User Reviews

I didn't quite know what to make of "Paradise Alley" when it first came out in 1978, and quite truthfully, I don't quite know what to make of it today. Back in the mid 1960's I became quite a fan of professional wrestling, oxymoron as that description is. So it was the wrestling theme that prompted me to see it during it's theatrical release. Coming off the success of "Rocky", it was as if Sylvester Stallone had to follow up that first hit with another self propelled film as writer, actor and director. The comparisons to "Rocky", inevitable as they are, should be a cautionary one though. The former was a true diamond in the rough honored as "Best Picture", while "Paradise" and it's characters have trouble defining themselves in post War 1946 Hell's Kitchen.

It seems as if each of the Carboni Brothers undergoes a personality change during the story. Cosmo (Stallone) is the schemer who prompts Victor (Lee Cannalito) to become a wrestler by going up against and defeating the house champion Big Glory (Frank McRae). Brother Lenny (Armand Assante) is at first protective of Victor, but with the wrestler's success in the ring, the tables turn and Cosmo begins to question Lenny's ethics and handling of the purses. Lenny becomes the stereotype of a boxing manager, deflecting questions about his integrity and how he's handling Vic's money.

For me, a couple of things didn't ring true historically for the film's 1940's setting. The characters of Annie (Anne Archer) and Bunchie (Joyce Ingalls) looked just a little bit too glamorous for the story's backdrop. As for the wrestling scenes, though well done and featuring some of the mid '70's top mat stars, they were based quite heavily on the actual wrestling style of the Seventies. You had your grappling moves defined by flips and throws, punctuated by a Ray Stevens maneuver as he catapults into a turnbuckle. However most mat action prior to the 1960's was anything but, with rare exception. Even the widely available 1960 championship bout between Buddy Rogers and Pat O'Connor featured a lot of stale and boring rest holds.

Ironically, I just saw this film again on the cable Yes Network hosted by Yogi Berra in a format titled "Yogi and a Movie". Between scenes, the famed Yankee great would talk about his youth and watching pro wrestlers like Lou Thesz and Strangler Lewis. Story boards between acts mentioned a lot of trivia about the film that appears on the IMDb site for this movie, which leads me to believe that it could have been a reference point for the presentation.

There are a number of reasons to check out "Paradise Alley", and not just to be a Stallone completist. The filming style, particularly some of the bar scenes with their red tint lends a certain uniqueness to the movie. Another is the voice of Sly Stallone singing "Too Close to Paradise" over the opening credits and the rooftop race against "Rat" (Paul Mace). The one scene though that will test your patience is Victor singing to his parakeet, it's probably the one scene in film history that had me wishing for fingernails on a chalkboard.

**SPOILERS** Not to be confused with the 1962 Hugo Haas autobiographical masterpiece of the same name "Paradise Alley" is in fact, like the Haas film, a labor of love by it's writer director star as well as the person who sings, or mumbles, the films tidal song "Too close to Paradise" actor Sylvester "Sly" Stallone.

In fact Stallone, playing Casmo Carboni, downplays his role in order to give his two brothers in the movie Lenny, Armard Assante, and Victor aka wrestler Kid Salami, Lee Canalito, not only more exposure but more likable parts then himself. Cosmo at first is nothing but a neighbor, in post WWII crime ridden Hells Kitchen, con-artist to whom doing an honest days work is against his religion.

Later when Cosmo gets involved with local hoodlum Stich Mohan, Kevin Conway, that he uses his kind hearted and sweet, if not a bit slow, brother Victor as his meal ticket out of Hells Kitchen that things start to go sour. Not just for Cosmo and Victor but his, what looks like, older brother WWII disabled veteran Lenny. Using Victor as a battering ram to make a mint in the local wrestling circles Cosmo has "Vic" precipitate in no less then 41 matches in as many days winning all of them and making a bundle for Cosmo & Lenny.

As the movie goes to it's inevitable conclusion Victor battles Stich's #1 leg-breaker Frankie the Thumper, played by wrestling legend Terry Funk, in a no holds barred no time limit match at the Paradise Alley sports arena. The biggest surprise in the match between Victor and Frankie isn't who ends up winning but what Stich has been keeping secret from everyone, but his haberdasher, in just what kind of undies he's comfortable with! And it's isn't "Fruit of the Loom".

