagine)allows Jeremy to have all kinds of fun killing folks. I believe this is the first time I can recall seeing a head butt decapitating someone. Or, urine used as holy water! A movie this stupid will have it's supporters("It's not to be taken seriously")and Jeremy will bring the curious to see him wield a machete and butcher knives(he also wears a blow torch helmet!). A running gore gag has a deputy(whose whole lower half is removed)begging for everyone who passes by to kill him, his intestines strewn out on the ground..yep, it's that kind of movie, people. Does include lesbian smooching and camera shots up and down Heather Joy Budner's legs and body(although, I do believe the filmmakers used a body double for her breasts' shots). April Billingsly, the heroine, gets to kickbox Jeremy in the finale so that might interest some viewers. Gene Nash is the old timer hillbilly narrator with a harmonica..you know old folks who use profanity are always funny, right. Some cannibal jokes are included as well as the usual sexual innuendo(notice one scene where Billingsly and Budner discuss virginity and sexual orientation using Vienna sausages).

Well, what can I say? We rented this for my friend's 18th birthday, and regretted it. Between the horrible dialogue, sub-par 70's gore, and semi-pornographic content, this movie is just about enough to make you want to rent a chick flick or an Al Gore movie.

This movie has absolutely no continual plot until roughly 20 minutes before the end. You follow 4 horny cheerleaders, 2 lonely convicts, and a crazed cannibalistic serial killer. There is really no point to most of the film, no story to explain anything at all. The plot finally thickens when you learn the back-story of one of the convicts, and the story of Andre (played by ex-porn star Ron Jeremy) is finally revealed. However, even this is hard to follow and very cheesy.

If you're into poorly-written scripts, un-passable blood, and low-grade softcore teen porn, then I would suggest buying this movie. In fact, save us all the pain, and buy EVERY COPY YOU FIND. No one else really wants to see it.

I like "Andre the Butcher". I really do.

And I'm not a plant, or a crew member, or one of the actors, or a sniveling jerk who enjoys the anonymous superiority of mean-spirited bad-mouthing on a flick's message board...but I'll tell you what I am: A life-long fan of horror films.

I am. So much so, that I'd even ask Clive Turner to sign my Fango #134. Seriously. Which can only mean that I am not only extremely forgiving, but also ridiculously undemanding. Of my enjoyment of horror films, that is. I'm not even gonna compare "Andre..." to other direct to video fare. Since when has a horror movie deserved that? Excuse me for invoking a cliché; but do any of us really put "The Exorcist" and "Slumber Party Massacre 2" back to back and discuss the parallels of their merits and letdowns? Theoretically, of course; we all know "Slumber Party Massacre 2" has no faults. Gosh, look me, going on and on. Okay, here we go: 10 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT "ANDRE THE BUTCHER" (...in no particular order. Bear with me if you can...) 1) The lack of pretension. Thank God, Phil Cruz isn't a moralist, that's all I'll say.

2) The fake-ass spider.

3) Justin Capaz as Jimbo...allow me to direct your attention to this character. And allow me to remind you of two other characters from two other horror films: Grady in "Freddy's Revenge" and the @$$hole Boyfriend in "Slumber Party Massacre 2". Three brilliant actors? Quite possibly.

4) Fast pace. You think it moves to slow? It's because you just looove the indie cred of digging newer Troma movies.

5) Fat people dying because they love to eat.

6) Jumping from behind a tree into karate stance with a boner.

7) Body double.

8) I happen to think the "It's Good!" joke is very funny.

9) "No nudity clause" 10) Holy urine.

Like I said, I'm not too demanding. And maybe it has to do with the fact that I wasn't sitting by myself after renting this thing. I didn't pop it into my DVD player and fast-forward after two seconds, and I didn't drool over my remote at "half-mast" waiting for the sex scenes only to be disappointed at their lack of any real sexuality, thus holding a grudge over a flick for it not allowing me to get off. In fact, if I had any advice to give some particularly vitriolic reviewers of this movie, or lonely people the world over--rent "Teenage Cavegirl". Seriously. That'll do it for you.

Look, obviously I don't need much to enjoy myself. A little blood, a little boobs, an explosion and a fake-ass spider. And if that's what you want, you'll probably dig "Andre the Butcher". You certainly won't get it in "Pledge Night". Sorry, I'm starting to sound like Subovon from Houston.

Guys, check this movie out. Support independent film, and if you can make a better movie, please do! We'd all love to see it. And I mean that in the most heartfelt, honest way. In fact, most of us will probably even help you make it. Because if there's anything we life-long horror fans of horror love, it's more horror movies to be life-long fans of.

And that rhymes.

This is a bad movie, but is it so bad it is good? For me, it wasn't.

This is an indie-style horror flick. But it's one of the 2005-era "horror comedies". So if you're looking for chills, you will be disappointed - there really were no scary moments.

There's a lot that fails. Some of the acting is brutal. The story is full of holes. Some of the dialogue (a lot of it) is extremely poor. All of the scare moments and many of the funny moments fall flat.

Despite that, I feel a little guilty to pan this film. There are some nice ideas, some of the actors turn in a good performance, the atmosphere in places is even well-done: at times it is dark, dreary and confined which is why it's a shame the scare moments fail.

** spoilers ** Ron Jeremy is largely wasted as the killer. There are no in-jokes about him except the one deleted scene in the DVD.

