User Reviews

We decided to watch this movie for laughs, but had no idea how but absolutely bad it was going to be. Not a single element of the film can be salvaged. Here are some of the things that made me laugh/cringe:

1. The Bar. There are two short bar scenes, one in "Congo" the other in "Mexico". The bar is the EXACT SAME. They couldn't even be bothered to paint the walls, or change the liquor bottles. They simply replaced African Masks for Sombreros on the walls. 2. The word Eggs is pronounced 357 times 3. The "helicopter" has desk chairs... and they're mismatched. 4. The hero (Jaleel White) builds a high tech ultrasonic device out of a... small plastic circuit board... with a screwdriver. 5. The shark roars underwater. Just like a tiger 6. My absolute favorite (I cried laughing and replayed it): Gary Stretch runs toward the monster and does an unnecessary pirouette landing ungainly on his back, guns flailing awkwardly, then clumsily stands up firing, tongue out in effort. All in beautiful slo-mo.

Everybody's favourite Armour-piercing shell proof shark is back, and its not alone. Accompanied by a 1500-foot long prehistoric harbinger of poorly rendered destruction, the Megashark leads a band of intrepid experts and the US Military on a wild and often confusing romp around the globe. The trouble begins when the Megashark finds something more delicious than US Naval Frigates, namely the eggs laid by the Crocosaurus. As the tension rises between the two pinnacles of Computer Generated Imagery, the US Army plots the annihilation of the two animals, conceiving a plan including 'hydro sonic balls', the Panama Canal, and a whole heap of factual ignorance.

Masterfully dodging precisely-targeted cruise missiles and torpedoes, the pair rack up a significant body count, managing, it seems, to kill some people more than once, owing to the miracle of re-used footage. When the two beasts finally do battle, the US Military apparently prevail, utilising a rather timely volcanic explosion, leaving the two to descend slowly into the abyss. The corpses are never shown, leaving viewers expecting (and perhaps dreading) a sequel.

While it is important to note with this movie that the intention was never to create an action blockbuster, the meta-ironic farce approach the Asylum takes doesn't really do it for this film. Hopefully self-aware, the scripting is clunky, the factual ignorance is inconceivable, and the special effects are non existent. Stuck somewhere between a spoof and a low budget, try-hard blockbuster, this is one to see for those with very low expectations.

MMMEGA SHARK!!!!!!!! VERRRSUSSS...CROCOSAURUSSSS!!!!! What's next? Godzilla vs. Chuck Norris Turtle? Who Knows, the possibilities are truly endless. Well I suppose we should start with the positive aspects of this stinker. Well it is fun to watch and make fun of, and lord knows Jaleel White isn't that bad in this.

Now on to the negative aspects. Well aside from Jaleel White, all the actors are terrible. The characters are very boring, and the story is bland and uninspired beyond belief. Even the monsters aren't anything special. Speaking of the monsters, the worst part about this movie, are the special effects. The monsters radically change size and appearance, the computer models look rushed, and the explosions look like they were made by a 7th grader.

In the end. This is a terrible film, but as said before, it is one that is fun to watch, so see it at your own risk.

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus starts in the Republic of Congo where some diamond miners stumble across some giant Crocodile eggs & awaken a giant prehistoric Crocosaurus that goes on a rampage killing anyone in it's way, big game hunter Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch) is hired to track Crocosaurus down & kill it but manages to tranquilize it in an effort to keep it alive & make a fortune from it. Meanwhile the US Navy have been busily searching for the carcass of Mega Shark but so far have been unable to locate it, then Mega Shark attacks the US Gibson & the military realise that it didn't die in it's titanic fight with Giant Octopus after all. Now two huge prehistoric predators are loose, a giant Shark & a giant Crocodile, it's up to the US military to kill them both...

