I saw this movie a couple of years ago back in...2006 or 7? I got to say...this movie is CRAP! The only good scene is at the start when the two people are having sex in the tent. That was awesome but apart from that...it was a complete failure. The movie is about a snake and I watched about 1 hour of it and in that hour I only saw the snake once. That's how crap it is. Seriously...this movie is God awful. If you're looking for a good movie...DON'T WATCH THIS. God was I bored watching this. Eventually my mom just said "change the channel this movie is shi*" I'm telling you...this movie is a train wreck. Don't watch it. If fact I recommend that you recommend to no one to watch this movie. It's just bad...plain and simple. Don't know what the hell was going on through the directors mind
Reviews
43 Reviews
The Descent
(2005)
Pretty good
29 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This is a pretty good movie. At first I was bored and wanted to watch something else because I thought that ALL this movie that this movie is about is some girls that trapped in a cave. But then that boredom feeling went away. This is a good horror. Lots of bloody violence. The one flaw in the movie is the ending. It leaves you with a question - So do they all die or does she get away? The Crawlers (thats the monsters in the cave) aren't really that scary but overall: it's a pretty good movie. I don't know how this movie got an 18 certificate rating - I've seen loads of other horrors and they're a thousand times more horrific than this one. If movies were judged by my standard - this would have gotten a 15 certificate or a 12 certificate if some of the scenes had been deleted. 8/10.
Grand Theft Auto IV
(2008 Video Game)
The worst GTA I've played
26 July 2009
I've played GTA: Vice City Stories (pretty good), San Andreas (Excellent) and then this (bad). The graphics are extremely good and things seem almost as in real-life. My mate let me borrow this game and I was thinking to myself...YES! The results proved that this game was abysmal. One of the main flaws in this game are the crappy fighting moves + the almost impossible to drive cars. I don't know how people can say that this game is good because I personally think that it is probably the worst in the series. If you're a GTA fan then DON'T play this game because 8/10 chance is that you'll be disappointed. Crap game...graphics - 9/10, rest - 2/10. Overall 3/10
Condemned 2: Bloodshot
(2008 Video Game)
Very impressive horror
22 July 2009
I haven't played the first Condemned but this one is supposedly better and I think it is brilliant. It is very effective to give someone the scare and I think this is a very good horror game. The interesting thing about it is that it isn't the monsters that make this game scary but other things.
1). The first thing that makes this game a horror is the location that you are in. Dark, abandoned and a very rough city where potential dangers lurk almost around every corner.
2). Although the city is abandoned, phsycopaths lurk around the city. Things called Sonic Devices are scattered around the city which emit waves that basically fu*k up people's brains and make them go insane and violent. This isn't your average rough city. This is super-rough.
3). The third thing is the monsters themselves. Like the phsycopaths, monsters lurk around the city as well, waiting for you to go into the wrong place and then...your basically done for.
I highly recommend this game to horror game fans. This will surly give you a good scare. (I haven't even completed it and I love it!)
1). The first thing that makes this game a horror is the location that you are in. Dark, abandoned and a very rough city where potential dangers lurk almost around every corner.
2). Although the city is abandoned, phsycopaths lurk around the city. Things called Sonic Devices are scattered around the city which emit waves that basically fu*k up people's brains and make them go insane and violent. This isn't your average rough city. This is super-rough.
3). The third thing is the monsters themselves. Like the phsycopaths, monsters lurk around the city as well, waiting for you to go into the wrong place and then...your basically done for.
I highly recommend this game to horror game fans. This will surly give you a good scare. (I haven't even completed it and I love it!)
I thought it really good
16 July 2009
I'm not a fan of Transformers, I haven't even seen the animated cartoons OR the 1st Transformers movie which came out in 2007. I saw the trailer for this movie and it pretty good and considering that many people said that the 1st one was absolutely excellent, I went and saw this one. I haven't seen the 1st Transformers movie but this was really good. Great effects, intense fighting scenes and Megan Fox. Megan Fox is well fit, she's probably one of the most sexiest actresses I've ever seen. The one bad this about the film is that the plot is unclear. Apart from that, well done Michael Bay for making this good piece of work. If there is a 3rd Transformers movie coming into cinemas and I sure hope there is, I'm going definitely going to watch it. Many people who have seen the 1st Transformers say that this is not as good but I haven't seen the n1st one and yet I think this is really good.
8/10
8/10
Cloverfield
(2008)
This disappointed me
7 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Since I took a GCSE Media course, we get to watch loads of films. Unfortunately we had to watch this. Rubbish ending, hardly get to see the monster until somewhere at the end where it eats that man up then spits him out. Also the camera was annoying. There were SOME decent parts in but overall...it was rubbish. I expected it to be good but after 45 mins of watching it...I knew it was a failure. Most of the people in my class thought it was rubbish and so did I. The girls were fit in the film...we agreed to that but overall...not as good as expected. I was fairly disappointed at the ending. It was rubbish. Overall I personally think this film deserves a 3/10.
