Adrian232's Reviews

The Good Nurse (2022)

3/10

Slow with unnecessarily artificial tension

26 February 2023

I may be a little biased since I have read about the details of the true story prior to watching this film. It seems to me that the creators didn't like the tension that the true story had and decided to just invent their own. All of the parts that I found tense reading about this case were either removed or downplayed in the film. Instead, they have almost completely invented every tense scene. And the peak of that tension more often than not involves someone randomly shouting at another person. I guess it's the only way the director knows how to do it, but it just ends up coming across as very unnatural and the only way some characters show any emotion.

Additionally, the movie moves very slowly. I'm normally a fan of movies that give some space for emotion and character development, but here it seems to be done excessively without any purpose in boring scenes. This movie could have been cut down to an hour and a half and been more engaging. Or they could have added more details from the true story that they decided to leave out.

I'm left with a feeling that the creators didn't really care much for the source and were really struggling to figure out what the important bits of the story were, which is strange to me because I feel like it mostly tells itself. The book and documentary are far more engaging.

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

3/10

Unwatchable

19 May 2019

This movie is completely unwatchable. I've enjoyed previous entries in the Resident Evil movie franchise-even where the plot was stale there was enough Milla Jovovich action to be entertaining. In this film the action sequences are not good. They use so many jump cuts combined with a shaky camera that you can't see anything. I'm talking 5 jump cuts to show a single punch. I can't even tell whose fist it is. The camera might as well have been facing the sky. On the plus side that means I can't judge whether the choreography was good or not (probably not, which may be why it was edited it this way).

I'm not sure how you can screw it up this bad, but better to just avoid this movie entirely, especially if you are prone to motion sickness or seizures.

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

3/10

Unwatchable

19 May 2019

This movie is completely unwatchable. I've enjoyed previous entries in the Resident Evil movie franchise-even where the plot was stale there was enough Milo Jovovich action to be entertaining. In this film the action sequences are not good. They use so many hard cuts combined with a shaky camera that you can't see anything. I'm talking 5 hard cuts to show a single punch. I can't even tell whose fist it is. The camera might as well have been facing the sky. On the plus side than means I can't judge whether the choreography was good or not (probably not, which may be why they edited it this way).

I'm not sure how you can screw it up this bad, but better to just avoid this movie entirely, especially if you are prone to seizures.

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Cabin Fever (2016)

1/10

Why did they bother?

17 September 2016

This movie is a near exact remake of the 2002 original. They add nothing new to the movie, while simultaneously removing all the subtleties that made the original movie good.

The score is a little over the top at times. The acting is OK, but Samuel Davis' performance was a bit irksome. I think maybe they made the locals appear a little bit more sane compared to the original, perhaps taking a tip from Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. They could have gone farther and ramped up the dark comedy elements, but there were none. The creators shouldn't have bothered with this movie, and neither should you.

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Houdini (2014)

4/10

Truth is more interesting than fiction

6 March 2015

It seems in the interest of inspiring awe, the creators of this series removed all of the actual awe around this legendary person and replaced it with annoying effects and hurried editing. The voice-over narration is uninspired, and makes the genius Houdini sound like a nitwit. The relationship between him and his family is reduced down to clichés and is indicative of lazy screen writing.

The worst part is that the actual history and character of Houdini is astounding and truly awe-inspiring. It doesn't need bells and whistles to be entertaining. All of this extra fluff was completely unnecessary and removes from the entertainment.

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Gone Girl (2014)

9/10

Brilliant, well-acted movie

15 February 2015

Warning: Spoilers

Apparently I missed all the hype surrounding this movie. I came into it half-blind and was just expecting a decent mystery thriller. What I got was a classic film that kept me interested all the way through to the end.

Ben Affleck is clearly in the prime of his career and played the role of Nick perfectly. All of the supporting cast and co-star Rosamund Pike do amazing jobs with their characters as well. Trent Reznor's score is also a masterpiece as usual. All around the production is superb.

The plot is also intriguing and takes a new approach to a well-traveled genre. Even when predictable at times, the twists aren't made the focus. There are no "a-ha" moments, just "oh sh*t". The movie switches from mystery to thriller to psychological horror seamlessly, intertwined with elements of dark comedy. My main criticisms are really just two things; The abrupt ending which left me feeling hanging, but is forgivable since it makes for a solid horror element. And the character of Amy turning from passably human to glaring sociopath immediately following her reveal as a manipulative psychopath (despite speaking several times in front of an apparently detailingly observant and critical public).