Directed by Christopher Ray this is The Asylum's follow up to it's surprise cult hit Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) & once again while the title promises much giant creature feature fun the actual film itself is total crap devoid of any humour, fun or entertainment. Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus is one of those films that has to be seen to be believed, it's just so bad on every level it's cringe worthy. The script is a mess with no sort of logic or subtlety about it, everyone speaks in broad sweeping statements, the attempts at character's development are embarrassing & the film makes no sense at all. Even though Mega Shark survived the last film there's no explanation behind the appearance of Crocosaurus or it's origin, was it stuck in that diamond all these years? Why not show itself before? Then there are scenes that just defy logic or reason, the part when Crocosaurus appears to eat Putnam but then spits him back out before collapsing for no apparent reason is a real head scratching moment, the way Mega Shark manages to grab a torpedo in it's mouth & jump out of the water, the way that helicopter crashes but then that woman manages to get it working again & get it flying, the way the two heroes at the end set off to battle Mega Shark & Crocosaurus in a small rubber dinghy & the idea that Mega Shark eating a nuclear submarine then make him a nuclear bomb is just plain absurd. There are many moments that defy any logic or sense, why did Putnam jump off the ship? How did he end up on the beach not far from his favourite bar? There's some nonsense about Crocosaurus laying hundreds of eggs in a matter of hours & underwater Volcanoes but it still seems odd that the might of the military can't keep track of or kill these two creatures. Why not try to poison them if their skin is so tough? Also what happened to the baby Crocosaurus monsters that hatched? Mega Shark & Crocosaurus are killed at the end but what about the baby ones that everyone seemed so worried about? They are completely forgotten about. Keep watching after the end credits as there's an extra scene in which Putnam is called away to Japan because of a giant lizard in an obvious reference to Godzilla. At 88 minutes long Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus feels like it goes on forever with endless footage set in a helicopter cockpit of the three main character's talking & inside a ship's control room as the poor actor's try to add some dramatic weight to the terrible CGI effects that are randomly spliced between them. This is just terrible, there's no fun to be had here at all & just like The Asylum this piece of crap is purely to cash-in on another film (unusually for The Asylum, one of their own though) & make money.

As expected the CGI computer effects are absolutely terrible, were they done by some random nine year old on his mom & dad's home PC? Maybe. The showpiece of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus should have been the final climactic showdown between the two title creatures but even this is total crap, there's a bit of biting & tail slapping but otherwise you will have forgotten all about it by the time the credits have stopped rolling. There's no blood or gore apart from one severed arm & the one single likable character in the entire thing is killed off too quickly. Mega Shark seems to change size between shots while there's a badly edited scene in which Mega Shark & Crocosaurus are seen washed up fighting in the middle of a city but then in the next shot are back out at sea. This is just poor filmmaking from start to finish, no-ones heart seems in it & you can't blame them really.

Shot in Los Angeles this thing looks cheap with terrible CGI, dull locations & cheap sets. The acting is bad, the attractive blonde bird who contacts Putnam & then gets killed off was quite fun & she seemed to be trying to inject some humour into her role but like I said she is killed off too quickly to leave the rest of the untalented cast to sleepwalk though the turgid dialogue & ridiculous situations.

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus again has a great title & could have been fun in the right hands, the hands of filmmakers who cared & had at least some talent but in the hands of the folk at The Asylum this is just one big disaster & it just awful from start to finish.

Oh, man. Just when things couldn't get any crazier. Then again, what do you expect from a company called The Asylum? With the surprising success of the hit sci-fi movie Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, The Asylum decided to continue the story with an all new foe for their celebrity Megalodon shark, a somewhat bigger budget, and the one and only Jaleel White a.k.a. Urkel from Family Matters.

Plot: Sometime after the events of the previous film, Mega Shark mysteriously comes back crazier than ever (whatever happened to the Giant Octopus is unknown), but this time he's not alone. In the jungles of Africa, a gigantic prehistoric female crocodile has awakened thanks to some illegal mining operation. She gets captured, but soon escapes and goes around laying hundreds of eggs. Attracted to the smell of an easy and plentiful meal, the shark proceeds to eat the eggs, but now he must deal with the wrath of an enraged, protective mother. With the world caught between the two titans, a military sonics wiz/shark specialist, a crocodile expert, and a special agent must find a way to stop these creatures before their battle of self preservation vs. maternal instinct destroys all of humanity.