Dragon Wars: D-War
(2007)
Why do I even bother?
4 May 2009
Seriously....why do I even bother thinking that some movies are worth the money? This movie is worthless. It is...it's just bad. The special effects for the dragons is just something you would laugh at. The plot is stupid as it is! The only good thing about it was that the girl was as fit as hell. Apart from that it was just...well...there isn't really a word to describe the failure of this movie. It is just so bad. I don't recommend it to anyone...in fact I recommend that people don't recommend this movie! The action in this movie is just...oh god it's horrible. I highly recommend to anyone that they pass up watching this movie. This movie is a horror...not the genre horror but literally, this movie is actually a horror to watch. Do NOT watch this film. Bad acting, bad effects, bad plot...bad everything. 2/10 (the 2 is for the fit girl)
The Golden Compass
(2007)
What the FU*K was this?!
4 May 2009
I walked into the cinema happy to see this film because the trailer looked excellent and it had surpassed by expectations. I walked out and man was I fuc*ed off. Now I don't think I've seen a bad film in cinemas but for this...yeah there's a first time for everything. This movie was bad and i mean BAD. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. The plot was stupid and I'm not even going to put down my opinions on what I thought of dog-like girl in the movie. The ONLY good thing in this movie was the polar bear fight. I felt like I had paid 10 pounds for a cheeseburger that's been passed it's sell-by date for the past 6 months. The director must have been on a potent mix of class-A drugs and a large quantity of alcoholic beverages. My god man...1/10 is a luck rating for this piece of trash.
The Blair Witch Project
(1999)
what the FU*K was this?
3 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I had heard that this movie was a highly scary, very suspenseful and intense movie. Instead I get FU*KING NOTHING!!!!! No WAY should this film have been made. All it is is two lowlife idiots and an obsessed bitch who go into the forest to look for a 'Blaire Witch' What happens? They get lost in the forest, one of the stupid moronic dimwits decided to throw the map (the only thing that even remotely gives them a chance of getting out) in the creek. After that they decide to head south but they keep ending up back in the same place. The only thing is that this film has a slight suspenseful atmosphere but apart form that...nothing. I saw just about under half of the movie and i couldn't go on, it was so boring. What else I don't understand is that there are two guys and a girl in the forest. Obviously they're going to stressed. No sex? I mean come on, they had the best stress reliever right at their fingertips and nothing? Not even a kiss for fuc*s sake!No Horror, no sex...nothing. If you like watching horror movies then don't even glance at the movie. It was an insult for this to be considered a horror. 2/10
The Ring
(2002)
What the hell was this?!
7 December 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the movie Ringu back in 2006 which is the Japanese version of the Ring and it was a hell lot better than this crap! I've seen the proper Ring 2 and that was actually good as well. So why isn't this. I had to watch it in school because we're doing a Media project and this was absolute shi* It's not scary, it's not that intense and all me mates in class hated it. And who can blame them! I actually thought it would be good but it wasn't. The only bit that entertained me from killing myself was when Samara (what a shi* name) comes out the TV and kills the man. Apart from that it was rubbish. The stupid woman (Noami Watts) keeps on making copies of the film and then watches them! She even makes a copy so that her son watches it. Doesn't the fuc*ing phrase 'You will die in seven days' scare her! Overall this was shi* 2/10
Quantum of Solace
(2008)
Good Bond film
31 October 2008
I'm not a fan of Bond and the only MAIN reason I watched this film was because I'm reviewing this movie for my English GCSE coursework and the trailer looked alright. This film delivered for than I expected. Quantum of Solace is a high-octane action film and is very good. I haven't seen Casino Royale and I don't intend to (as I pointed out - I'm not a fan of Bond). I would've given it a 10/10 but in my opinion I think it needed more sex in the movie. As it is a James Bond film I would've thought it would have had a lot more sex in than just one scene and all you see in that is him and Fields naked in bed, him kissing her back then her neck and they move into bed and that's the end of the scene. Overall it is a good film - I recommend it to any Bond fan (which I am not for the third time) but it needs more sex. (The ladies are fit though) 9/10
Tangled
(2001)
you've got to be fuc*ing kidding me!