I've read through several of the low score reviews on this site and it seems that most people who didn't like this movie because of the (supposed) plot holes simply weren't paying attention. Almost everything can be explained by a few key points:

1) Amy, while not being perfect in her methods, was very meticulous in her planning. She got Nick to take a walk on the beach alone in order for him to have no alibi for the time of her disappearance, and was very good at predicting the behavior of other people, as good sociopaths do. Nothing was done on a whim until she makes her first mistake and has to resort to desperate measures.

2) Amy was much more poetic in her plot than she was careful, and the police (particularly Rhonda) were always suspicious of the convenient evidence. Ultimately, the police only reacted on the solid evidence they had, and put the loose ends on the back burner. Then before they could really address them, the investigation quickly became outside of their control. Once Amy decidedly returned, she eliminated the suspicion of foul play on the part of Nick and everyone called it case closed. The loose ends didn't really have to be explained, and Amy just handwaved everyone with the tragedy of her kidnapping. (Side note: Amy saw her whole life as a fictional story, since her mother wrote her as one starting as a little child. She chased her fictional counterpart almost to the letter, and in adulthood decided to write her own story which she creates for the public. Her handwave is a commentary on the acceptance of the reader's suspension of disbelief.)

3) The press were camping outside of Nick's and Margo's houses. While Nick could occasionally sneak out on his own, this would have made it impossible to move all the "gifts" in the shed without anybody noticing.

4) None of the cameras at the lake house were pointed indoors, they were all security cameras watching potential points of entry. Amy knew this because she could see all of the cameras. This made it perfectly convenient for her to play it up for the cameras by scuffing up NPH's character and faking her rape. Her explanations for all of this is a bit farcical, and make up some of the dark comedy of the movie, but is not horribly outside the realm of possibility.

While I'm sure there are some legitimate plot holes, they were hidden well enough that it did not break the suspension of disbelief (at least for me). And for a genre almost comically characterized by ridiculous plot holes (see: basically every movie from the 90's) they did an extremely good job at covering these up. I employ those who had issues with the plot to go and watch the movie again and pay attention to the all-important details.

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Pain & Gain (2013)

9/10

Cult classic

29 August 2014

Let me start this out by saying I hate Michael Bay. I hate Michael Bay. OK, OK, he's not the worst director in Hollywood. He's got his s**t together, and people are willing to pay him to glue together the worst movie ideas and turn them into a semi-watchable blockbuster. However, Pain & Gain isn't one of these movies.

"Wait, how does that make it good?" You ask? Well, my position is that Bay actually cared about this movie. He pitched this movie for years, even when he was a more struggling director, and nobody would buy it. Eventually, this movie was made on a measly budget of $26 million. Not exactly peanuts, but nowhere near the budget Bay is used to. I believe this encouraged him to put some real thought into it.

First of all, this is a dark, dark comedy at its core. It's Fargo ramped up to eleven and edited into the pace of a 2-hour-long seat-edging action thriller. The movie manages to go from serious, to gory, to slapstick all in a matter of minutes, and somehow still manages to work. It'll be impossible to keep yourself from cracking out in laughter, even though all of the characters are completely unlikable and self-absorbed. The movie constantly mocks gym jocks, self-help optimism, and class privilege. The acting is superb. All of the cast was well chosen, from Dwayne to Shalhoub and especially Wahlberg. And that shocking fridge horror moment comes with the realization that it all actually happened. Yes, unlike Fargo, that disclaimer at the beginning of the movie is an honest one, and the actual events are even more outrageous than this movie itself.

Most of the criticism seems to come from this movie being made as humor deriving from a true event, but I don't think it could have been done better any differently. All of the changes made to the events were understandable in order to make it watchable as a movie; Adding extra humor in order to balance the absurdity, merging a few characters into one much larger one, or even actually *toning down* a few parts to make them more believable. There are so many memorable moments that are permanently affixed to my brain, unlike other Bay films which are utterly forgettable. That makes this a cult classic, and easily one of my favorite movies.

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Twilight (I) (2008)

5/10

Better than expected

6 December 2008

After watching this movie after reading all the reviews, I was actually surprised how much I enjoyed it. Sure, it was loaded with really cheesy lines. And some things made absolutely no sense whatsoever ("Come on, spider monkey", wtf?). But throughout the movie, I could tell how good the books must have been... despite the whole vampires shimmering in the sunlight thing. In fact, there were a lot of mechanics involved here that were very subtle in the movie... Mind reading, seeing the future, natives originating from wolves, etc.