Compared to M.G. vs G.O., this one is actually a little better and the battles between the monsters is treated with a more epic and destructive feel. Mega shark does his usual tricks like catching planes but Crocosaurus has proved herself to be the more lethal of the two not only because she has a stronger bite (enough to make the shark bleed for a moment) and tougher skin, but she can also can go on land to cause greater destruction and not to mention she has hundreds of babies on the verge of hatching. The stakes are truly raised here. The actors for the most part are okay and the dialogue between Jallel White's and Gary Stretch's characters tends to be pretty funny. On a side note, this movie does have significantly less repeated CGI shots than the fist one, which is good.

Long story short, this is a cool movie and is more worth the watch than the last movie. They should do Crocosaurus vs Giant Octopus next. You're free to see these in order. Check it out.

OK, so last night I wanted to treat myself with a low-budget movie. Luckily, Mega Shark vs "Crocosaurus" was on TV the same night. Just by looking at the name of the movie itself, I know I was in for a real cheese fest.

The characters really don't go together. You have a skipper whose boat was thrashed by the two beasts, a special agent who has the amazing ability to keep a straight robot-like face without ever giving a smile, then you have one of the crewmen from a aircraft carrier who is also out to destroy the two beasts who have been threatening national security. This crewman (Jaleel White) is the only actor I could recognize throughout the whole film. Man, I thought Jaleel was some kind of big actor or something (I first heard of him when he played in Big Fat Liar). Apparently not. The acting isn't very good and it still amazes me how the actors can keep a straight face with all the cheesiness going on. Here and there you get some okay acting.

Near the end, there are so many things going on at the same time. You can't keep track of how many submarines are introduced to you and whether Mega Shark has been killed or just injured Crocosaurus. At one point, I thought Crocosaurus was killed, but then the two creatures were duking it out again.

There are so many things wrong in this film. A lot of plot holes, unexplained situations and not to mention, the overall quality of the special effects. I'm not going to hate on the special effects so much as the other people who have also reviewed this film. If I'm not mistaken, this is a direct-to-video film and was probably made by a very small company. You're not suppose to expect decent special effects. I have a few concerns with the special effects though. Any vehicle bigger than a car (a helicopter, plane, ship) is made from CGI, really bad CGI. So don't expect any car chases or fancy flying. Is it really that expensive to rent a helicopter? Mega Shark and Crocosaurus don't look believable at all. There are also a whole lot of reused scenes. The sets are also not very well constructed. Adding a lot of blue LED lights won't make things look more real.

Don't get me wrong, this film has the ability to entertain you. You'll witness how a man, after being washed out onto a beach, waves his gun at innocent children and cursing them for no valid reason, you'll see how a enormous shark swallows a nuclear-powered submarine (apparently turning the shark into a "nuclear bomb") in one go and how Mega Shark is propelled into the air by a submarine's missile. Pretty hilarious.

If you are willing to turn your mind off for 80 minutes, then I highly recommend this film.

After watching this, erm, film I have only questions.

1. Why did the sailor's girlfriend's watch which was on a bracelet, also fit the boyfriend perfectly who had wrists twice as big?

2. Why did the giant shark keep jumping over the USS Missouri?

3. Why did the NOAA agent not know how to hold a gun and torch at the same time? I've seen this on NCIS etc often. What is NOAA?

4. What is a nuclear arc and why did the workers at the power station send one to Orlando, on one phone call? Could I make a call like that? How did the 'arc' hit the croc and nothing else in Orlando ?

5. Why were baby crocs or was it sharks, attack Santa Monica pier? Why don't they like piers?

6. What accent did the mine boss have? I have never heard an accent in the English language like that.

7. Why was the Australian woman wearing high heals in the middle of the Congo? Had she just arrived from Sydney, and hadn't changed; did she only bring one pair of shoes?

8. Why was a salt water croc living in the middle of Africa?

9. How did that guy know the croc or shark (forgive my confusion, it's all a blur) Was heading for Miami? Are there pre-set shark or croc sea lanes as with ships?