18 October 2008
I mean talk about stealing ideas! I watched this movie a few months ago and I also happened to watch an Indian movie in 2005 and you would not believe how closely related they are! Three people in this movie- two men and one women and the same for that movie. Same plot, same twist in the end same pretty much fuc*ing everything! EVERYTHING IS THE SAME!!!!!!!!! I mean is the director of this movie so shallow he has to steal form other movies and that movie happens to be an Indian movie as well. For shame, for shame. At first I thought it was a coincidence but after watching this movie and watching that Idnian film form before I have to say that the 2005 Indian movie and Tangled are like identical twins but this is the older one. (The Indian film is something like this: Ashique Banayaa Apne or something like that)
American Pie Presents: Beta House
(2007 Video)
i only watched forty minuets of it and I LOVED IT
17 October 2008
This is one of the funniest and most excellent movies ever made! Although I've only seen forty minuets of it and I must say this is a good movie. The plot if funny and because there's sex around pretty much every corner of this movie. It's really funny and I don't see how anyone could NOT like this film. I really really really want to watch the rest of the movie. It has one slightly sick scene in it (trust me, it's not very pleasant) but apart from that this is a great movie. I rate this movie an 7/8 for comedy, 10/10 for sexual content and 10/10 for the plot. PLease if your a fan of American Pie and you want to watch a movie where there's pretty much all sex in it the buy this movie. It WILL please you.
10/10
10/10
Fight Club
(1999)
very violent movie (absolutley not for the faint-hearted)
13 August 2008
First of all this movie is...well it's fu*king EXCELLENT! This movie is so good and the twist at the end and the plot twist is excellent. There is strong sex in this movie but this movie is not for the faint-hearted because of the very strong blood violence because it is so graphically bloody. I loved this movie, it was recommended by a friend and I have to say, Brad Pitt and Edward Norton SHOULD make more movies like this. Brad Pitt plays a bad boy soap salesman and Edward Norton plays a bored office worker with insomnia. The plot twist was good but the twist at the end was absolutely shocking. I loved this movie.
I give this movie a good 10/10
I give this movie a good 10/10
The Dark Knight
(2008)
much much better than the first one
29 July 2008
I thought the first one was good but compared to The Dark Knight, Batman Begins is shi*. This movie was excellent, Batman was great and Joker proved a physcotic villain for Gotham City. Scarecrow was only in it for fifteen minuets so I didn't really see the point of putting him in the movie and Harvey Dent played Gotham's White Knight great but I think he became Two-Face a bit late in the movie in my opinion. I thought Joker was THE best villain ever, his jokes mainly consist on hurting/killing people and blowing up buildings. There is some humour with Joker in the movie. Two-Face appeared quite late in the movie but still I was shocked at the way he looked, in the old movies he was just a different colour but in The Dark Knight he was burned flesh and you can see his jaw and bones. Excellent movie, 10/10 for the movie, 10/10 for Joker, 8/10 for Two-Face but Scarecrow isn't included. 10/10
Species III
(2004 TV Movie)
not as good as the first one
20 July 2008
I was slightly disappointed by this movie: it wasn't as violent, not as scary and no where near as much sex. All this movie has is slight violence, female nudity and just kissing. I haven't seen the ending and I don't intend to. The first Species movie was extremely strong in sexual content, so what the fuc* was this? Species is like almost xxx porn which I like but this? oh no this is nothing! I only saw one scene of violence, I got an erection in the scene where she was naked but in the 1st one I had an erection through out most of the movie. I don't like this movie, I mean the Species 1 movie had oral, anal and vaginal sex scenes, a blow-job scene, male rape scenes and a hotel sex scene. This had nothing. 4/10 is a good rating for this poor movie.
Species
(1995)
very sexual film
20 July 2008
I watched this film when I was 9 then the last half again when I was 12 and I have to say this film is really scary. I was pissing myself when I saw it at 9 but at 12 I was just a bit cautious, the main thing I liked about this movie was of course the sex. Honestly this is the one movie I've seen which is 2nd closest to xxx porn. (1st is the movie 9 Songs which I haven't seen). Most of the movie was just literally just fifteen minuet sex scenes. There's a scene where a woman gives a man a blow-job,one where Eve and a man are having actual sex in a hotel room, sex scene in a pool. She even rapes a few men! It is a violent movie though but has extreme sexual content. I had an erection through out most of the movie!