But, still the one thing that makes absolutely no sense is why the hell a vampire, having lived for decades or maybe even centuries, would be going to high school? Screw having a cover, you could easily pretend you're 18 instead of 17. But honestly, who would choose to go to high school and take Biology risking exposure, and then fall in love with a young naive girl such as Bella? Actually, their entire relationship makes no sense except for their unnatural attraction for each other. All she knows is that she is scared, and yet completely 100% unconditionally in love with him? That is begging for failure. Yet so high school at the same time... Hell, at least the movie did get the whole high school atmosphere down correctly. The supporting characters were all believable. Even though I wanted to smack them.

But all in all, it was a decent movie. And i hope the sequels will be much better.

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Juno (2007)

4/10

Terrible

9 October 2008

This movie seemed to me to be more of a typical chick flick than anything. It seemed to be trying too hard to be ironic and to make the characters seem cute, but they didn't quite get it. The dialog reminded me a bit too much of Gilmore Girls on morphine, and the main character had such an ugly personality yet all of the supporting characters will jump out of their seats to defend her, and you will too simply because she is pregnant... But yet the most annoying part of this film, was the soundtrack. That music was just plain awful, and come to think of it really complimented the movie in that way, trying to be too ironic and cutesy, trying to spark emotions that aren't even there... and was all too repetitious and bland.

A movie is not a deep film just because they say it is. In fact, whoever called this Indie needs to be shot. Just watching the opening credits one can tell that this was a major budget movie masquerading as something unique. In fact, it was all too cliché and felt like it was written by somebody in their 40s pretending like they knew what being pregnant and 16 was all about, yet missing the mark by about 5 years in either direction. But, as being such a big budget movie as it was, they did at least get good acting, especially on the part of Jason Bateman... and Ellen Page was good at least with what she had to work with.

So, in short, if you are past your prime, and a female, this might be a good movie to watch and you might even enjoy it. But do not, under any circumstances, associate it with the words deep, cute, indie, ironic, or realistic. It just isn't right.

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YPF (2007)

4/10

Way too much dialog for a film about sex

12 September 2008

OK this film wasn't all bad, but god damn, there wasn't a likable character in the whole bunch. Every single one of them I just wanted to punch in the face. Predictable? Yes. Realistic? Maybe. Enjoyable? Sure, why not. But speaking from a man who has been in every single one of these situations (well... but maybe not quite) if there was anywhere near as much dialog, it would never have gotten as far as section v.

Unfortunately it seems that this movie was written from one male perspective and one female perspective, as every same-gendered person has almost the exact same personality... with maybe only a few (yet extreme) differences. The only characters I could relate to are The Third Wheel and Girl on Elevator. They're the only ones who made sense.

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Zombie Strippers! (2008)

7/10

Wonderfully Grotesque

11 September 2008

All you could ever hope for in a low budget movie called "Zombie Strippers".

I never thought the classic B movie could ever be done again in this decade, but here it is made even better with today's effects standards. A marine who keeps getting her top ripped off. Cheesy one-liner roles like the "I like knives" guy. A ditz with an existential problem. Men writing out checks to cash for $1. The lines are classic, the scenes are classic, even the action is classic. And with all that blood and gore, I couldn't help but be turned on. The only thing I could ask for more is the violent catfighting of naked rotting female strippers.

"Oysters are a mollusk, not a crustacean." F'n classic.

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Iron Man (2008)

9/10

Outlandish and Fantastic!

10 September 2008

Absolutely the best movie I have seen in ages.

Robert Downey Jr. does quite an excellent performance. Tony Stark is the perfect arrogant asshole you hate to love. Yet he is such a buffoon sometimes you want to smack him. Every second of this movie is a complete riot, well scripted, and the actors pull it off perfectly. The director delivers just enough action to make it entertaining and keep you on the edge of your seat, without overdoing it for as much a second. And the best thing? There wasn't a single "gotcha" moment that makes no sense, unlike some other comic-based movies that will remain nameless...

My favorite goof in the movie, though, are the monitors in Tony's basement with the Dell logo in the front and an Apple logo on the back, rofl. I especially enjoyed that little detail (though product placement rich) because I use an Apple computer with a Dell monitor and it gets me strange looks when everybody sees it ;)

The only thing this movie is missing is a bondage scene, Secretary style, between Tony and Pepper. You Know What I'm Talking About >;)

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Hancock (2008)

7/10

Not what I expected

10 September 2008

This movie was not quite what I was expecting at all. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I was expecting more of a generic superhero movie, but what I got was more of a character study than anything else. Hancock isn't so much a superhero as he is an indestructible force, a god if you will, who has just sort of lost the will to care about collateral damage or public image... and on top of that an anger problem to boot. A plot twist is thrown in there to explain his past and moves the plot in quite a different direction than what would be expected, eventually leading up to the inevitable happy ending.