10. Why was the shark scanning the skies for aeroplanes to jump up at?

11. Why did the helicopter crash with the agent left for dead, then it was flying again with the same agent at the controls?

12. How much tranquiliser did it take to subdue the croc the size of a ship?

13. Why didn't the shark leave a bigger wake form its fin?

14. Why did the buildings in Miami look exactly as those in Hawaii?

That's just for starters. Great film though. It's good that they allow children to produce films as practice for when they grow up and want to do it seriously when they are older and actually know stuff.

The low-budget Mega Shark movie franchise started before the Sharknado series, the first film was abysmal, but the following year the creators brought us another helping of the nonsense. Basically deep in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, an illegal diamond mining operation is interrupted when a giant 150 foot (46 m) prehistoric crocodile is awoken. Meanwhile in Atlantic Ocean, the giant Megalodon shark has survived the giant octopus fight, and attacks and sinks the US Navy warship USS Gibson. Lt. Terry McCormick (Jaleel White) is the only survivor of the attack, he was experimenting with a sonic shark-repellent device, while in the Congo, English hunter Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch) has captured and tranquilised the giant crocodile. In Los Angeles, California, McCormick is interrogated by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Special Agent Hutchinson (Sarah Lieving), McCormick feels guilty that he lured the shark, he offers to help to catch it. Meanwhile the crocodile is being carried on a cargo ship, it is revealed that it is carrying the crocodile's eggs as well, without warning the shark attacks the ship, waking the crocodile, Putnam and his partner Jean (Gerald Webb) jump overboard before the ship is destroyed. Onboard aircraft carrier USS Lexington, McCormick meets Admiral Calvin (Star Trek: Voyager's Robert Picardo), he tells of the objective the hunt down and destroy the Megalodon, while Hutchinson meets Putnam, she is shocked to find out about a giant crocodile on the loose as well. They then discover the location of some crocodile eggs, Calvin assigns McCormick to accompany Hutchinson and Putnam and capture an egg, which are about to hatch, but a shark fin is spotted close to the island, an airstrike takes place. As the team leave the island, the crocodile is angered by the shark swallowing its eggs, while missiles are fired at those eggs remaining in the cave, the crocodile attacks Miami, before an arc flash fire sends the creature back into the sea. Putnam suggest opening an egg to find out the crocodile's vulnerabilities, one egg is aboard the submarine USNS Invincible, while two are being taken by Black Hawk helicopters, but the shark is attracted to them, and attacks these crafts. With no trap big enough to capture both creatures, a retrieval plan to use more crocodile eggs is devised, these are dropped in Panama Canal, both creatures are lured by them, where they battle each other, while the Navy attack, the chaos causes a tidal wave to destroy Panama Canal as both creatures continue to fight. It is revealed the crocodile has adapted itself to lay more eggs, hundreds more are laid on the American coastline, hatchlings are attacking Santa Monica pier, while the two giant creatures are heading towards Hawaii. A nuclear submarine misses with a missile attack, and is swallowed by the shark, the creature is now a bigger threat, as it has a nuclear reactor inside, while the crocodile attacks the helicopter carrying McCormick, Putnam and Hutchinson, they survive the crash, but Hutchinson is unconscious. McCormick and Putnam will use the sonic emitter as part of a new plan, to lure both creatures to an undersea volcanic range, both adult creatures are lured and fight each other, while the crocodile hatchlings come to assist their mother. Hutchinson recovers and picks up McCormick and Putnam, as the volcano explodes and detonates the nuclear reactor inside the shark, the combined blast kills both the adult and juvenile creatures, the charred shark and crocodile are still latched onto each other as their bodies sink into the volcano. Also starring Dylan Vox as CWO Butowski and Hannah Cowley as Legatt. There may be one or two faces I recognised in the cast, more than previously, but it doesn't matter, and there were more special effects to bring the giant shark and crocosaurus to life, but as before, they are awful, as is the story and the concept, another waste of time science-fiction horror. Poor!

Hello, it me r2.

I liked film because one reason I like was crocodiles are like cool. I would metaphorically jump with joy if I wasn't milking the mum (you know how it is).

anyhoo metaphorically send help