Hancock
(2008)
hilarious
13 July 2008
I saw this movie and I have to say-Will Smith has done it again! Almost everyone Will Smith movie is funny and this is no different. This is a hilarious movie and for all Will Smith fans GO WATCH THIS MOVIE. I loved it, intense violence and a little surprise at the end. This is a funny movie, I loved the bit when Hancock is in prison and he sticks a man's head up another man's as*. Proper funny and the suspense between Hancock and the lady who is another one of his kind is great. This movie deserves a good 10/10 for comedy and 10/10 for intense violence. The great thing about this movie is it's about what a modern day superhero would be like e.g. crashing into things and causing chaos. 10/10
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
(2006 Video Game)
not at good as San Andreas but still good
12 July 2008
I got two GTAs-GTA San Andreas on ps2 and this on psp and I have to say this is quite a good game. I mean the car stealing isn't as aggressive as in San Andreas and in San Andreas you can scale walls, you can't in this one but it still good. One thing I have noticed is some of the missions are similar to San Andreas for instance the mission 'Jive Drive' is just like the San Andreas mission 'Just Business' and in this the las mission 'Last Stand' is like the first half of the last mission in San Andreas 'End of the Line'. It is quite funny, I think this is more funny than San Andreas. This game is quite good so to any GTA fans buy Vice City Stories. (Oh by the way Vice means corruption so really they should call in Corruption City)
Death Sentence
(2007)
violent but excellent
5 July 2008
I wanted to watch this movie and I must tell you, whoever that doesn't like it is a complete idiot in movies! This movie is excellent and I loved it. The violence was superb 10/10 and the plot is great and it is well just a good movie. It did get a bit sad when Billy I think his name is shot Nick's wife and kid. I think one part was funny when Nick fired the shotgun at the man and he crashed out the window then shot the other guy and blew off his leg. Perfect movie, perfect violence and a perfect storyline. This movie deserves a good 10/10. I was going to get Sweeney Todd but when it was sold out I got this instead. 10/10 This movie deserves
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
(2005 Video Game)
not bad but worst out the series
29 June 2008
I go this game and it is alright I guess. I just expected a bit more. The main problem with this is that the hacking is extremely hard, even if you read the instructions you can't get it. Also the graphics aren't as good as Pandora Tomorrow and Double Agent. This game could do with some improvements, it says that if guards are waling in water and you shoot a sticky shocker in the water the guard will fry up but nothing happens. In my opinion this is the worst out of the three. I haven't played the first one but have played Pandora Tomorrow, this and Double agent. This game deserves a 4/10 though. Could do with some improvements.
Splinter Cell: Essentials
(2006 Video Game)
alright game
29 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Info: This game takes place very shortly after Double Agent,Sam is arrested by Homeland Security and is being demanded questions because Williams framed him for murder. He and Grimsdottir are the last remaining NSA agents that haven't either died or split from NSA. Sam kills Lambert to hide his cover from Emile. At the las mission you break into the Whitehouse and transmit a message to Williams saying that he has out you through enough and one day Sam will kill him.
Comment: good game actually! better than I thought it would be. The graphics could have done with more improvement but it is a challenging game. The voice changing level is proper hard. Yah i think a 6/10 should suit this game nicely!
NEEDS more improvement on graphics though, buy this game if you are a splinter cell fan
Comment: good game actually! better than I thought it would be. The graphics could have done with more improvement but it is a challenging game. The voice changing level is proper hard. Yah i think a 6/10 should suit this game nicely!
NEEDS more improvement on graphics though, buy this game if you are a splinter cell fan
This Is England
(2006)
excellent film and loved it
22 June 2008
by far this is THE best drama movie I've ever seen. Well done to Shane Meadows (director of movie)excellent. For some reason I wasn't offended when Shawn walked into the shop and shouted "just give me my stuff you paki bastard"! My brother liked the movie, my thought it was OK (too much swearing) but I loved it. I hated the bit when Combo beats the crap out of Milky for no reason at all. This Is England is a 10/10 is my opinion. I don't think there'll be a sequel to this movie. Shane Meadows should make more movies like this, best drama ever made in my opinion. This movie deserves a quality 10/10 from all reviews and all people.
50 Cent: Bulletproof
(2005 Video Game)
OK game-could be better
3 May 2008
First of all this game is alright but could do with a few minor adjustments. Number 1-this game needs MORE swearing, I don't think I heard one swear from this game. Number 2-this game needs MORE sex, there was only women wearing tight and slightly revealing clothes and considering it is about a rapper it needs more sex. Number 3-this game needs LESS violence, I don't usually say that, in fact I've never said that but this game did get boring because all there is, is gunning people down, stabbing, taking people out and number 4-this game needs to be EASIER, seriously this game is one the most hardest in my game piles. Not EVERYTHING in this game is bad, some parts are funny but needs some adjustments. 6/10
Iron Man
(2008)
great movie
3 May 2008
I can't start to tell you how happy I am to see a very good movie like this. After I had seen that shi* movie Golden Compass I had lost faith in the cinema now Iron Man has restored it. Compelling action and a great plot. The Iron Monger plays a great bad guy in the movie. Not only does it have action but in various scenes I laughed, this movie is actually quite funny at times! I really hope they make an Iron Man 2 because this movie is a great thing to watch. Go to cinema and watch Iron Man, believe me you will NOT be disappointed. 10/10 is my rating for this superb movie.
I LOVED IT
I LOVED IT
Tell Your Friends