The interesting parts of the movie "Paradise Alley" have more to do with Lenny and Cosmo then with their heroic and good natured brother Victor. It seems that Cosmo had picked up Lenny's girlfriend Annie, Ann Archer, on the rebound after Lenny broke up with her. Being crippled Lenny didn't want Annie to feel sorry for him and just let her go. It's later after Cosmo got very friendly with Annie that Lenny soon realized his mistake, that in fact Annie loved him despite his affliction, that he wanted her back! All this got Lenny's brother Cosmo, who all this time thought that Annie was in love with him, a bit hot under the collar.

This rivalry for Annies affections also spilled over into what both Cosmo and Lenny thought what was best for their big, six foot six and 250 pound, brother Victor. Cosmo who got Victor into the wrestling business in the first place now want's Victor to quit before he gets his brains scrambled. Lenny who at first was against Victor being a professional wrestler, he had a job as an ice delivery man, is now so gong-ho in Victor career that as long as the money, and Victor's string of victories, keep coming in he doesn't care if his big brother ends up being a vegetable!

***SPOILER ALERT*** There's a very sad, and in a way funny, sequence between Cosmo and washed up wrestler Big Glory, Frank McRea, towards the end of the film. Getting themselves juiced up, on wine, Cosmo and Big Gory end up spending Christmas Eve wrecking half of Hell's Kitcher, with Victor's ice truck, ending up smashing into and through Stich's bar's front window. Talking things over about life and death at the near deserted city piers Big Glory, as if he's joking, tells Cosmo that he's leaving this world happy and them, before Cosmo could do anything to stop him, jumps into the river! It turns out that even in this effort the luckless Big Glory had things go against him. But sadly enough that didn't stop the more then determined ex-wrestler and professional football player from eventually doing himself in.

It was this sad and shocking event that finally convinced Cosmo that the path that he and Lenny choose for Victor would lead him to the same place, the bottom of the Hudson River, that it lead Big Glory to. And it was that what had the two brothers, Cosmo & Lenny, have Victor go for it, for the last time, in battling it out with Frankie for his last and biggest payday. Luckily for them and with the fact that he was born on the 22nd of the month, a vital part in the strategy in how he fought Frankie, Victor didn't disappoint his brothers as well as those who bet on him.

This is one of the worst movies ever made. Stallone wrote it and stars in it, and made himself the talky character-actor character, and his acting is horrific. He tries to be the likes of Burt Young in ROCKY, and misses... oh how he misses. Some problems with the movie. Armand Assante begins as his nice older brother while Stallone is a jerk; then, after a collage of scenes, Assante becomes a cross between Michael Corleone and Mickey from ROCKY, and Darth Vadar. He becomes a sinister and evil man, and it makes no sense whatsoever. The plot, as little as it is, involves Stallone getting his other brother, a really big good looking guy who resembles a giant Marlon Brando (in his prime). But as a viewer I could care less about any of the characters. Oh, and if you really want a laugh, the main song, that appears during a horrific credit scene involving a rooftop race, is sung by Sly himself, sounding like Elvis imitating Frankenstein's monster. Another problem I had with this movie is the same problem I had with the main characters in SWING SHIFT and NEW YORK, NEW YORK, that is, all involves a guy who stays home and doesn't fight in the war. Now, for a Vietnam era movie this isn't bad; it happens all the time. But when it involved World War 2, it just doesn't cut it, and that character isn't likable... not to me. This movie is horrible. It's like a cartoon. Speaking of... the great character actor Kevin Conway (who played three different roles in FUNHOUSE by Tobe Hopper) plays a bar owner thug who talks like Bugs Bunny. I think he's trying for a Cagney, but fails. A lot of good actors fail in this bomb: Anne Archer, who seems like she's imitating an old corny movie on purpose; Frank McCrea, who, for no reason, jumps into a river and kills himself; and the great late cult actor Joe Spinell (the mob guy in ROCKY) as an evil, yet still goofy, wrestling promoter. This film tries to involve wrestling like ROCKY did boxing... and fails. Oh boy how it fails... on all counts... 3,2,1...