The idea of broadcasting the sins of the victims through the TV really worked for me. But Ron kills pretty much indiscriminately when he's not watching the TV, so that pearl of an idea was really wasted.

Sigh. I could go on complaining, but I'm too disappointed. This was almost a camp classic, but I can't even recommend it as a cult movie. Frustrating!

This could quite possibly be the worst movie ever. It looked like it was made in some guys garage and in his backyard. There was nothing scary about it as it seems to be. If u want to be scared don't watch this movie. It has random Sheriffs that pop out of no where that have shirts that say SHERIFF on the front and the killing scenes were funny, not even scary. My favorite of the few was when the guy was head butted and his head disintegrated. Also the sex scenes were the gross and disgusting and ill never look at chili and sausages the same way again. Insults were lame also. Let me point out the reference to dinglebarry and fart knocker. Save yourself some time and don't watch this movie.

PS- Why did Ron Jeremy decide to do this movie.

Before people get all crazy, the above rating is on, overall, how good a movie it was. It was somewhat clear, and had some funny/creative moments in it. Now, for more specifics.

The Cons: This movie drags. It's about an hour and a half, and if this is the only entertainment or focus for the time you watch it, it will be hard to resist turning it off. However, if you're having a get together or friends over or something like that, this would be fun. The acting is bad. The special effects aren't good. And it's nowhere near scary or disturbing.

The Pros: (1) At one point, there is a fight between two cheerleader squads. I've never seen a horror movie with two cheerleader squads, much less two of them duking it out. (2) Ron Jeremy is the killer. It's really nice to see this guy branch out, clean his image up a bit for the kids. (3) There's this guy who's always screaming for mercy. He's been severed at the waist, and he asks for people to kill him. He's like a mini, hugely-apparent easter egg every time he shows up. (4) The end, while somewhat boring, gets points for creativity. Let's just say that Holy Urine used to condemn a butcher to hell, well, that's pretty funny. (5) Oh, yes, and the narrator: an old guy playing the harmonica as he uses modern vernacular. Pretty priceless.

Conclusion: If you're looking for a good piece of film or a thrill, do not get this movie. If you're looking for a good, half-brained, 'interesting' piece of horror to keep on while doing something else, it might be worth checking out.

So, the guys at KillerReviews.com are all over this film, praising it and kissing the director's buttocks in an interview. The review says you have to have a sense of humor to appreciate it. Well, let me say I saw the humor but was still let down unparalleled.

This review is a companion to my review for "The Janitor" because there is a difference between good bad horror and bad bad horror. This is simply bad (unlike "The Janitor").

The writing I think is decent, because the idea is classic horror: cheerleaders, slasher, cops, etc. But the execution was awful. The acting was very weak and the characters took themselves very seriously even though they have no skills. The music made no sense and was more of a nuisance than anything half the time (especially because it was much louder than the vocal track of the film).

Some scenes made no sense. Particularly, the television scene. I guess since the film has a supernatural element to it that we can invent ways this makes sense, but I really don't want to work that hard on thinking about this. Also, the scene where the main character finds out how to stop the monster... I do not understand.

The things the Killer Review guy liked: the eyeballs and the scabs... very disappointing and completely unscary and unrealistic.

Even the nudity was a sham. Whiel there does exist one scene that is quite sexy, overall the women in this film are played up to be a lot more attractive than they actually are. In another review I read the girls were "homely" and this is a fair assessment. (I normally do not judge actresses on their bodies, but when you are cast as a stereotypical sexpot cheerleader and you are only average looking, the casting director really dropped the ball.) I enjoyed Ron Jeremy reattaching his arms. I enjoyed him giving the "field goal" sign when hitting people. I enjoyed the chili scene. I absolutely loved April Billingsley, who was by far the only really decent actress or actor in the movie. And I liked how the monster was defeated (don't worry, no spoilers). But these things simply were not good enough to overcome all the shortcomings. Sorry.

Watch this film at your own peril. Rent or buy "The Janitor" instead.

First of all, this movie was meant to be a B-rated cheesy horror flick. You cannot take anything with Ron Jeremy in it too seriously anyhow (non-porno that is). I was expecting a serious, brutal gore-fest, but instead got a fun, gory, laughable movie. There's the usual blood, babes, and boobs and a hilarious old timer who helps narrate the tale. There is even a "fart" scene. Gee, what else could you ask for? The effects are decent for this type of flick and the acting isn't all that bad. Plus, there are a couple of hot looking chicks that aren't hard on the eyes. I just wish the DVD had more extras, like maybe a behind the scenes featurette or interviews with the actors and actresses. Anyhow, looking for a cheesy, fun, enjoyable late night movie? Check it out!

If you like slasher movies and would like to enjoy a refreshing gore-and-boobies movie, this is for you. From the incredibly creative minds of Phil Cruz and James Hyde comes this witty humorous horror flick. How funnier can you get when you have Ron Jeremy feeding off his own flesh, who staples his arm back to his body after being blown away, and who summons chubby girls to their death by suspending a donut from a tree? Young men with hard peckers, scantly clad cheerleaders, blood and guts. It's raw, it's indie, it's here. Now it is what it is so be aware this is not a made-for-Oscar flick. The best way to enjoy this movie is by gathering a few friends, eating a wide variety of potato chips and knocking back a few cold ones.