I would consider Hancock something like a mix between Spider-Man and The Incredibles, then garnish with a little Will Smith and it makes for a fairly entertaining movie.

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The Happening (2008)

4/10

Downhill after the first 5 minutes

8 September 2008

Warning: Spoilers

This movie was surprisingly a drag, and after that shock opener it is really a sad fact. They have a couple of good scenes thrown in there, but it was all accompanied by absolutely terrible dialogue. The propaganda was way off the charts, and it became blatantly obvious where the movie was headed.

What is up with the so-called scientists in this movie? They put the main character as a high school science teacher, but teaches his class that nature cannot be explained or understood? The whole point of science is to try to understand nature by research and observation. And when a large portion of the US is wiped out by a neurochemical, the only "scientist" they can find for TV can't come up with anything better than "the plants have taken revenge"? I'm not even a biologist, and I could postulate more likely scenarios. Like, it may have been isolated by particular new variants in species, and the species only had enough time to spread so far. Hell, they have even found vastly different chemicals produced in remains of the exact same species. Where is my peer review?

What bothered me the most were the choices of death scenes. For a person who has thought a lot about death in his life, the characters (though amusing) were really choosing some unusual ways to end their pitiful existences. Passing up a perfectly good shard of glass in favor of bashing their head against the wall... Choosing to activate a tractor to mow yourself over rather than just rip the blade out by hand... Waiting for the last person to finish with the gun before using it... Hell, these outlandishly creative solutions take a functional mind just to come up with. If I suddenly had the urge to do myself in, I would scramble for the first thing I saw and make the best use out of it I could. I wouldn't get nearly that creative until long after my first attempts fail.

Honestly, I do have to give major props to Shyamalan for originality, I don't think anyone's ever tried to make an antagonist out of a gentle breeze before, let alone pull it off. But he could have at least left some of it up to the imagination, thrown out at least a dozen theories and let the viewers decide... I always feel so cheated when the writers spell out what is going on, as if I were too dumb to figure it out or come up with my own conclusion.

Do better next time! (as if anybody's listening)

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Vantage Point (2008)

5/10

A linear plot for a nonlinear tagline

8 September 2008

Although the previews and synopsis would have you believe that this movie is shown in a nonlinear style, it is actually quite the opposite. And for such this comes down to the key necessity: Subtlety. This movie lacks of any such kind.

They attempt the overused "rewind effect" to try to deliver the plot from 8 points of view, however in each rewind only a little bit more of the plot is revealed, most of which is something that happens after the end of the previous rewind anyway. They fill in the gap to the next plot point mostly with pointless filler and repeat footage from the same exact angle you saw it before. And about 3/4 of the way through the movie they just throw their rewind effect right out the window and go back to the more traditional linear character switching to deliver the remainder of the plot. The movie completely relies upon cut-off scenes that end by not showing something vital. Very cheap suspense.

The only saving grace of the movie was the action. Very well acted, and choreographed (well, with the exception of the car chase). And the explosions and chaos well done. I only really wished for more subtlety in plot lines, because, well... once the movie was over, that was it. There was nothing more to the movie than what they plainly showed you. The plot itself was not even remotely believable. And I left the movie feeling cheated.

Hope you enjoy it more than I did.

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Meet the Spartans (2008)

1/10

Wtf

4 September 2008

This movie is horribly bad. I only have two words to describe this movie: Product Placement. You may as well just TiVo an hour's worth of primetime commercial breaks. Hell, that might even give you more laughs. Every single joke delivered in this movie was like a summary of every other bad joke nobody laughed at in the moves released this past decade. The only thing this movie left me wondering was what the hell Kevin Sorbo was thinking when he signed the contract.

The only reason I watched this movie was because of passing references made by various friends. And it's not that I don't get the pop culture references or how shockingly easy it must have been to achieve the same effects as The 300, but I just don't get how the producers keep coming up with these over-budgeted pieces of crap. And worse yet, why people buy them. Even all the sex appeal of this movie was purely targeted at gay men. Not even Carmen Electra could spice things up enough. And if I see another dick joke today I will be forced to gouge my own eyes out and serve them up with some Caesar dressing.

No wonder this is the worst movie ever.

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