In a review of 1984's Rhinestone I claimed that it was roughly the point where Sylvester Stallone's career started to become derailed. Yet having watched Paradise Alley, I realise I was wrong.

It's astonishing just how rapidly the actorly ego and lack of people to tell him "no" emerged. Stallone's first two post-Rocky movies featured him in America's past. F.I.S.T (7/10) had him play a 1930s union man, backed by the superlative Rod Steiger and directed by the man behind In The Heat of the Night. Spending nearly two hours watching Stallone as a union rep is an odd choice right on the back of the commercial hit Rocky - kind of like following up Raging Bull with a pseudo-biopic of Arthur Scargill - but it's a decent film, generally well made.

Yet somehow that same year someone had convinced Stallone that not only could he direct, but he could also sing as well. Groaning the forgettable title tune, he delivers a childlike depiction of 1940s slum life in Paradise Alley, an overearnest tale that produces laughs only when none are intended. Both his 1978 films feature an arm wrestling match, nine years before he'd make an entire film around the sport in guilty pleasure Over The Top. But just take a look at the depictions of said arm wrestling matches in both '78 vehicles... Norman Jewison's is the one that's not making you cry with unintentional laughter.

Stallone isn't an awful director, but there's no reason why he should have discarded the original Rocky director for four of the sequels. (In fairness, when John G. Avildsen was brought back, then Rocky V was a famous misfire). But in just one month he moved from shooting a film under the watchful eye of the man behind The Thomas Crown Affair to shooting a movie under the watchful eye of the man behind Staying Alive and The Expendables.

The difference is hugely pronounced, as F.I.S.T has a relatively controlled and purposeful performance from Stallone, while Paradise Alley has him wholly believing he's being charming and likable (a la Balboa), instead of just obnoxious and tiresome. The character he plays in Paradise Alley is as likable a character as Stallone is good at singing. Ultimately the entire movie comes off as a vanity project, and far from a good one: the difference between the two films could not be more marked.

The movie was ok or mediocre. The beginning of the film was a bit confusing and it was a bit unclear to me if it was just symbolic. The movie gets going and the characters are introduced. Stallone is the clear lead character. He plays a traditional and confident role. Not the best Stallone, but nothing more was required. The timeline is completely believable. Cars, clothing, alleys. It is entirely believable that these characters live in the late 1940s. The characters are a bit cartoonish and it is very clear who the "villains" are. A three-part drama has been developed into the story. The film's direction and cinematography are functional. Slow motion is also used, as it should be in a big wrestling show. The end of the film is rather long and there seems to be no reason for the action to continue because you can already guess the end from the story. However, this is definitely worth checking out. Let's keep in mind that this was made right before Rocky II. Paradise Alley is clearly a single film and does not need a sequel.

1940's. Hell's Kitchen. Shrewd, fast-talking, and ambitious con man Cosmo Carboni (well played by Sylvester Stallone, who also wrote, directed, and even sings the theme song!) encourages his good-natured, dim-witted, but strong-as-an-ox younger brother Victor (a solid and engaging performance by amiable big lug Lee Canalito) to participate in wrestling matches in order to win enough money to get out of their impoverished neighborhood. Stallone blends sentiment and seaminess into a tasty offbeat mix that manages to find just the right balance of grit, humor, warmth, and pathos. Better still, Stallone presents a vivid and flavorsome evocation of the period setting along with a beautifully lurid underworld milieu that's both captivating and appealing in equal measure. Armand Assante does strong work as Cosmo's cynical and crippled war veteran sibling Lenny. Frank McRae likewise shines with his touching turn as faded and battered washed-up brawler Big Glory. Moreover, there's a delightful array of colorful low-life secondary characters: Kevin Conway as slimy crime kingpin Stitch, Joe Spinell as flashy wrestling ring emcee Burp, and Terry Funk as fearsome brute Frankie the Thumper. This movie further benefits from the charming presence of three attractive ladies: Anne Archer as sassy'n'sultry redhead dance hall gal Annie, Aimee Eccles as the sweet Susan Chow, and Joyce Ingalls as classy dame Bunchie. Laszlo Kovacs' glittery cinematography provides a striking garish look. Bill Conti's spare harmonic score does the trick, too. A nicely quirky little winner.